Seed Starter wrote: ↑December 6th, 2023, 9:42 pm
I'm nearly done with my resignation letter. I will share when I'm done. I'm not leaving this forum but I'm done white-knuckling my membership in the LDS church. The cognitive dissonance is too much for me to tolerate a minute longer. I'm feeling a great deal of weight this evening. Not because I'm unsure about my decision but because I feel locked in the cage of my birth. Pulling myself through the bars is painful. I've been a member for over half a century (my entire life) and I know what to expect from some family and even some friends. I feel conditioned not to do what I'm doing and I never thought it would be so uncomfortable to reject the conditioning.
I've spent over 3 years praying, studying the scriptures, pondering, and researching this decision. I'm extremely sad because in my opinion the corporate church contradicts the Gospel of Christ and many of its leaders aren't who they said they were. I feel like my trust was taken advantage of in many ways. I love Christ and His gospel. He is my rock and the only way to salvation. I believe in the Book of Mormon. I believe the Holy Ghost can confirm the truth of all things. The crazy thing is my love for those two things is why I'm separating myself from the corporate church. I believe I've come to understand the difference between a mistake and wanton disobedience to Christ. Spiritually speaking I am a rootbound tree growing in a pot inside of a house. I want to be outside where I can stretch my roots deeply into the soil and I want to produce good fruit and shade for the weary. I want to protect smaller plants. I want to grow strong enough to handle the wind in my branches. I want the sunlight to shine down on me. I did not put myself in the pot but that pot is limiting my growth in many ways.
I realize many members are on this site and I have no ill will toward them. I appreciate all of the things I've been taught by all of you wonderful people. Even in disagreement, there are lessons for me to learn. I appreciate the acts of kindness I've experienced here. This feels like my home ward. Thank you! I would appreciate anyone who feels like praying for me and my family to do so.
Just today I wrote a response to a comment on Youtube, and I have no idea whether this is in any way benefitial to you, but it helped me greatly on my journey, and so I hope you don't mind me posting this.. Understanding this has allowed me to love the good in the church, and yet to still be authentic about its downfalls, and it brought somewhat peace into my life... Not everything may be relevant to your situation, but I still hope its okay to just share it..
Here it is (you may notice it was a response to a Evangelical)
God equals truth (John 14:6), meaning, everyone that embraces truth, though he may not specifically know about the law, or about the God standing behind that truth, still honors God by living and loving that truth, becoming a law unto themselves, having the law (as well as the spirit of God) written in their hearts (Romans 2:15-15)
God equals love (1 John 4:8), meaning, those that love do not just fulfill the law (Romans 13:8), but also “know God” (1 John 4:8), and by “knowing God”, have “eternal life” (John 17:3).. Hence, the invitation to "above all, love one another" (1 Peter 4:8), along with the clarification that "there is no greater love, than to lay down your life for your friends (John 15:13), which to me is not just referring to dying, but also to serving others selflessly.
Personally I love the parable of the “good Samaritan” in that regard, because from the perspective of the Jews, the Samaritans were pagans, believing in a false interpretation of the scriptures and of God. And yet he was the one whom Christ considered to be “good”, not because he got every doctrine right, or because he worshiped a perfectly accurate interpretation of God in the exact right way, but simply because he showed mercy and charity.
So when I refer to “love”, do I not refer to "just being “kind”, but I refer to the kind of charity Paul talks about, the kind of love that leads to long-suffering, kindness, meekness, patience, forgiveness, selflessness, that loves truth above all lies, though these lies may be someone's present truth etc.
In other words, I can see how a dude on a remote isle land that never heard anything about God or the Bible, may “know God” more than the most devout Christian next door that certainly may know everything “about God”, even brining forth all sorts of works, faith, miracles, gifts of the spirit, knowing and understanding all of Gods mysteries, sacrificing his entire life for God, but yet still fails to “know God” in all his doings due to lack of charity.
And Paul clearly seems to affirm when stating that even when people know all about God, bringing forth all these signs and wonders, that there is no value to it if not rooted in charity (1 Corinth. 13).
And so I agree with Moroni from the Book of Mormon when he states that "everything which inviteth and enticeth to good .. is of God".. or in other words, everything that brings forth within ourselves the "good fruit of charity" is of God.
Jesus, when talking about discerning true from false Prophets in these last days (and from my experience this principle of discernment works on everything), he very clearly states that "ye shall know them by their fruits" (Matthew 7), indicating that once we tasted of that “good fruit”, we can know without ANY doubt, that the tree where it's coming from (meaning the source of the truth claim, whether that be the Prophets, the Bible, a religion, or visions and dreams etc.).
So obviously the “good fruit” can not refer to anything that can be corrupted in any way, be manipulated in any way, be turned into an idle in any way, which according to Paul can happen though with works, faith, miracles, the gifts of the spirit, great sacrifices, and even to the knowing and understanding of all mysteries of God, if it lacks charity, and yes, that even includes the Bible, which can be made an idle if it replaces what "knowing God "should be all about. The “good fruit” can not even refer to “charity” we see within others, because they can still fake that charity, or pretend it for “unrighteous reasons”.
So, the only thing that can neither be turned into an idle, nor be manipulated, nor be deceptive, and with that qualifies to be "the good fruit" Jesus talked about, by which we are to discern spiritual truth from deception, is the charity that is brought forth “within ourselves”, meaning, everything that inspires anyone to bring forth that kind of long-suffering, kindness, meekness, patience, forgiveness etc, if of God, and everyone that "becomes" that kind of charity, knows God, and everyone that knows God, will obtain eternal life, something that works especially great with the LDS doctrine that God has the desire and is powerful enough to want "everyone to be saved and understand truth" (1 Tim. 2: 4-6), preparing ways that everyone, whether in this life or in the next, will be allowed to come to a full understanding of Jesus Christ, for he is the center of all truth, and he will not judge people to hell that have honored him, known him, though they may not have known anything about him.
In that sense do I see a great purpose, a great divine plan, great mercy and justice in God having created a world with so much diversity. There is divine purpose behind all the different religions and world views, and in my view that proves that God can and should never be limited to one world view, one interpretation or even one set of books that basically proves that God cares more about preserving a inerrant book for thousand of years to save a tiny portion of his own creations, but obviously lacks the power and/or desire to apply the same kind of principle upon his own creations.
As I see it, God works on a much larger scale.
If we are to believe James, then all of us, whether saved or unsaved, whether Christian or Muslim, whether black or white, will one day receive the exact kind of mercy from God, that we have extended towards others (James 2:13). It will be our own mercy, that will "rejoice against judgement", and what greater mercy can there be than the one rooted on the pure love of Christ?
So I conclude here with C.S. Lewis, who put it this way:
“It is as well to put this the other way round. Some of us who seem quite nice people may, in fact, have made so little use of a good heredity and good upbringing that we are really worse than those whom we regard as fiends. Can we be quite certain how we should have behaved if we had been saddled with the psychological outfit, and then with the bad upbringing, and then with the power, say, of Himmler?
That is why Christians are told not to judge.
We see only the results which a man's choices make out of his raw material. But God does not judge him on the raw material at all, but on what he has done with it. Most of the man's psychological makeup is probably due to his body: when his body dies all that will fall off him, and the real central man, the thing that chose, that made the best or worst out of this material, will stand naked.
All sorts of nice things which we thought our own, but which were really due to a good digestion, will fall off some of us: all sorts of nasty things which were due to complexes or bad health will fall off others. We shall then, for the first time, see every one as he really was.
There will be surprises.”
