LDS Freedom Forum

Ok, should we start some threads about what's RIGHT with LDS men and women now that we've had the chance to blow off some steam?

I think it's only fair.

And I know some great ones on both sides, with attributes definitely worth emulating!

farmerchick wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 6:00 pm I'll Concur ...i've seen plenty of spoiled stay at home lds mothers who are never home, never cook, outfit themselves in Gucci, drive around a luxury car to meet her friends and hit the gym.....(not alot of churchwork/housework going on with these fashionistas) and live like a nasty hoarder in well landscaped huge home on the hill...meanwhile the husband is working like crazy to afford every luxury for her......some even he doesn't know about...while the spoiled wife decides to attorney shop and get a divorce because the husband said no to a newer car or some type of procedure or something else and works too much.....this seems to be a Contagion event in my stake.....then the independent divorcee who fled from an abusive husband now works two jobs and can't seem to make it..... she then looks for pity and support from the ward in her new dress for less from Ross outfit......all the while cajoling other women who they perceive to be in abusive relationships to exit them while she looks for another six figure income earner, non abusive priesthood bearer to marry... There are alot of problems with lds women for sure...lol....i guess misery needs company....the bottom line I guess would be for men to quit marrying spoiled women....find a sturdy one not a Purdy one....lol......

It is 100 % the man’s fault. The man who married her and raised her and consoles her as a bishop.

Mark 10
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Momma J wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 10:19 am

HVDC wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:19 pm

endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 9:19 pm I mean, I don't know of any, but I just thought since we live in a time of radical equality, it would only be fair to start the conversation.

Officially.

I am personally unaware of any problems.

But I've heard rumours.

Sir H

DID YOU START OR FEED ANY OF THEM?

Sir H never tells.

He just enjoys the fruits of his labours.

Sir H

my response applies to many women of many varieties but may be more applicable to LDS women? dunno.

They've been taught to oppose their husbands under the label of "equality". The word "equality" is a woke word of political correctness which masks the actual underlying action taking place which is the desire for CONTROL.

95% of women that think that their husband is a narcissist are actually just complaining that he won't let her control him.

I think that's enough said., hahahaha

Light Seeker wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 9:58 am
When we try to council the Lord by changing His model of the family structure, we are kicking against the pricks.

amazing post. I clipped it down for the sentence that I found the most striking.

I do find it interesting how there are so very few women that are bold in speaking up for the original organization of family and when they do, they STAND OUT with no apologies. My hat is off to you with the due respect.

farmerchick wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 6:00 pm I'll Concur ...i've seen plenty of spoiled stay at home lds mothers who are never home, never cook, outfit themselves in Gucci, drive around a luxury car to meet her friends and hit the gym.....(not alot of churchwork/housework going on with these fashionistas) and live like a nasty hoarder in well landscaped huge home on the hill...meanwhile the husband is working like crazy to afford every luxury for her......some even he doesn't know about...while the spoiled wife decides to attorney shop and get a divorce because the husband said no to a newer car or some type of procedure or something else and works too much.....this seems to be a Contagion event in my stake.....then the independent divorcee who fled from an abusive husband now works two jobs and can't seem to make it..... she then looks for pity and support from the ward in her new dress for less from Ross outfit......all the while cajoling other women who they perceive to be in abusive relationships to exit them while she looks for another six figure income earner, non abusive priesthood bearer to marry... There are alot of problems with lds women for sure...lol....i guess misery needs company....the bottom line I guess would be for men to quit marrying spoiled women....find a sturdy one not a Purdy one....lol......

I don’t know anyone like this.
Most people I know are struggling to make ends meet, even with both husband and wife working. I’d say almost everyone from the younger half of generation X on down have both spouses working to make ends meet.

Bronco73idi wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 6:07 pm

farmerchick wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 6:00 pm I'll Concur ...i've seen plenty of spoiled stay at home lds mothers who are never home, never cook, outfit themselves in Gucci, drive around a luxury car to meet her friends and hit the gym.....(not alot of churchwork/housework going on with these fashionistas) and live like a nasty hoarder in well landscaped huge home on the hill...meanwhile the husband is working like crazy to afford every luxury for her......some even he doesn't know about...while the spoiled wife decides to attorney shop and get a divorce because the husband said no to a newer car or some type of procedure or something else and works too much.....this seems to be a Contagion event in my stake.....then the independent divorcee who fled from an abusive husband now works two jobs and can't seem to make it..... she then looks for pity and support from the ward in her new dress for less from Ross outfit......all the while cajoling other women who they perceive to be in abusive relationships to exit them while she looks for another six figure income earner, non abusive priesthood bearer to marry... There are alot of problems with lds women for sure...lol....i guess misery needs company....the bottom line I guess would be for men to quit marrying spoiled women....find a sturdy one not a Purdy one....lol......

It is 100 % the man’s fault. The man who married her and raised her and consoles her as a bishop.

Mark 10
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Thats one way to look at it...I'd say it was HER fault for buying in to women led empowerment that destroys normal loving relationships between men and women....cuz women should cook, nurture children and husband AND clean and men should adequately provide for the family.....like the ole days....teamwork makes the dream work..

Wolfwoman wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 8:57 pm

farmerchick wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 6:00 pm I'll Concur ...i've seen plenty of spoiled stay at home lds mothers who are never home, never cook, outfit themselves in Gucci, drive around a luxury car to meet her friends and hit the gym.....(not alot of churchwork/housework going on with these fashionistas) and live like a nasty hoarder in well landscaped huge home on the hill...meanwhile the husband is working like crazy to afford every luxury for her......some even he doesn't know about...while the spoiled wife decides to attorney shop and get a divorce because the husband said no to a newer car or some type of procedure or something else and works too much.....this seems to be a Contagion event in my stake.....then the independent divorcee who fled from an abusive husband now works two jobs and can't seem to make it..... she then looks for pity and support from the ward in her new dress for less from Ross outfit......all the while cajoling other women who they perceive to be in abusive relationships to exit them while she looks for another six figure income earner, non abusive priesthood bearer to marry... There are alot of problems with lds women for sure...lol....i guess misery needs company....the bottom line I guess would be for men to quit marrying spoiled women....find a sturdy one not a Purdy one....lol......

I don’t know anyone like this.
Most people I know are struggling to make ends meet, even with both husband and wife working. I’d say almost everyone from the younger half of generation X on down have both spouses working to make ends meet.

Here in the pnw things may look a little different because many members have excellent paying professions or businesses and there are many spoiled wives....lol...alot of spoiled ex wives as well....and then there is me..and I've spoiled myself...still married though....lol

Bronco73idi wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 6:07 pm

farmerchick wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 6:00 pm I'll Concur ...i've seen plenty of spoiled stay at home lds mothers who are never home, never cook, outfit themselves in Gucci, drive around a luxury car to meet her friends and hit the gym.....(not alot of churchwork/housework going on with these fashionistas) and live like a nasty hoarder in well landscaped huge home on the hill...meanwhile the husband is working like crazy to afford every luxury for her......some even he doesn't know about...while the spoiled wife decides to attorney shop and get a divorce because the husband said no to a newer car or some type of procedure or something else and works too much.....this seems to be a Contagion event in my stake.....then the independent divorcee who fled from an abusive husband now works two jobs and can't seem to make it..... she then looks for pity and support from the ward in her new dress for less from Ross outfit......all the while cajoling other women who they perceive to be in abusive relationships to exit them while she looks for another six figure income earner, non abusive priesthood bearer to marry... There are alot of problems with lds women for sure...lol....i guess misery needs company....the bottom line I guess would be for men to quit marrying spoiled women....find a sturdy one not a Purdy one....lol......

It is 100 % the man’s fault. The man who married her and raised her and consoles her as a bishop.

Mark 10
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Ok I get it now.... Should have read this a little slower...lol....

Wolfwoman wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 8:57 pm

farmerchick wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 6:00 pm I'll Concur ...i've seen plenty of spoiled stay at home lds mothers who are never home, never cook, outfit themselves in Gucci, drive around a luxury car to meet her friends and hit the gym.....(not alot of churchwork/housework going on with these fashionistas) and live like a nasty hoarder in well landscaped huge home on the hill...meanwhile the husband is working like crazy to afford every luxury for her......some even he doesn't know about...while the spoiled wife decides to attorney shop and get a divorce because the husband said no to a newer car or some type of procedure or something else and works too much.....this seems to be a Contagion event in my stake.....then the independent divorcee who fled from an abusive husband now works two jobs and can't seem to make it..... she then looks for pity and support from the ward in her new dress for less from Ross outfit......all the while cajoling other women who they perceive to be in abusive relationships to exit them while she looks for another six figure income earner, non abusive priesthood bearer to marry... There are alot of problems with lds women for sure...lol....i guess misery needs company....the bottom line I guess would be for men to quit marrying spoiled women....find a sturdy one not a Purdy one....lol......

I don’t know anyone like this.
Most people I know are struggling to make ends meet, even with both husband and wife working. I’d say almost everyone from the younger half of generation X on down have both spouses working to make ends meet.

Have you seen the Mormon royalty on Instagram? The Wasatch valleys are filled with women who fit parts of this. Lots of women of the type described by the previous poster who wrote about muppet eyelashes as well Seriously though my wife sees how some women seem to live and it makes her question me sometimes. My wife is a good woman! See it enough and it drives desires to want more and more. Especially those damn vacation posts with hubby #3.

Edit, my wife has been a stay at home Mom helping me with a home business for 20 years and homeschooling more than a decade. She makes hot dogs sometimes but I've been present watching my kids grow up and seeing what she does. We both work hard. Every woman in my Utah neighborhood hood seems to work outside the home except for a few. The draw to get her off to a job away from our home is gathering strength. We're doing everything we can to keep the storm outside of our nest. We can make it but her working would add the extra fun stuff. When I see her looking at Mormon royalty I feel like Indiana Jones telling his girlfriend to close her eyes when they open the ark. DON'T LOOK AT THE LASHES MARION! Meanwhile the destroyer seems to be wiping out everyone around us. My wife used to keep wedding announcements but stopped when we started seeing 2 and 3rd invites from the same people. Hold on to each other if you still have someone to hold on to. I'm being dramatic but this world really is working to split couples.

Wolfwoman wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 11:50 am This seems harsh…
But apparently it’s because there’s a thread out there about what’s wrong with LDS men? Ok. I hadn’t seen that one.

This may or may not be a problem. It’s just a fact. That many LDS women are “extra”. Giving a lesson in relief society? Better have the table bedazzled with all sorts of beautiful things to look at that go along with the lesson!

Relief Society activity? It better be the best decorated, best looking thing ever, with the best food ever, and you can’t serve food out of a nasty crockpot or food warmer. You better get out a lovely white dish to serve that food out of.

I can’t keep up. I’m not good at that stuff. Maybe I have ADHD. But I really can’t. I don’t have all that stuff in my house even, nor do I have a place to store it all if I did have it. So I could never be relief society president or young women’s president. Or any of the main female roles in the church.

Ha! I’m so glad you said this! This is every woman in my ward. I’m a country girl who now lives in a city and cannot believe the pretentious, one up way they conduct themselves. And what’s up with RS ? Can’t attend anymore because every week was a mom crying about how hard her life is because she had 2 kids or her husband was too needy. I thought RS was to serve others. You know like, give relief. Not anymore.

As far as what’s wrong. It’s a cultural thing. They must only associate with other mormons, they have to be super skinny after matching the other woman with exactly 5 children, they must be in the clique, they must get into a presidency( only the cool kids allowed), they must hang out at their kids play groups( where else would you get all the good gossip). This leads to depression which leads to antidepressants. I’m a complete black sheep in my ward and the happiest person there I know. They’ve kept me career primary because I’m not a cool kid but I’m fine there. And all this before I wouldn’t wear a mask or get jabbed. Really just going for the sacrament at this point. Of course, this is just my opinion of my little ward.

We been handing out problems left and right, I maybe parroting some already spoken words. I'd like to bring some solutions.

To single women:
Not all men are horn dogs. Give that good man a second chance. Please be chaste. Spend less time on social media.

To married women:
Be kind, sweet and peaceful. Raise your childern well. Love your husband to pieces.

Any ladies already doing this:
You rock, please keep doing what you are doing.

When I see her looking at Mormon royalty I feel like Indiana Jones telling his girlfriend to close her eyes when they open the ark. DON'T LOOK AT THE LASHES MARION!

kudos for keeping it real! And in all seriousness, it’s so refreshing to hear a husband protecting!

One thing I've noticed for women in the church is they aren't caught up in the 'Bishop decides stuff' or 'Stake President decides stuff' The Primary presidency is able to draw on the powers of heaven with no interference, same with the Young Women's and RS organizations. On the men's side it's nothing but, 'I'll run that by the Bishop' or 'I'll run that by the Stake President' - Men, in the church, are given direction in everything and stepping outside that boundary means being labeled and never called into leadership. Women are praised as successful when they step outside the boundary and get things done despite Bishops who are non-responsive, or through lack of communication would kill things for the women. Somehow us men just require that authoritative structure.

endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 6:03 pm Ok, should we start some threads about what's RIGHT with LDS men and women now that we've had the chance to blow off some steam?

I think it's only fair.

And I know some great ones on both sides, with attributes definitely worth emulating!

The general standards of active LDS men and women tend to be higher than the average with some exceptions. It's rare to meet women who don't spend their lives getting tanked every weekend. The stsndards have slipped within my time but that's another matter.

endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 9:19 pm I mean, I don't know of any, but I just thought since we live in a time of radical equality, it would only be fair to start the conversation.

I noticed that a lot of them love to share every detail of their “perfect” lives on social media. Their vacations, dates, food, kids, exercise routines, bodies, hair, makeup, etc.
it goes with the whole mommy Mormon blogger era.
Even Christmas letters that contain family achievements for the year (business ventures, callings, school, etc). One person I know that does this…..all of her kids are grown but she has one teen left and still sends out that achievement Christmas letter describing her and her hubby’s achievements as well as their grown kids lives. Really odd.

zionssuburb wrote: ↑March 24th, 2023, 11:17 am One thing I've noticed for women in the church is they aren't caught up in the 'Bishop decides stuff' or 'Stake President decides stuff' The Primary presidency is able to draw on the powers of heaven with no interference, same with the Young Women's and RS organizations. On the men's side it's nothing but, 'I'll run that by the Bishop' or 'I'll run that by the Stake President' - Men, in the church, are given direction in everything and stepping outside that boundary means being labeled and never called into leadership. Women are praised as successful when they step outside the boundary and get things done despite Bishops who are non-responsive, or through lack of communication would kill things for the women. Somehow us men just require that authoritative structure.

Some of us don't ask permission anymore.

Mamabear wrote: ↑March 24th, 2023, 2:06 pm

endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 9:19 pm I mean, I don't know of any, but I just thought since we live in a time of radical equality, it would only be fair to start the conversation.

I noticed that a lot of them love to share every detail of their “perfect” lives on social media. Their vacations, dates, food, kids, exercise routines, bodies, hair, makeup, etc.
it goes with the whole mommy Mormon blogger era.
Even Christmas letters that contain family achievements for the year (business ventures, callings, school, etc). One person I know that does this…..all of her kids are grown but she has one teen left and still sends out that achievement Christmas letter describing her and her hubby’s achievements as well as their grown kids lives. Really odd.

yah, I just shake my head. I honestly don't understand that ^ way of living, I can't comprehend what motivates it.

I guess perfection has it's price since Utah is the #1 user per/capita of anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. (or was several years ago, I didn't look up current numbers)

endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:31 pm

HVDC wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:28 pm

endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:20 pm Not a peep, eh?

Well, I guess we've identified one of "The Problems w LDS Culture" then, haven't we?

I don't blame y'all. No one wants to be the first to touch the Third Rail.

A rather shocking experience, I've heard.

EDIT: Sir H was posting at the very time I was! Leave it to a knight to bravely ride into battle when no one else will. Well done, Sir H. Well done!

He showed up.

Loudly declared the Queens proclamation.

Threw down the gauntlet.

Boldly circled the question.

Claimed the Queens favor.

And galloped away!

As all brave knights do in these perilous times.

Sir H

Ok, I'll start, then.

One problem I've observed with LDS women is that they think they will somehow drag their husbands to heaven with them by ignoring their familial duties while slavishly trying to keep up with the unreasonable demands of an institutionally abusive organization that has no boundaries it won't cross in terms of the amount of time, energy, or attention it will demand from its willing victims.

I mean, I'm no knight in shining armor

But I do have an opinion about such things.

Who's next?

I think the issue, as with most things, can be complex and varies from situation to situation.

Here is my personal experience. When I was married to my ex, I was working 2 jobs, both of which I despised with a passion. I would average 12-14 hours daily working. When you are quoting this verse daily, you know your job(s) suck:

Psalms 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

What was my ex doing during this time? Apparently, she was slaving away all day doing the "real" work according to her. What was really going on though? Keep in mind, that this is from my perspective and from what my children can recall.

The typical day would consist of my ex spending the majority of her day on My Space talking with friends & family (I found out later that she was also flirting which led to an affair, a whole other story). According to my children, they were fending for themselves the majority of the time. They tease me about living off of Ramen and cereal to this day. Once in a while, my ex would cook a meal for the day these were few and far between.

My children also told me many years later, that my ex was absolutely ruthless if they got too rowdy. As "punishment" she would lock them all in a bathroom, flipping the breaker to the off position, and leave them in there all day, until right before I got home. She would then threaten them to not tell me. I didn't know this until many years later, well after my ex was out of the picture. This is how she basically handled our kids. It was rare that she would spend any time with them at all, My Space took priority over her children and husband.

When I finally did get home from work, my kids were always glad to see me and that was the highlight of my day. Sadly, that was almost always followed by my ex berating me for having to deal with our kids and all of the supposed "work" she had to endure all day. I couldn't tell, since it was a rare occasion that any actual work was ever done. Typically, there was a pile of dishes on the table, sink, and counters. The wash looked like it had been piling up for a week, the bathrooms were not clean, and so forth. Guess who ended up cleaning all of this up the majority of the time?

In my personal opinion, my ex was a lazy, and abusive woman who had no business raising kids or being in a relationship, at the time she was irresponsible and toxic. I haven't kept in touch, so who knows if this has changed.

Now, after she abandoned our kids' things actually changed for the better in some ways. The reality is that I was doing my best to juggle working full-time and raising kids as a single father the best that I could manage. So, that gives me personal experience on both fronts.

In my opinion and experience, staying at home cooking, cleaning, and raising children was more enjoyable, easier, and more rewarding than working any of my jobs. Of course, I wasn't meticulous about cooking and cleaning either. I tended to not fret over deep cleaning and trying to keep everything spotless, rather I just did enough to get the job done. With cooking, I focused on finding simple meals to prep and taught my kids how to cook a few basic meals too.

Now that my children are all adults, they seem to be doing great all things considered. Each of them has their own issues that they are working through, the majority of it being the abuse that they had to endure. They are grateful to me for how I raised them, although they point out where I should have been a bit more strict with them. You can never get the balancing act right as a parent though, it's all about trial and error. I think they all turned out fine though, and I thank God every day for that.

I can see if someone has major OCD, how cooking and cleaning could turn into a very unenjoyable and tedious experience. This could also be an issue when a parent wants to get too involved in every aspect of their child's life, causing a lot of friction for both parents and the children.

Being a good parent is all about finding the right balance, and constantly adjusting. Too far one way or the other, and it can be an issue. We all do the best we can though.

The issue is that "women" (in the broad sweeping generality only) have convinced men that they have the harder role in the relationship and do more work, which I firmly disagree with. I do believe that one can choose to make it more difficult than it ought to be.

Over the years, I have known too many men that slave away at 2-3 jobs that they despise, only to go home to do even more chores while their wives complain that they are doing most of the work. Some of these women are just like my "ex", they have found a way of shaming and guilting men into doing more than their fair share, while they spend most of their day indulging in what they enjoy (Soap operas, gossipping, reading romance novels, Social Media, and so forth).

Somehow things have been flipped around. The definition of a "strong woman" has been redefined. When I was growing up, my mother was a role model for me of what a strong woman was, and I believe in what it ought to be.
The role model that she set for me is that she was patient but firm with my siblings and me. She taught us the value of working hard and took the time to teach us how to cook, do our own wash, do chores, do proper cleaning, and so forth. Both she and my father believed that we should learn how to take care of ourselves, they did not separate the chores and cooking by common gender roles. We were raised with the skills that we could take care of ourselves, without being dependent on someone else to do it for us.

My mother took pride in having a clean house and provided 3 square home-cooked meals a day. At the appropriate ages, we were expected to contribute as we were able to. My mother never complained and set an example to me at an early age of what humility is. Looking back now, I can see that my mother loved her family and that it was out of this act of love that shone through everything she did.

My mother always worked as a team with my father, even when it was obvious she disagreed. This showed me that my mother was submissive as the Bible instructs that women should submit to their husbands. Just as husbands are to submit to God.

My mother was always what I would call "classy" when it came to how she presented herself. I am sure that it would have been much easier for her to just throw on whatever was convenient, but she took the time and effort to always look her best. Compare that to the young kids I see nowadays going to the store in their pajamas.

To me, this is and always will be an example of what a "strong woman" ought to be.

Somewhere along the way though, this has been grotesquely twisted by TPTB. I assume that one of the underlying reasons for this is to cause division between men and women and/or husband and wife. What better way to do this, than to create a wedge between them?

Nowadays, here are some common traits that a "strong woman" supposedly has. A strong woman is no longer a "slave" to the kitchen to providing her husband with a home-cooked meal, that is beneath her, her husband should be cooking for her instead. She doesn't depend on anyone else and doesn't need help from anyone else. She does what she wants, such as getting a corporate job to show her husband how strong she is. Never mind, that they are now both working, and they have kids raising themselves, or being raised by a nanny. She dresses and eats what she wants and feels like. That means dressing like a slob, dying your hair hot pink so that you look like a carnival freak, weighing over 300+ lbs and your husband better not say a word. She doesn't let the opinions of others influence her (the opposite of being submissive). Some believe that they should be the "Alpha" in the relationship, aka wear the pants. This has also been strongly influenced by the "feminism" movement that seems hell-bent on creating a permanent wedge between men and women being happy together.

Of course, this can vary from one individual to the next. This can vary from one relationship to the next and can go from one extreme to the other. In one relationship a wife may be doing almost everything while the husband is the lazy one taking advantage of her good nature, and on the other extreme vice versa. This can get very nuanced, and there is a range of opinions on all of this.

As for myself going forward, I plan on doing my best on following Christ and looking for a woman that is on the same path. The Bible tells us that we ought to be evenly yoked, this is good advice.

Here's a short trailer that I find particularly insightful about how TPTB are always finding issues to divide us through gender, race, religion, and so forth.

RosyPosy wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:59 pm

endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:53 pm

RosyPosy wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:50 pm I'm single as a pringle so I'll give my perspective.

Single LDS women spend alot of time in their hamster wheels. Chasing the guy's that they perceive as a good priesthood holders and gives them the "warm and fuzzies", but those guys won't commit. The rest of the 80% of men are in the friendzone to be used as emotional tampons.

Vivid imagery, Rosy Posy.

Vivid imagery, indeed.

It's all from person observation. I seen plenty of what I thought were good LDS girls go after the rebellious smoker.

In my opinion, this is being heavily influenced by modern tv & movies. You see it everywhere, the "good girl" falls head over heels for the "bad boy" and reforms him, and they live happily ever after. In reality, this is a great way to end up getting divorced.

LadyT wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 11:35 pm

Erastothenes wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:45 pm

endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:31 pm

Ok, I'll start, then.

One problem I've observed with LDS women is that they think they will somehow drag their husbands to heaven with them by ignoring their familial duties while slavishly trying to keep up with the unreasonable demands of an institutionally abusive organization that has no boundaries it won't cross in terms of the amount of time, energy, or attention it will demand from its willing victims.

I mean, I'm no knight in shining armor

But I do have an opinion about such things.

Who's next?

Absolutely! LDS women have failed to understand what part of their job is. It may sound chauvinistic to some but as a husband I don't want to work all day and come home to hotdogs. If your going to complain about how busy you are then please, let's switch places. I will stay at home and take care of these things while you go work 8-12 hours a day. Then come home and mow the lawn, take little Bobby to practice etc.

Do you think moms or wives do nothing all day? That's adorable.

You must not have any idea of the work it takes to run a house and take care of kids. There is never a time off when you are a stay at home mom.

I know exactly what it takes to run a house and take care of kids as a Single Dad, along with working up to 60 hours a week, managing & juggling it all the best I could. Even with all of that, I was able to find some time off from time to time. It all boils down to our choices, and what we value.

If you have the problem of never having any "time off" I'd start to ask why. Are you being too detailed about cooking and cleaning? Are you being too involved in your kids' lives? Are your kids not taking on enough responsibility for their ages?

Somewhere in all of this, an individual is either making choices to not have any time off or justifying that one has no time off. Either way, each of us is ultimately involved in how we choose to use our time. Some people have certain values that keep them busy from dusk till dawn, and they are fine with that, other people use this as an excuse.

mudflap wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 7:47 am

The Problem w LDS Women

....is that very few of them want to stay home and raise a family.

I looked high and low for one that actually wanted to raise kids, bake cookies, sew clothes, and be there when the kids came home from school - and I found NONE in Utah. I had to move across the country to find one.

As EQP, my (now-ex) wife challenged me and said she should be able to get a job (even though my income was plenty) because "all the other women in the ward have jobs..." I couldn't believe her, so as I visited with families in the ward, I asked about their personal lives and found out that
every
woman
in
the
entire
ward
had
a
job!

All of them. And very few of them NEEDED the income. One sister told me she had a master's degree that she hadn't used since she got married, but she worked at a shoe store at the mall because of the great discounts on shoes, and also "to get away from my kids".

yup. kids are harder than a master's degree. It takes a gem of a woman to work in that direction.

Gems are rare, but shouldn't be in the Church. Shame on us.

Yep. Funny you should mention this. One of my sons told me that he is most likely going to have to date outside of the country to find a good wife with proper religious and family values. Evidently, there is a whole movement of men dating outside of the US for this same reason.

You know that we are screwed as a country when most men getting dates are learning from pick-up artists how to get a woman's attention. Yet other countries teach their young women that family comes first. SMH