Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 8:45 am
Absolutely, i thought about copying and pasting that same comment in the other thread about lds men
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The Problem w LDS Women
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Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 8:52 am
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 8:56 am
The flipside of the obesity coin is that a lot of LDS women are anorexic. Lindsey Stirling is the most famous example, and she's spoken out about her struggles with it. One of my friends in the church said that nearly all the women he dated in it had eating disorders, with a lot of them being on the skinny side.
I think the trouble is that at a lot of LDS socials there are starchy carbohydrates: potatoes, pizza, quiche, doughnuts etc etc. Those stick to me like nobody's business.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 8:57 am
I had that reaction from a younger woman in her 20s (not a mother). She just stopped the conversation as if there was nothing left to talk about. (We were getting along til that point).gradles21 wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 8:40 amLDS mothers working outside the home isn't a new thing, I'm in my mid 30's and growing up all but one of my friend's mom's worked day jobs, most of us millennials in Utah were latch key kids. What's new is LDS working mothers shaming the mothers that choose to stay home. Our ward is mostly made up of couples in their 30's through 50's, and I can only think of one other mother, other than my wife, that doesn't work outside the home. I can't tell you how many times my wife has been asked by other LDS women "what do you do for work?" followed by a condescending "Oh" when she replies that she's a stay at home mom.Theveilofforgetting wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 8:15 am I think nearly every woman in my ward has a job outside the home (at least for those under 65).
I do not because I home educate and I've loved being available to my children. I know this is seen as strange (within my ward). I remember knowing a few mothers when my kids were little who stayed home even when they had teens. I had so much respect for them.
Now it seems it's looked down upon. I would say its one big change in the past 10 years. It doesn't feel that long ago that homemakers were valued in the church and mothers were encouraged to at least be home with their children for the first 5 years.
Now it's all about all the adults working 7 days a week (even Sunday because the pay is higher) to buy a house or just to make ends meet. Most YSA are still living at home. (This is true in my family too).
I do agree living costs are high but you can still live simply. My family is proof of that.
Honestly I can't see the point of having children if I don't have time or energy to be present with them. So glad I had my children when it was still seen as ok to be a full time sahm. I even noticed how my husband's view changed. He was all about me being the primary parent then by the time I had my last baby, he wanted me to work. It was not what I thought would be optimal for anyone. My husband complained if I left the house for any amount of time so he would not have supported me in that endeavour anyway. Would have been impossible for me to take on more for very little reward. What would I have done?. Childcare...of course.
The problem with LDS women? No idea. I'm one but I'm sure my issues are different to those had by sisters in my ward.
People closer to my age (even though they may have worked/be working) seem to be ok with it.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 9:58 am
Just as a reminder my husband and I share this account, but as a woman I will weigh in on this topic.
The problem with LDS women is the idea that they are missing out on life by living up to the measure of their creation; being a wife and mother. They look anywhere but to God for input on what will make them happy. They are under the impression that happiness is a person place or thing, instead of a state of being.
When we have a strong core belief and understanding of right/wrong, good/bad, true/false, we are less likely to allow others input to affect our choices. To look at LDS women today you would never see pioneer stock or strength. You will see fake Mr. Snuffleupagus eyelashes that only look natural on a Sesame Street puppet, tattooed eyeliner & eyebrows, boob jobs, yoga pants, the latest fashions. Even if they are 75+ they'll wear the "holes in the jeans" look to keep with the trends. It is pathetic.
True joy comes from doing the right thing, for the right reason, now! When we do this we don't have guilt, because we aren't trying to serve God and Mammon.
It is hard being a mom emotionally, physically, and mentally, yet this is the measure of our creation. To walk away from home and family and seek validation for tasks performed that have no impact on living up to the measure of your creation we thwart the plan for ourselves and our families. It is hard being an organized housekeeper, cook, laundress, bookkeeper, meal planner, errand runner, chauffeur, counselor, referee, gardener, canner, baker etc. Among that list of normal life duties lies the opportunity to use the gifts, talents and abilities that we each came here with, to bless the lives of our husband and children. God wants each of us to be extremely happy in this life. His plan is a plan of happiness.
When we try to council the Lord by changing His model of the family structure, we are kicking against the pricks. We like Zeniff in the Book of Mormon can feel justified in doing what we want because we feel we deserve it. We also pick up the consequences of those actions and will drag the people we love through sadness and hardship. The legacy we leave should be children who love the Lord and learned correct principles in family life, not an incredible list of work accomplishments.
I'm going to go a step further and suggest that LDS women have bought into the idea that the teaching of their children should be outside the home as well. This is a crock. We were trusted with these precious spirits and will be held accountable (the scriptures tell us) for "teaching them of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands...the sin be on the heads of the parents." D&C 68:25. This and other scriptures outline our responsibilities. By sending them to strangers whose belief system and love for our children is not the same as we provide, we are setting the child up for mixed messages and at the least confusion, at the worst not believing in Christ's teachings.
We've been "empowered" for the last 4 decades to be women who can "have it all", by the leadership in covert ways. Pres. Hinckley, Sister Kimball, and others (Beverly Campbell) in positions of authority have sold girls the idea that they need to get all the education they can in the event that they will one day be the providers for their families. The Proclamation leaves a loophole, subtle, but there that states, "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."
Other circumstances, and individual adaptation are the inroads for all justification to leave home and family and have a career. The Lord was clear about who is to provide for the family. D&C 83:2 states, "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken", D&C 83:6 "and widows and orphans shall be provided for, as also the poor", from the storehouse.
God laid out the standard to keep mothers in the home fulfilling their responsibilities.
No man can serve two masters, and Zion won't be built by people who aren't serving God.
The problem with LDS women is the idea that they are missing out on life by living up to the measure of their creation; being a wife and mother. They look anywhere but to God for input on what will make them happy. They are under the impression that happiness is a person place or thing, instead of a state of being.
When we have a strong core belief and understanding of right/wrong, good/bad, true/false, we are less likely to allow others input to affect our choices. To look at LDS women today you would never see pioneer stock or strength. You will see fake Mr. Snuffleupagus eyelashes that only look natural on a Sesame Street puppet, tattooed eyeliner & eyebrows, boob jobs, yoga pants, the latest fashions. Even if they are 75+ they'll wear the "holes in the jeans" look to keep with the trends. It is pathetic.
True joy comes from doing the right thing, for the right reason, now! When we do this we don't have guilt, because we aren't trying to serve God and Mammon.
It is hard being a mom emotionally, physically, and mentally, yet this is the measure of our creation. To walk away from home and family and seek validation for tasks performed that have no impact on living up to the measure of your creation we thwart the plan for ourselves and our families. It is hard being an organized housekeeper, cook, laundress, bookkeeper, meal planner, errand runner, chauffeur, counselor, referee, gardener, canner, baker etc. Among that list of normal life duties lies the opportunity to use the gifts, talents and abilities that we each came here with, to bless the lives of our husband and children. God wants each of us to be extremely happy in this life. His plan is a plan of happiness.
When we try to council the Lord by changing His model of the family structure, we are kicking against the pricks. We like Zeniff in the Book of Mormon can feel justified in doing what we want because we feel we deserve it. We also pick up the consequences of those actions and will drag the people we love through sadness and hardship. The legacy we leave should be children who love the Lord and learned correct principles in family life, not an incredible list of work accomplishments.
I'm going to go a step further and suggest that LDS women have bought into the idea that the teaching of their children should be outside the home as well. This is a crock. We were trusted with these precious spirits and will be held accountable (the scriptures tell us) for "teaching them of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands...the sin be on the heads of the parents." D&C 68:25. This and other scriptures outline our responsibilities. By sending them to strangers whose belief system and love for our children is not the same as we provide, we are setting the child up for mixed messages and at the least confusion, at the worst not believing in Christ's teachings.
We've been "empowered" for the last 4 decades to be women who can "have it all", by the leadership in covert ways. Pres. Hinckley, Sister Kimball, and others (Beverly Campbell) in positions of authority have sold girls the idea that they need to get all the education they can in the event that they will one day be the providers for their families. The Proclamation leaves a loophole, subtle, but there that states, "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."
Other circumstances, and individual adaptation are the inroads for all justification to leave home and family and have a career. The Lord was clear about who is to provide for the family. D&C 83:2 states, "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken", D&C 83:6 "and widows and orphans shall be provided for, as also the poor", from the storehouse.
God laid out the standard to keep mothers in the home fulfilling their responsibilities.
No man can serve two masters, and Zion won't be built by people who aren't serving God.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 10:19 am
DID YOU START OR FEED ANY OF THEM?HVDC wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:19 pmOfficially.endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 9:19 pm I mean, I don't know of any, but I just thought since we live in a time of radical equality, it would only be fair to start the conversation.
I am personally unaware of any problems.
But I've heard rumours.
Sir H
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 10:24 am
This is awesome.... I am going to borrow the "Emotional Tampon" .... and ask my husband if I can put it on his tombstone.RosyPosy wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:50 pm I'm single as a pringle so I'll give my perspective.
Single LDS women spend alot of time in their hamster wheels. Chasing the guy's that they perceive as a good priesthood holders and gives them the "warm and fuzzies", but those guys won't commit. The rest of the 80% of men are in the friendzone to be used as emotional tampons.
To which he will vehemently put his foot down.... and exclaim that he does not want any form of "tampon" near him.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 10:26 am
You didn't mention a more sinister thing acted upon by the masses, that it takes to achieve these Babylonian desires. The butchery/or preventing of our offspring.Light Seeker wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 9:58 am Just as a reminder my husband and I share this account, but as a women I will weigh in on this topic.
The problem with LDS women is the idea that they are missing out on life by living up to the measure of their creation; being a wife and mother. They look anywhere but to God for input on what will make them happy. They are under the impression that happiness is a person place or thing, instead of a state of being.
When we have a strong core belief and understanding of right/wrong, good/bad, true/false, we are less likely to allow others input to affect our choices. To look at LDS women today you would never see pioneer stock or strength. You will see fake Mr. Snuffleupagus eyelashes that only look natural on a Sesame Street puppet, tattooed eyeliner & eyebrows, boob jobs, yoga pants, the latest fashions. Even if they are 75+ they'll wear the "holes in the jeans" look to keep with the trends. It is pathetic.
True joy comes from doing the right thing, for the right reason, now! When we do this we don't have guilt, because we aren't trying to serve God and Mammon.
It is hard being a mom emotionally, physically, and mentally, yet this is the measure of our creation. To walk away from home and family and seek validation for tasks performed that have no impact on living up to the measure of your creation we thwart the plan for ourselves and our families. It is hard being an organized housekeeper, cook, laundress, bookkeeper, meal planner, errand runner, chauffeur, counselor, referee, gardener, canner, baker etc. Among that list of normal life duties lies the opportunity to use the gifts, talents and abilities that we each came here with, to bless the lives of our husband and children. God wants each of us to be extremely happy in this life. His plan is a plan of happiness.
When we try to council the Lord by changing His model of the family structure, we are kicking against the pricks. We like Zeniff in the Book of Mormon can feel justified in doing what we want because we feel we deserve it. We also pick up the consequences of those actions and will drag the people we love through sadness and hardship. The legacy we leave should be children who love the Lord and learned correct principles in family life, not an incredible list of work accomplishments.
I'm going to go a step further and suggest that LDS women have bought into the idea that the teaching of their children should be outside the home as well. This is a crock. We were trusted with these precious spirits and will be held accountable (the scriptures tell us) for "teaching them of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands...the sin be on the heads of the parents." D&C 68:25. This and other scriptures outline our responsibilities. By sending them to strangers whose belief system and love for our children is not the same as we provide, we are setting the child up for mixed messages and at the least confusion, at the worst not believing in Christ's teachings.
We've been "empowered" for the last 4 decades to be women who can "have it all", by the leadership in covert ways. Pres. Hinckley, Sister Kimball, and others (Beverly Campbell) in positions of authority have sold girls the idea that they need to get all the education they can in the event that they will one day be the providers for their families. The Proclamation leaves a loophole, subtle, but there that states, "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."
Other circumstances, and individual adaptation are the inroads for all justification to leave home and family and have a career. The Lord was clear about who is to provide for the family. D&C 83:2 states, "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken", D&C 83:6 "and widows and orphans shall be provided for, as also the poor", from the storehouse.
God laid out the standard to keep mothers in the home fulfilling their responsibilities.
No man can serve two masters, and Zion won't be built by people who aren't serving God.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 10:45 am
For those guys who think it's all doom out there.
If LDS girls want to die childless in their mansions waiting for the perfect Chad.
Or ending up giving their virginity to an old Apostle.
Let them.
This is one guy who didn't let an opportunity go to waste:
https://notthebee.com/article/this-woma ... h-six-kids
Expand your vision.
Go to Rennisase Faire.
Learn to flirt.
Even the most jaded woman wants attention.
Slay them.
Sir H
If LDS girls want to die childless in their mansions waiting for the perfect Chad.
Or ending up giving their virginity to an old Apostle.
Let them.
This is one guy who didn't let an opportunity go to waste:
https://notthebee.com/article/this-woma ... h-six-kids
Expand your vision.
Go to Rennisase Faire.
Learn to flirt.
Even the most jaded woman wants attention.
Slay them.
Sir H
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 10:47 am
Many years ago (basically pre-historic) I taught a family finance class for RS. I was a stay-at-home-mom and my husband did not make tons of money.
I was able to show what a second income could help us afford!
Then I broke down the costs of me going back to work:
A: Financially~
1) childcare
2) second car payment
3) new clothes for work
4) lunch
B: Emotionally
1) not being there to nurture my small children during their informative years
2) too tired to come home and clean the house or cook meals
3) stressed about work / family balance
4) focus switches from family to outside the home
I was able to show what a second income could help us afford!
Then I broke down the costs of me going back to work:
A: Financially~
1) childcare
2) second car payment
3) new clothes for work
4) lunch
B: Emotionally
1) not being there to nurture my small children during their informative years
2) too tired to come home and clean the house or cook meals
3) stressed about work / family balance
4) focus switches from family to outside the home
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 10:53 am
I wouldn't let my wife use them.Momma J wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 10:24 amThis is awesome.... I am going to borrow the "Emotional Tampon" .... and ask my husband if I can put it on his tombstone.RosyPosy wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:50 pm I'm single as a pringle so I'll give my perspective.
Single LDS women spend alot of time in their hamster wheels. Chasing the guy's that they perceive as a good priesthood holders and gives them the "warm and fuzzies", but those guys won't commit. The rest of the 80% of men are in the friendzone to be used as emotional tampons.
To which he will vehemently put his foot down.... and exclaim that he does not want any form of "tampon" near him.
Some things belong there.
Some things don't.
We're still married.
Sir H
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 11:24 am
No more “homemaking” meetings - now when we need that more than ever. And Sunday, I saw young women standing at the doors during Sacrament meeting. Men are physically stronger & better able to defend or protect - so that seemed illogical.Theveilofforgetting wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 8:15 am... It doesn't feel that long ago that homemakers were valued in the church and mothers were encouraged to at least be home with their children for the first 5 years.
Now it's all about all the adults working 7 days a week (even Sunday because the pay is higher) to buy a house or just to make ends meet…
I do agree living costs are high but you can still live simply. My family is proof of that…
I am all for women having fair treatment, especially right to own property etc., but the feminist movement went too far & is destroying families rather than building them up.
And I completely agree with family/parenting responsibilities being more important than the size of home, car, & a million other things.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 11:50 am
This seems harsh…
But apparently it’s because there’s a thread out there about what’s wrong with LDS men? Ok. I hadn’t seen that one.
This may or may not be a problem. It’s just a fact. That many LDS women are “extra”. Giving a lesson in relief society? Better have the table bedazzled with all sorts of beautiful things to look at that go along with the lesson!
Relief Society activity? It better be the best decorated, best looking thing ever, with the best food ever, and you can’t serve food out of a nasty crockpot or food warmer. You better get out a lovely white dish to serve that food out of.
I can’t keep up. I’m not good at that stuff. Maybe I have ADHD. But I really can’t. I don’t have all that stuff in my house even, nor do I have a place to store it all if I did have it. So I could never be relief society president or young women’s president. Or any of the main female roles in the church.
But apparently it’s because there’s a thread out there about what’s wrong with LDS men? Ok. I hadn’t seen that one.
This may or may not be a problem. It’s just a fact. That many LDS women are “extra”. Giving a lesson in relief society? Better have the table bedazzled with all sorts of beautiful things to look at that go along with the lesson!
Relief Society activity? It better be the best decorated, best looking thing ever, with the best food ever, and you can’t serve food out of a nasty crockpot or food warmer. You better get out a lovely white dish to serve that food out of.
I can’t keep up. I’m not good at that stuff. Maybe I have ADHD. But I really can’t. I don’t have all that stuff in my house even, nor do I have a place to store it all if I did have it. So I could never be relief society president or young women’s president. Or any of the main female roles in the church.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 12:33 pm
Just a couple observations, recognizing that there are exceptions to every rule.
The first observation stems from basic human nature — in this case female nature, which is essentially the same, whether a woman is LDS, or not. And that is that women crave security. And as a general rule, that means money. They want financial security, and if their husband (or other male prospects) are not capable of providing financial security sufficient to satisfy their expectations, they will seek to provide it for themselves. And, they seem to have less qualm about exhibiting their financial security (or manifestations thereof), so they are more prone to want to keep up with the Joneses, in just about every way.
On that score, there was a girl I went to elementary school with. She came from a good, salt-of-the-earth type family, with good parents. Because I no longer live in the area where I grew up, I seldom cross paths and rub shoulders with people I grew up with. But over the course of the past 20 years or so, my paths have crossed with this gal quite a few times. And every time I see her, between her clothes, her cars, her hair, and her makeup, she exudes the message “my husband has plenty of money, and he’s not afraid to let me spend it.” And, I think that is what most modern LDS women crave to do.
The second observation is based on my experiences with my mother, bless her heart, and may she rest in peace. Unfortunately, she was not blessed with much innate, natural nurturing ability, so left a little bit to be desired as a nurturer, both in her role as a mother and as a wife. But she could not possibly do enough to satisfy herself, or be impressive enough, in going the extra mile and fulfilling her Church callings, of which she had many — often at the great emotional expense of her family. It was as if she was convinced that no matter what else, she thought she could work her way to heaven by going over-the-top in her church callings and assignments (which efforts were obviously intended to wow everyone else). And I hardly think she is/was the only LDS woman who has done this.
From my perspective, obviously, LDS women do not get enough validation in their most fundamental roles, so they seek validation in other ways, including Church service, keeping up with the Joneses, manifesting their financial security, etc. It is a sad, unfortunate commentary.
The first observation stems from basic human nature — in this case female nature, which is essentially the same, whether a woman is LDS, or not. And that is that women crave security. And as a general rule, that means money. They want financial security, and if their husband (or other male prospects) are not capable of providing financial security sufficient to satisfy their expectations, they will seek to provide it for themselves. And, they seem to have less qualm about exhibiting their financial security (or manifestations thereof), so they are more prone to want to keep up with the Joneses, in just about every way.
On that score, there was a girl I went to elementary school with. She came from a good, salt-of-the-earth type family, with good parents. Because I no longer live in the area where I grew up, I seldom cross paths and rub shoulders with people I grew up with. But over the course of the past 20 years or so, my paths have crossed with this gal quite a few times. And every time I see her, between her clothes, her cars, her hair, and her makeup, she exudes the message “my husband has plenty of money, and he’s not afraid to let me spend it.” And, I think that is what most modern LDS women crave to do.
The second observation is based on my experiences with my mother, bless her heart, and may she rest in peace. Unfortunately, she was not blessed with much innate, natural nurturing ability, so left a little bit to be desired as a nurturer, both in her role as a mother and as a wife. But she could not possibly do enough to satisfy herself, or be impressive enough, in going the extra mile and fulfilling her Church callings, of which she had many — often at the great emotional expense of her family. It was as if she was convinced that no matter what else, she thought she could work her way to heaven by going over-the-top in her church callings and assignments (which efforts were obviously intended to wow everyone else). And I hardly think she is/was the only LDS woman who has done this.
From my perspective, obviously, LDS women do not get enough validation in their most fundamental roles, so they seek validation in other ways, including Church service, keeping up with the Joneses, manifesting their financial security, etc. It is a sad, unfortunate commentary.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 1:53 pm
Every comment here is spot on. I think the common denominator is insecurity.
Case in point: Went to a home making night where a fellow sister shared makeup tips. It quickly turned into a massive debate of every possible cosmetic procedure and weight manage tactic. The superficial, self consciousness tone was unrecognizable among sisters I’d never guess were so concerned with their “procedures”. It was eye opening and disturbing.
I think the opposite side of the coin is lack of self care or the martyr Mormon. Same insecurity just a different coping approach.
Case in point: Went to a home making night where a fellow sister shared makeup tips. It quickly turned into a massive debate of every possible cosmetic procedure and weight manage tactic. The superficial, self consciousness tone was unrecognizable among sisters I’d never guess were so concerned with their “procedures”. It was eye opening and disturbing.
I think the opposite side of the coin is lack of self care or the martyr Mormon. Same insecurity just a different coping approach.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 3:34 pm
This.... absolutely this.Light Seeker wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 9:58 am Just as a reminder my husband and I share this account, but as a women I will weigh in on this topic.
The problem with LDS women is the idea that they are missing out on life by living up to the measure of their creation; being a wife and mother. They look anywhere but to God for input on what will make them happy. They are under the impression that happiness is a person place or thing, instead of a state of being.
When we have a strong core belief and understanding of right/wrong, good/bad, true/false, we are less likely to allow others input to affect our choices. To look at LDS women today you would never see pioneer stock or strength. You will see fake Mr. Snuffleupagus eyelashes that only look natural on a Sesame Street puppet, tattooed eyeliner & eyebrows, boob jobs, yoga pants, the latest fashions. Even if they are 75+ they'll wear the "holes in the jeans" look to keep with the trends. It is pathetic.
True joy comes from doing the right thing, for the right reason, now! When we do this we don't have guilt, because we aren't trying to serve God and Mammon.
It is hard being a mom emotionally, physically, and mentally, yet this is the measure of our creation. To walk away from home and family and seek validation for tasks performed that have no impact on living up to the measure of your creation we thwart the plan for ourselves and our families. It is hard being an organized housekeeper, cook, laundress, bookkeeper, meal planner, errand runner, chauffeur, counselor, referee, gardener, canner, baker etc. Among that list of normal life duties lies the opportunity to use the gifts, talents and abilities that we each came here with, to bless the lives of our husband and children. God wants each of us to be extremely happy in this life. His plan is a plan of happiness.
When we try to council the Lord by changing His model of the family structure, we are kicking against the pricks. We like Zeniff in the Book of Mormon can feel justified in doing what we want because we feel we deserve it. We also pick up the consequences of those actions and will drag the people we love through sadness and hardship. The legacy we leave should be children who love the Lord and learned correct principles in family life, not an incredible list of work accomplishments.
I'm going to go a step further and suggest that LDS women have bought into the idea that the teaching of their children should be outside the home as well. This is a crock. We were trusted with these precious spirits and will be held accountable (the scriptures tell us) for "teaching them of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands...the sin be on the heads of the parents." D&C 68:25. This and other scriptures outline our responsibilities. By sending them to strangers whose belief system and love for our children is not the same as we provide, we are setting the child up for mixed messages and at the least confusion, at the worst not believing in Christ's teachings.
We've been "empowered" for the last 4 decades to be women who can "have it all", by the leadership in covert ways. Pres. Hinckley, Sister Kimball, and others (Beverly Campbell) in positions of authority have sold girls the idea that they need to get all the education they can in the event that they will one day be the providers for their families. The Proclamation leaves a loophole, subtle, but there that states, "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."
Other circumstances, and individual adaptation are the inroads for all justification to leave home and family and have a career. The Lord was clear about who is to provide for the family. D&C 83:2 states, "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken", D&C 83:6 "and widows and orphans shall be provided for, as also the poor", from the storehouse.
God laid out the standard to keep mothers in the home fulfilling their responsibilities.
No man can serve two masters, and Zion won't be built by people who aren't serving God.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 3:52 pm
.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 4:23 pm
If the husbands priorities is to have a nice well cooked meal and the wife's priorities is to give him a hotdog when he gets home b/c she is "busy". Well she is really saying a whole bunch to her husband . . which is . . . I'm too "busy" to ensure that your needs are at the top of my list.LadyT wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 11:35 pmDo you think moms or wives do nothing all day? That's adorable.Erastothenes wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:45 pmAbsolutely! LDS women have failed to understand what part of their job is. It may sound chauvinistic to some but as a husband I don't want to work all day and come home to hotdogs. If your going to complain about how busy you are then please, let's switch places. I will stay at home and take care of these things while you go work 8-12 hours a day. Then come home and mow the lawn, take little Bobby to practice etc.endlessQuestions wrote: ↑March 21st, 2023, 10:31 pm
Ok, I'll start, then.
One problem I've observed with LDS women is that they think they will somehow drag their husbands to heaven with them by ignoring their familial duties while slavishly trying to keep up with the unreasonable demands of an institutionally abusive organization that has no boundaries it won't cross in terms of the amount of time, energy, or attention it will demand from its willing victims.
I mean, I'm no knight in shining armor
But I do have an opinion about such things.
Who's next?
You must not have any idea of the work it takes to run a house and take care of kids. There is never a time off when you are a stay at home mom.
I can easily reverse this between wives and husbands. Marriage is about negotiation.
i.e.:
as a husband these things are the highest priority of things I need from a wife.
as a wife these things are the highest priority of things I need from a husband.
Husband and wife negotiate on how to best fulfill the highest priority things of the other spouse.
Anytime a spouse is too "busy" to fulfill the highest priority of the other spouse . . .well that's a marriage that is already in a whole heap of trouble. The only time something should (and must) interfere with that is children under the age of roughly 18 months.
And that's the biggest problem with women these days (and maybe it's a problem with men too), but a good portion of women these days set the house, the kids, the xyz above their husband.
The biggest problem with men these days is that they refuse to grow up. Play video games or play/watch sportsball all the time, do porn . . . etc. etc. etc. If I were a 20 something woman I wouldn't want to marry another 20 year old male who spends his time wasting it on frivolous pursuits or detrimental pursuits . . .that's not someone I could follow.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 4:41 pm
Weak men and left handed leaders using it to their advantage.
I may have to my personal friends “that’s because you are your wife’s (female dog)!”
Happy wife happy life is just as much as a sin as happy husband happy life.
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.“
I may have to my personal friends “that’s because you are your wife’s (female dog)!”
Happy wife happy life is just as much as a sin as happy husband happy life.
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.“
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 4:44 pm
Maybe it's more correctly stated 'happy spouse, happy house'?Bronco73idi wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 4:41 pm Weak men and left handed leaders using it to their advantage.
I may have to my personal friends “that’s because you are your wife’s (female dog)!”
Happy wife happy life is just as much as a sin as happy husband happy life.
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.“
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 5:07 pm
Made me think of this old song...
Probably doesn't apply these days, but there was a time, way back when.
Probably doesn't apply these days, but there was a time, way back when.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 5:19 pm
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 5:32 pm
I couldn't understand those guys well enough to get the whole story without listening to it multiple times.
So, here are the lyrics:
So, here are the lyrics:
The song is a work of art, often highly relevant, and sometimes quite apropos.I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake
And there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl
Looking any better than you did
And all the kids at school
They were wishing they were me that night
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Thought it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Ain't no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Baby doncha hear my heart
You got it drowning out the radio
I've been waiting so long
For you to come along and have some fun
And I gotta let you know
No you're never gonna regret it
So open up your eyes I got a big surprise
It'll feel all right
Well I wanna make your motor run
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
Paradise by the dashboard light
You got to do what you can
And let Mother Nature do the rest
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely
We're gonna go all the way tonight
We're gonna go all the way
And tonight's the night...
We're gonna go all the way tonight
We're gonna go all the way
And tonight's the night...
OK, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here,
Two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth,
There's the windup, and there it is, a line shot up the middle,
Look at him go. This boy can really fly! He's rounding first and really
Turning it on now, he's not letting up at all, he's gonna try for
Second; the ball is bobbled out in center, and here comes the
Throw, and what a throw! He's gonna slide in head first, here he
Comes, he's out! No, wait, safe-safe at second base, this kid
Really makes things happen out there. Batter steps up to the
Plate, here's the pitch-he's going, and what a jump he's got,
He's trying for third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt-safe at
Third! Holy cow, stolen base! He's taking a pretty big lead out
There, almost daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher
Glances over, winds up, and it's bunted, bunted down the third
Base line, the suicide squeeze is on! Here he comes, squeeze
Play, it's gonna be close, holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!
Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
Do you need me!?
Will you never leave me!?
Will you make me happy for the rest of my life!?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife!?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning
I gotta know right now
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Do you love me?
And will you love me forever?
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Will you love me forever?
Let me sleep on it
Will you love me forever!
I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time,
So I can end my time with you!
It was long ago and it was far away
And it was so much better that it is today
It never felt so good
It never felt so right
And we were glowing like
A metal on the edge of a knife
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 5:47 pm
So glad you chipped in, LS. A very well thought out post.Light Seeker wrote: ↑March 22nd, 2023, 9:58 am Just as a reminder my husband and I share this account, but as a women I will weigh in on this topic.
The problem with LDS women is the idea that they are missing out on life by living up to the measure of their creation; being a wife and mother. They look anywhere but to God for input on what will make them happy. They are under the impression that happiness is a person place or thing, instead of a state of being.
When we have a strong core belief and understanding of right/wrong, good/bad, true/false, we are less likely to allow others input to affect our choices. To look at LDS women today you would never see pioneer stock or strength. You will see fake Mr. Snuffleupagus eyelashes that only look natural on a Sesame Street puppet, tattooed eyeliner & eyebrows, boob jobs, yoga pants, the latest fashions. Even if they are 75+ they'll wear the "holes in the jeans" look to keep with the trends. It is pathetic.
True joy comes from doing the right thing, for the right reason, now! When we do this we don't have guilt, because we aren't trying to serve God and Mammon.
It is hard being a mom emotionally, physically, and mentally, yet this is the measure of our creation. To walk away from home and family and seek validation for tasks performed that have no impact on living up to the measure of your creation we thwart the plan for ourselves and our families. It is hard being an organized housekeeper, cook, laundress, bookkeeper, meal planner, errand runner, chauffeur, counselor, referee, gardener, canner, baker etc. Among that list of normal life duties lies the opportunity to use the gifts, talents and abilities that we each came here with, to bless the lives of our husband and children. God wants each of us to be extremely happy in this life. His plan is a plan of happiness.
When we try to council the Lord by changing His model of the family structure, we are kicking against the pricks. We like Zeniff in the Book of Mormon can feel justified in doing what we want because we feel we deserve it. We also pick up the consequences of those actions and will drag the people we love through sadness and hardship. The legacy we leave should be children who love the Lord and learned correct principles in family life, not an incredible list of work accomplishments.
I'm going to go a step further and suggest that LDS women have bought into the idea that the teaching of their children should be outside the home as well. This is a crock. We were trusted with these precious spirits and will be held accountable (the scriptures tell us) for "teaching them of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands...the sin be on the heads of the parents." D&C 68:25. This and other scriptures outline our responsibilities. By sending them to strangers whose belief system and love for our children is not the same as we provide, we are setting the child up for mixed messages and at the least confusion, at the worst not believing in Christ's teachings.
We've been "empowered" for the last 4 decades to be women who can "have it all", by the leadership in covert ways. Pres. Hinckley, Sister Kimball, and others (Beverly Campbell) in positions of authority have sold girls the idea that they need to get all the education they can in the event that they will one day be the providers for their families. The Proclamation leaves a loophole, subtle, but there that states, "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."
Other circumstances, and individual adaptation are the inroads for all justification to leave home and family and have a career. The Lord was clear about who is to provide for the family. D&C 83:2 states, "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken", D&C 83:6 "and widows and orphans shall be provided for, as also the poor", from the storehouse.
God laid out the standard to keep mothers in the home fulfilling their responsibilities.
No man can serve two masters, and Zion won't be built by people who aren't serving God.
Re: The Problem w LDS Women
Posted: March 22nd, 2023, 6:00 pm
I'll Concur ...i've seen plenty of spoiled stay at home lds mothers who are never home, never cook, outfit themselves in Gucci, drive around a luxury car to meet her friends and hit the gym.....(not alot of churchwork/housework going on with these fashionistas) and live like a nasty hoarder in well landscaped huge home on the hill...meanwhile the husband is working like crazy to afford every luxury for her......some even he doesn't know about...while the spoiled wife decides to attorney shop and get a divorce because the husband said no to a newer car or some type of procedure or something else and works too much.....this seems to be a Contagion event in my stake.....then the independent divorcee who fled from an abusive husband now works two jobs and can't seem to make it..... she then looks for pity and support from the ward in her new dress for less from Ross outfit......all the while cajoling other women who they perceive to be in abusive relationships to exit them while she looks for another six figure income earner, non abusive priesthood bearer to marry... There are alot of problems with lds women for sure...lol....i guess misery needs company....the bottom line I guess would be for men to quit marrying spoiled women....find a sturdy one not a Purdy one....lol......