A letter to send to your leaders if you disagree with Bishops interviewing 8-11 year olds

[I Dont Know...]

Interesting I have 5 kids 12 grandchildren in church, countless extended family, maybe 100, not sure how many friends. Never heard of an issue.

Then by all means, discount the experiences of anyone else. How does that story about the 99 sheep go? Jesus says, "Hey, I've got 99 sheep here that don't seem to have an issue, so what could possibly be yours?"

I'm not discounting anything................................... I'm pointing out a balance and a bit of common sense. ................ Gee I've got one black sheep................... all sheep are black and evil............... works both ways. All I see on FF many times is people piling on a bad thing. Jumping aboard. There are lots of people saying these things but most are second, third, fourth hand.

with 17M there will be black sheep.................. not many, but some. but to throw out the baby with the bath water, to say it is bad to have counsel with children.

You do what you do, you're a parent. But, leave others alone with their knowledge as well. I have said before I have half dozen experiences with pedo's and all are lies, false inunendos, and destructive of them, in my case all are males, all accused of things they never did. But, society is jaded by stories like this to make people distrust them.

Balance is needed. and perhaps a bit of common sense and intuition. Got a strange person around, better protect your family, got normal people, better do it quietly that throwing dirt everywhere.

...yeah, nah...sorry...but completely dismissive and rather demeaning...I know you don't intend to be but your problem is you extrapolate on something you know very little if anything about...it sort of removes credibility in my opinion...

[Ado]

...I was manager of a pedofile unit in a New Zealand prison. It housed the worst offenders in the country...I also managed some of the most frightening violent sexual predators...I categorised the most dangerous offenders in all of the prison population as number 1-pedofiles, 2 serial violent rapists, 3 serial killers...all of these are narcissists and in some cases there are some shared cross habits...this categorisation is based on my own professional and personal experience.

Why pedofile number 1?...because they are undetectable...they are your best friend...they never present themselves as anything other than trustworthy...they are master groomers...but the damage they cause is not restricted to sexual predation...they infiltrate every aspect of your life...this makes them incredibly dangerous and manipulative...their reign of terror causes whole families and communities to lose faith in God, love and forgiveness...often leading to soul destroying behaviours for victims, their families and their communities, that become intergenerational...

...while managing these types of people I realised why I categorised pedofiles this way...if a pedofile remains undetected their destructive force over the years...is exponential...it removes hope and destroys life promoting behaviours in families, communities, societies...and without intervention...nations are destroyed...

...my wife and I never let our children out of our sight unless it was to go to their grandparents or our most trusted family members...they did not get to go to their friends house to stay over...

...our children now have their own children. My daughter has thanked her mother and I that we did not allow her as a child to be placed in anything other than a safe and loving environment...she does the same now...

Wow. Chills. Your personal testimony protected your own children, and that is proving to be an intergenerational blessing for your posterity as they continue to protect their own. Praise God for opening your eyes to that reality of evil. More eyes need to be opened. It's truth and we have the blood of the innocent on our hands if we don't proclaim it.

[I Dont Know...]

...actually...my wife and I attribute the way we raised our children to our extended family who always made us feel safe, long before I became a prison manager...the LDS Church also helped because most of the people in it are good people...

...the difficulty each of us may have is we are raising our children blind...not through any fault on our part, because its virtually impossible to detect a pedofile...they could be your neighbour or even a president...

[I Dont Know...]

...I was manager of a pedofile unit in a New Zealand prison. It housed the worst offenders in the country...I also managed some of the most frightening violent sexual predators...I categorised the most dangerous offenders in all of the prison population as number 1-pedofiles, 2 serial violent rapists, 3 serial killers...all of these are narcissists and in some cases there are some shared cross habits...this categorisation is based on my own professional and personal experience.

Why pedofile number 1?...because they are undetectable...they are your best friend...they never present themselves as anything other than trustworthy...they are master groomers...but the damage they cause is not restricted to sexual predation...they infiltrate every aspect of your life...this makes them incredibly dangerous and manipulative...their reign of terror causes whole families and communities to lose faith in God, love and forgiveness...often leading to soul destroying behaviours for victims, their families and their communities, that become intergenerational...

...while managing these types of people I realised why I categorised pedofiles this way...if a pedofile remains undetected their destructive force over the years...is exponential...it removes hope and destroys life promoting behaviours in families, communities, societies...and without intervention...nations are destroyed...

...my wife and I never let our children out of our sight unless it was to go to their grandparents or our most trusted family members...they did not get to go to their friends house to stay over...

...our children now have their own children. My daughter has thanked her mother and I that we did not allow her as a child to be placed in anything other than a safe and loving environment...she does the same now...

Wow. Chills. Your personal testimony protected your own children, and that is proving to be an intergenerational blessing for your posterity as they continue to protect their own. Praise God for opening your eyes to that reality of evil. More eyes need to be opened. It's truth and we have the blood of the innocent on our hands if we don't proclaim it.

...oh, sorry...I'm not trying to paint a picture of despair...I trust many people and I don't live my life with the light on at night and all the doors and windows locked...I love life, my wife, my family...and people...I simply choose to trust God...my instincts...and the Holy Spirit...

[Ado]

...I was manager of a pedofile unit in a New Zealand prison. It housed the worst offenders in the country...I also managed some of the most frightening violent sexual predators...I categorised the most dangerous offenders in all of the prison population as number 1-pedofiles, 2 serial violent rapists, 3 serial killers...all of these are narcissists and in some cases there are some shared cross habits...this categorisation is based on my own professional and personal experience.

Why pedofile number 1?...because they are undetectable...they are your best friend...they never present themselves as anything other than trustworthy...they are master groomers...but the damage they cause is not restricted to sexual predation...they infiltrate every aspect of your life...this makes them incredibly dangerous and manipulative...their reign of terror causes whole families and communities to lose faith in God, love and forgiveness...often leading to soul destroying behaviours for victims, their families and their communities, that become intergenerational...

...while managing these types of people I realised why I categorised pedofiles this way...if a pedofile remains undetected their destructive force over the years...is exponential...it removes hope and destroys life promoting behaviours in families, communities, societies...and without intervention...nations are destroyed...

...my wife and I never let our children out of our sight unless it was to go to their grandparents or our most trusted family members...they did not get to go to their friends house to stay over...

...our children now have their own children. My daughter has thanked her mother and I that we did not allow her as a child to be placed in anything other than a safe and loving environment...she does the same now...

Wow. Chills. Your personal testimony protected your own children, and that is proving to be an intergenerational blessing for your posterity as they continue to protect their own. Praise God for opening your eyes to that reality of evil. More eyes need to be opened. It's truth and we have the blood of the innocent on our hands if we don't proclaim it.

...oh, sorry...I'm not trying to paint a picture of despair...I trust many people and I don't live my life with the light on at night and all the doors and windows locked...I love life, my wife, my family...and people...I simply choose to trust God...my instincts...and the Holy Spirit...

Great points. Boundaries are healthy, not scary.

[I Dont Know...]

Interesting I have 5 kids 12 grandchildren in church, countless extended family, maybe 100, not sure how many friends. Never heard of an issue.

Then by all means, discount the experiences of anyone else. How does that story about the 99 sheep go? Jesus says, "Hey, I've got 99 sheep here that don't seem to have an issue, so what could possibly be yours?"

I'm not discounting anything................................... I'm pointing out a balance and a bit of common sense. ................ Gee I've got one black sheep................... all sheep are black and evil............... works both ways. All I see on FF many times is people piling on a bad thing. Jumping aboard. There are lots of people saying these things but most are second, third, fourth hand.

with 17M there will be black sheep.................. not many, but some. but to throw out the baby with the bath water, to say it is bad to have counsel with children.

You do what you do, you're a parent. But, leave others alone with their knowledge as well. I have said before I have half dozen experiences with pedo's and all are lies, false inunendos, and destructive of them, in my case all are males, all accused of things they never did. But, society is jaded by stories like this to make people distrust them.

Balance is needed. and perhaps a bit of common sense and intuition. Got a strange person around, better protect your family, got normal people, better do it quietly that throwing dirt everywhere.

...hey Duke...you sort of put your foot in your mouth on this one...your testimony is that you have had a handful of experiences with pedofiles who were found to be...not pedofiles. At this point I would have gracefully bowed out!...retracted my mistake...because that's all it is my friend...a simple mistake. We all make mistakes...your a good man and this simple mistake does not make the slightest dent in your character and personal integrity...just thought I would say...I appreciate you brother...keep on trucking!...love you brother...

[I Dont Know...]

...I was manager of a pedofile unit in a New Zealand prison. It housed the worst offenders in the country...I also managed some of the most frightening violent sexual predators...I categorised the most dangerous offenders in all of the prison population as number 1-pedofiles, 2 serial violent rapists, 3 serial killers...all of these are narcissists and in some cases there are some shared cross habits...this categorisation is based on my own professional and personal experience.

Why pedofile number 1?...because they are undetectable...they are your best friend...they never present themselves as anything other than trustworthy...they are master groomers...but the damage they cause is not restricted to sexual predation...they infiltrate every aspect of your life...this makes them incredibly dangerous and manipulative...their reign of terror causes whole families and communities to lose faith in God, love and forgiveness...often leading to soul destroying behaviours for victims, their families and their communities, that become intergenerational...

...while managing these types of people I realised why I categorised pedofiles this way...if a pedofile remains undetected their destructive force over the years...is exponential...it removes hope and destroys life promoting behaviours in families, communities, societies...and without intervention...nations are destroyed...

...my wife and I never let our children out of our sight unless it was to go to their grandparents or our most trusted family members...they did not get to go to their friends house to stay over...

...our children now have their own children. My daughter has thanked her mother and I that we did not allow her as a child to be placed in anything other than a safe and loving environment...she does the same now...

Wow. Chills. Your personal testimony protected your own children, and that is proving to be an intergenerational blessing for your posterity as they continue to protect their own. Praise God for opening your eyes to that reality of evil. More eyes need to be opened. It's truth and we have the blood of the innocent on our hands if we don't proclaim it.

...your absolutely right...if it wasn't for Gods inspiration and intervention in my life...I could so easily have overlooked my responsibilities as a parent to protect my children...as I look back over the years, my wife and I could so easily have been picked off by an unseen foe. But the Lord protected my wife and I and our family...How?...he placed me in a family environment where I was able to learn not only how to trust...but, in what to trust. Many a time when our children asked us if I can go to this friends place or that friends place, I was prompted to say no. Not because we did not trust their friends family, because in all cases we had a close friendship with all of our children's friends parents...

...But my wife and I took it seriously never to compromise our responsibility as parents, while also being respectful not to place any other parent at risk of allegations of any kind arising...

...this trust in God, coupled with experiences dealing with crime, the court system, incarceration and rehabilitation, I believe, placed me in a perfect position to understand the very mind of evil...

...because God has lead me on this journey...I have seen and heard things no person should be subjected to...as a result I am quick to recognise evil - with flesh, or without!

...when God is our king there is peace...even if we make monumental and at times destructive errors of judgement...God is there with His arms extended, He will have mercy not sacrifice...He lifts the broken...the weary...the down hearted...and down trodden...He willingly picks each of us up when we are down...

If we are lucky, we may be able to avoid trials that we may unwittingly allow into our lives, if our focus is on God...your righteous decisions have implications far beyond this mortality...God is restoring you to your promise He made with you.

...there are many types of affliction as we all know...if God (Jehovah) is our king...He promises to go before you and be in your rearward to protect you...if, however we fall into despair...He will lift us up and deliver peace...

[Mamabear]

The amount of inappropriate discussions between bishops and minors is mind boggling. When a church condones this behavior it is no longer a church.

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comme ... hop_after/

“What questions were you asked by the bishop after breaking the law of chastity?

I confessed I had sex to the bishop and he asked such strange questions about positions, and how fast and did I like it and where did he touch you? Did anyone else get asked questions like this?”

This is one example of many. I have a story as well but I won’t share because it’s private.
These questions need to stop. Yesterday.

[p8riot]

When I turned 12, I remember being so excited for my first meeting with my bishop as a brand new beehive/young woman, thinking it would be a special message about how loved I was, and how precious I was as a daughter of God. Instead, he sat knee to knee with me and asked me to explain the law of chastity. I got it mixed up with the word of wisdom, which immediately upset him. He went on a rant about how I should easily have been able to answer his question, and that my mom neglected to educate me. He asked me if I masterbated, and when I acted confused, he explained to me what it meant to masterbate. Then he asked me to explain it back to him so that he knew I understood. And then again, he asked me if I masterbated. I left that meeting feeling confused and stupid. I'm still traumatized by that memory, and I was 12 years old. Children and youth should be off limits in one-on-one interviews with adults other than their own parents. Period.

Had a bishop growing up that would always ask about that. It was creepy. All the young men talked about how it seemed to be his focus in interviews. If abuse allegations ever come out about him, it would be no surprise.