I grow weary

[Momma J]

The following in no way pertains to my beautiful husband and very supportive family...

My heart is breaking, and my soul is crushed. The lack of empathy of those around me is becoming too much. I am openly ridiculed when I help people who have fallen. I ignore that laughter from those who see the struggle and point fingers or take pictures.

But, the burden of helping others while being mocked.... It is becoming too heavy.

I have been given a gift to be able to see the pains of others.... it hurts deeply.

This past week an elderly man, whom I was helping, touched my cheek and told me that he loved me... Those who witnessed this beautiful moment mocked us. They laughed at his fumbling...

I am struggling.... Tears are constantly on the verge of falling.

I am angry and struggling to abstain from lashing out.

I am stepping away for a while to fast and pray. There are good people in the world... I know this.

I love each and every one of you with all of my heart...

Please pray with me... for me. I do not want to lose the gift again... But I need strength right now to see past the uglies.

[tribrac]

Some people are too good for this world.

[Atrasado]

It's hard because the world can't see, and we have willingly become part of the world. Pray for your enemies and give them grace. They are immature and they don't know how to deal with feelings. Maybe they'll learn someday.

[Cruiserdude]

The following in no way pertains to my beautiful husband and very supportive family...

My heart is breaking, and my soul is crushed. The lack of empathy of those around me is becoming too much. I am openly ridiculed when I help people who have fallen. I ignore that laughter from those who see the struggle and point fingers or take pictures.

But, the burden of helping others while being mocked.... It is becoming too heavy.

I have been given a gift to be able to see the pains of others.... it hurts deeply.

This past week an elderly man, whom I was helping, touched my cheek and told me that he loved me... Those who witnessed this beautiful moment mocked us. They laughed at his fumbling...

I am struggling.... Tears are constantly on the verge of falling.

I am angry and struggling to abstain from lashing out.

I am stepping away for a while to fast and pray. There are good people in the world... I know this.

I love each and every one of you with all of my heart...

Please pray with me... for me. I do not want to lose the gift again... But I need strength right now to see past the uglies.

The Lord gave us a perfect example of how to deal with these things. I love thinking of Him and His life and His example and how He dealt with the world.

Keep the faith Momma J! You're not alone in regard to these kinds of things! Keeping my focus on Him makes dealing with the world much easier for me

[SimpleSaint]

Take heart in knowing that God sees all and knows all. I also kind of understand how you feel trying to help others and no one seems to care or recognize it as such. Jesus had the same problem. Helping people by healing them on the Sabbath took on a load of criticism from the religious leaders. Showing love and forgiving a man's sin and helping him walk didn't jive well with others either. People want to see what they want to see. Continue to show your love despite what others choose to focus on. The world needs your love more than anything else right now. Lifting you up in prayer my friend!

[Juliet]

I am glad you helped that man and helped relieve his suffering. There are times I wish I had a person like you around. There are different types of riches and love is that alchemical gold that everyone wants but no one ever finds. Some people chase their whole life over wealth and fame and riches and after getting it realizing that they still don't have what they want and need. It has been on my heart a lot this week to seek the Kingdom of God and then everything else will be added. Because if you don't have that Kingdom of God nothing else will matter. I have experienced too that sometimes I experience people behaving a certain way toward me that really hurts as if they had a specific look into my psychology to see how to rub salt into my wounds. I once had a friend give me good advice. She said, if I have people calling me a whore, and I know I am not a whore, then why is it bothering me? It only bothers me if something about what they are saying is hitting home, because I believe it is true in some way. That doesn't mean it's true, it just means there is some memory where it feels like it's true.

I think it may come from being blamed and accepting that blame. So that could be a pattern... feeling responsible for other people's crap can make it hurt worse when people try to put their crap on you. And this often begins with the parents, where your parents don't respect your boundaries as a developing person and you become enmeshed, not seeing that they are separate people who have their own issues that are not your fault.

This is a simple exercise I got from the book "Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw. I like to imagine the hot potato, when someone tries to blame me, even if it comes from parents, you have to give the hot potato back to them. Their crap is theirs, not yours, and when you don't feel responsible for it in anyway, then it's easier to just shake it off and accept that they will have to become responsible at some point, but it's not your job to feel sorry for them or to allow them to make you carry their hot potato.

[Momma J]

Thank you all.... before I slip away, I want to share a note that was left on my desk a bit ago...

[FrankOne]

A few years ago, I worked a short while in a service mgmt position, dealing with the public. One elderly gentlemen that had accomplished much in his life had become somewhat feeble of mind, but still able to drive etc. He and his wife came in and as I dealt with him , I could see that others around him and others that worked at my location showed disrespect for him due to his weakness of old age. He was a great man in my estimation and I loved him. As we became friends through multiple interactions of his visits at my work, we were talking of spiritual things and we both felt the spirit, ...tears came to his eyes and he gave me a strong hug while others looked on as if he was a mad man and I was somehow caught up in his delusion.

Since I do not have the degree of feeling as Momma does, I simply looked everyone with a look that let them know that they had no idea of what had just happened. .....because they didn't.

the far majority of the world does not understand what is real . I view them as curious animals that one might find at the zoo.

[MikeMaillet]

It sounds like you might be related to my wife, if not in blood then certainly in spirit. It seems that those who love the most are the ones that also hurt the most. You seem to espouse charity which is the pure love of Christ. I will happily pray with and for you.

Mike

[logonbump]

The following in no way pertains to my beautiful husband and very supportive family...

My heart is breaking, and my soul is crushed. The lack of empathy of those around me is becoming too much. I am openly ridiculed when I help people who have fallen. I ignore that laughter from those who see the struggle and point fingers or take pictures.

But, the burden of helping others while being mocked.... It is becoming too heavy.

I have been given a gift to be able to see the pains of others.... it hurts deeply.

This past week an elderly man, whom I was helping, touched my cheek and told me that he loved me... Those who witnessed this beautiful moment mocked us. They laughed at his fumbling...

I am struggling.... Tears are constantly on the verge of falling.

I am angry and struggling to abstain from lashing out.

I am stepping away for a while to fast and pray. There are good people in the world... I know this.

I love each and every one of you with all of my heart...

Please pray with me... for me. I do not want to lose the gift again... But I need strength right now to see past the uglies.

Matthew 6
1 Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
5. And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

[logonbump]

Matthew 6
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
16 Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
17 But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; 18 That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.

[Original_Intent]

1. A poor wayfaring Man of grief

Hath often crossed me on my way,

Who sued so humbly for relief

That I could never answer nay.

I had not pow’r to ask his name,

Whereto he went, or whence he came;

Yet there was something in his eye

That won my love; I knew not why.


2. Once, when my scanty meal was spread,

He entered; not a word he spake,

Just perishing for want of bread.

I gave him all; he blessed it, brake,

And ate, but gave me part again.

Mine was an angel’s portion then,

For while I fed with eager haste,

The crust was manna to my taste.


3. I spied him where a fountain burst

Clear from the rock; his strength was gone.

The heedless water mocked his thirst;

He heard it, saw it hurrying on.

I ran and raised the suff’rer up;

Thrice from the stream he drained my cup,

Dipped and returned it running o’er;

I drank and never thirsted more.


4. ’Twas night; the floods were out; it blew

A winter hurricane aloof.

I heard his voice abroad and flew

To bid him welcome to my roof.

I warmed and clothed and cheered my guest

And laid him on my couch to rest,

Then made the earth my bed and seemed

In Eden’s garden while I dreamed.


5. Stript, wounded, beaten nigh to death,

I found him by the highway side.

I roused his pulse, brought back his breath,

Revived his spirit, and supplied

Wine, oil, refreshment—he was healed.

I had myself a wound concealed,

But from that hour forgot the smart,

And peace bound up my broken heart.


6. In pris’n I saw him next, condemned

To meet a traitor’s doom at morn.

The tide of lying tongues I stemmed,

And honored him ’mid shame and scorn.

My friendship’s utmost zeal to try,

He asked if I for him would die.

The flesh was weak; my blood ran chill,

But my free spirit cried, “I will!”


7. Then in a moment to my view

The stranger started from disguise.

The tokens in his hands I knew;

The Savior stood before mine eyes.

He spake, and my poor name he named,

“Of me thou hast not been ashamed.

These deeds shall thy memorial be;

Fear not, thou didst them unto me.”

[MikeMaillet]

1. A poor wayfaring Man of grief

Hath often crossed me on my way,

Who sued so humbly for relief

That I could never answer nay.

I had not pow’r to ask his name,

Whereto he went, or whence he came;

Yet there was something in his eye

That won my love; I knew not why.


2. Once, when my scanty meal was spread,

He entered; not a word he spake,

Just perishing for want of bread.

I gave him all; he blessed it, brake,

And ate, but gave me part again.

Mine was an angel’s portion then,

For while I fed with eager haste,

The crust was manna to my taste.


3. I spied him where a fountain burst

Clear from the rock; his strength was gone.

The heedless water mocked his thirst;

He heard it, saw it hurrying on.

I ran and raised the suff’rer up;

Thrice from the stream he drained my cup,

Dipped and returned it running o’er;

I drank and never thirsted more.


4. ’Twas night; the floods were out; it blew

A winter hurricane aloof.

I heard his voice abroad and flew

To bid him welcome to my roof.

I warmed and clothed and cheered my guest

And laid him on my couch to rest,

Then made the earth my bed and seemed

In Eden’s garden while I dreamed.


5. Stript, wounded, beaten nigh to death,

I found him by the highway side.

I roused his pulse, brought back his breath,

Revived his spirit, and supplied

Wine, oil, refreshment—he was healed.

I had myself a wound concealed,

But from that hour forgot the smart,

And peace bound up my broken heart.


6. In pris’n I saw him next, condemned

To meet a traitor’s doom at morn.

The tide of lying tongues I stemmed,

And honored him ’mid shame and scorn.

My friendship’s utmost zeal to try,

He asked if I for him would die.

The flesh was weak; my blood ran chill,

But my free spirit cried, “I will!”


7. Then in a moment to my view

The stranger started from disguise.

The tokens in his hands I knew;

The Savior stood before mine eyes.

He spake, and my poor name he named,

“Of me thou hast not been ashamed.

These deeds shall thy memorial be;

Fear not, thou didst them unto me.”

I cried every time we sang that hymn.

Mike

[Peeps]

The following in no way pertains to my beautiful husband and very supportive family...

My heart is breaking, and my soul is crushed. The lack of empathy of those around me is becoming too much. I am openly ridiculed when I help people who have fallen. I ignore that laughter from those who see the struggle and point fingers or take pictures.

But, the burden of helping others while being mocked.... It is becoming too heavy.

I have been given a gift to be able to see the pains of others.... it hurts deeply.

This past week an elderly man, whom I was helping, touched my cheek and told me that he loved me... Those who witnessed this beautiful moment mocked us. They laughed at his fumbling...

I am struggling.... Tears are constantly on the verge of falling.

I am angry and struggling to abstain from lashing out.

I am stepping away for a while to fast and pray. There are good people in the world... I know this.

I love each and every one of you with all of my heart...

Please pray with me... for me. I do not want to lose the gift again... But I need strength right now to see past the uglies.

Praying that a strengthening and refreshing spirit be blown upon you, that you may stand in the armor of God described in Ephesians chapter 6, and a restoration of your soul be granted (Psalm 23), in Jesus Christ's Holy name, Amen!

[Cruiserdude]

1. A poor wayfaring Man of grief

Hath often crossed me on my way,

Who sued so humbly for relief

That I could never answer nay.

I had not pow’r to ask his name,

Whereto he went, or whence he came;

Yet there was something in his eye

That won my love; I knew not why.


2. Once, when my scanty meal was spread,

He entered; not a word he spake,

Just perishing for want of bread.

I gave him all; he blessed it, brake,

And ate, but gave me part again.

Mine was an angel’s portion then,

For while I fed with eager haste,

The crust was manna to my taste.


3. I spied him where a fountain burst

Clear from the rock; his strength was gone.

The heedless water mocked his thirst;

He heard it, saw it hurrying on.

I ran and raised the suff’rer up;

Thrice from the stream he drained my cup,

Dipped and returned it running o’er;

I drank and never thirsted more.


4. ’Twas night; the floods were out; it blew

A winter hurricane aloof.

I heard his voice abroad and flew

To bid him welcome to my roof.

I warmed and clothed and cheered my guest

And laid him on my couch to rest,

Then made the earth my bed and seemed

In Eden’s garden while I dreamed.


5. Stript, wounded, beaten nigh to death,

I found him by the highway side.

I roused his pulse, brought back his breath,

Revived his spirit, and supplied

Wine, oil, refreshment—he was healed.

I had myself a wound concealed,

But from that hour forgot the smart,

And peace bound up my broken heart.


6. In pris’n I saw him next, condemned

To meet a traitor’s doom at morn.

The tide of lying tongues I stemmed,

And honored him ’mid shame and scorn.

My friendship’s utmost zeal to try,

He asked if I for him would die.

The flesh was weak; my blood ran chill,

But my free spirit cried, “I will!”


7. Then in a moment to my view

The stranger started from disguise.

The tokens in his hands I knew;

The Savior stood before mine eyes.

He spake, and my poor name he named,

“Of me thou hast not been ashamed.

These deeds shall thy memorial be;

Fear not, thou didst them unto me.”

I cried every time we sang that hymn.

Mike

That final verse... EVERY TIME WITHOUT FAIL.
I think it's because I know in my heart how absolutely true it is. We must love our brothers and sisters here in mortal probation.

[BigT]

And great was the multitude that did enter into that strange building. And after they did enter into that building they did point the finger of scorn at me and those that were partaking of the fruit also; but we heeded them not.

[Mamabear]

Keep your chin up. You’re a blessing to others.

[Seed Starter]

The following in no way pertains to my beautiful husband and very supportive family...

My heart is breaking, and my soul is crushed. The lack of empathy of those around me is becoming too much. I am openly ridiculed when I help people who have fallen. I ignore that laughter from those who see the struggle and point fingers or take pictures.

But, the burden of helping others while being mocked.... It is becoming too heavy.

I have been given a gift to be able to see the pains of others.... it hurts deeply.

This past week an elderly man, whom I was helping, touched my cheek and told me that he loved me... Those who witnessed this beautiful moment mocked us. They laughed at his fumbling...

I am struggling.... Tears are constantly on the verge of falling.

I am angry and struggling to abstain from lashing out.

I am stepping away for a while to fast and pray. There are good people in the world... I know this.

I love each and every one of you with all of my heart...

Please pray with me... for me. I do not want to lose the gift again... But I need strength right now to see past the uglies.

This world needs people like you. Keep blessing people

[Teancum1]

Thank you all.... before I slip away, I want to share a note that was left on my desk a bit ago...

Beautiful words. We all need a note like that every now and then…just to know and feel we have made a difference.

[Fred]

When people mock you as you act in love for your fellow man, they are actually mocking Jesus.
Around 40% of the entire population (a third part) were evil the day they were born. They were the third part that decided to follow Lucifer with a body. Of the remaining population, most are actually good people and are not the ones mocking you. There are, however, a certain group that for whatever reason are simply too stupid to be considered human. Your relationship with Christ or God is not dependent on anyone besides yourself. If an idiot mocks you, it is helpful to consider the source. Sometimes, if brains were gas, they would not have enough gas to drive a piss ant's motorcycle around the inside of a Cheerio. Not your fault, and you need not take offense at their stupidity. Their day is coming as is yours and both of you will be judged accordingly. Never be discouraged by acting Christlike. Just remember that if you knew as little about being Christlike as they do, you may not act as righteous as you do. So be grateful that you do know how to act Christlike. You will not be judged bad for doing good. At least not by anyone that matters. You didn't come here to impress morons. Jesus' opinion is the one that counts.

[marc]

The following in no way pertains to my beautiful husband and very supportive family...

My heart is breaking, and my soul is crushed. The lack of empathy of those around me is becoming too much. I am openly ridiculed when I help people who have fallen. I ignore that laughter from those who see the struggle and point fingers or take pictures.

But, the burden of helping others while being mocked.... It is becoming too heavy.

I have been given a gift to be able to see the pains of others.... it hurts deeply.

This past week an elderly man, whom I was helping, touched my cheek and told me that he loved me... Those who witnessed this beautiful moment mocked us. They laughed at his fumbling...

I am struggling.... Tears are constantly on the verge of falling.

I am angry and struggling to abstain from lashing out.

I am stepping away for a while to fast and pray. There are good people in the world... I know this.

I love each and every one of you with all of my heart...

Please pray with me... for me. I do not want to lose the gift again... But I need strength right now to see past the uglies.

Rejoice in your abasement and suffering. You are part of a cherished fellowship!

Philippians 3:8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death...

[honestseeker12]

I would like to add my encouragement, also. Hang in there. You do make a difference.

[Momma J]

You all are a help beyond measure and my gratitude knows no bounds. I want to share briefly with you that I am learning to forgive more fully.... those around me and myself.

For one cannot truly Love if one cannot fully Forgive.

Side note* I found out the note was from our company "crack-head" . Not the most uplifting name, but we love him just the same. He is addicted to just about everything, but has the biggest heart. I give him work around here from time to time in exchange for conversation and a hot meal.

He left the note because he heard I was having a bad day. (no idea who told him...) He also gave me a ceramic lamb this morning that he bought at the Salvation Army...

[randyps]

In facing a similar daily situation with my ex and kids being anti christian...

From my inspirational notebook:

-Moses 1:39 ...my work and my glory
-2 chronicles 20:15 ..The battle is not yours but Gods
-2 Nephi 27:21 ...I am able to do my own work

"You are not the police for Christ...just be Christlike"

[OCDMOM]

My daughter had a similar problem a guy told her to mind her own business. Mankind is your business. Ignore bad people laughing in the great and spacious building.