What blessings have you seen since quitting church?

[Mamabear]

My thoughts after reading yours on this thread:

Sleeping. Without. Garments. (Daytime too)

Foxmamma, I read years ago that soap taken internally (administered by upset moms) was detrimental, so I used hot sauce. After a couple of tries with this, the kid grabbed the Tabasco and just glugged it down, laughing.

Re: Wine and coffee. There are many reasons why Utah is #1 or near that in depression, suicides and antidepressant use. I don't know, but a little wine and coffee can certainly perk up the day... Also, since I'm realizing how cult-like this corp is, I have taken these *radical* steps to distance myself from it. Dude, it specifically says, "...not by commandment or constraint..." And this kept us out of the temple?

We prayed to be led, including led to people with similar priorities and experiences. Lo and behold!

Friend!!!! Love all of this! Yes yes yes!
You made me lol! Sleeping and being awake without wearing garments is remarkable.
I want to say more about them but I’ll be good and shut my mouth.

[HereWeGo]

Yep it was soap. I made him take a bite of a bar. (He got to spit and rinse.)

This happened to me once. My mom used to call me and my brothers "Son of a b's" quite often. When I was 15 and she called me that, I made the mistake of telling her "Mom, if I am a son of a b, then that makes you a b*tch." Soap in the mouth and I almost threw up.

I didn't try to educate her again.

[Reluctant Watchman]

^^^

[FoxMammaWisdom]

Yep it was soap. I made him take a bite of a bar. (He got to spit and rinse.)

This happened to me once. My mom used to call me and my brothers "Son of a b's" quite often. When I was 15 and she called me that, I made the mistake of telling her "Mom, if I am a son of a b, then that makes you a b*tch." Soap in the mouth and I almost threw up.

I didn't try to educate her again.

[Wolfwoman]

I haven’t quit church, but I can imagine I would definitely be wealthier if I did.

I’ve had tastes of coffee, beer and wine. They all taste disgusting, so I will continue to abstain, except I would be willing to choke down some wine for the sacrament, and when Jesus comes again I’d be willing to choke some down for him too.

I get it! Some are an acquired taste.
Have you ever tried Moscato? It’s one of the sweeter wines. Very delicious.

I had a sweet wine once. It was definitely more doable than the more bitter ones!

[OldGlory]

Yep it was soap. I made him take a bite of a bar. (He got to spit and rinse.)

This happened to me once. My mom used to call me and my brothers "Son of a b's" quite often. When I was 15 and she called me that, I made the mistake of telling her "Mom, if I am a son of a b, then that makes you a b*tch." Soap in the mouth and I almost threw up.

I didn't try to educate her again.

That’s hilarious!!

[HereWeGo]

We prayed to be led, including led to people with similar priorities and experiences. Lo and behold!

I am curious to hear your story. PM me if you would like.

[Fight for the right]

I’ll go first:
I’m wealthier
Mentally Healthier
(I tried to rhyme the rest, but couldn’t).
Stronger bond in my marriage.
No guilt about not measuring up.
Self care
Self love
More reliance on God, not men.
Less worry and concern in my soul for others who don’t “keep the commandments”
More love to give.

Oh and another perk? and .

"Funny" how so many run towards and . I don't get it. Do they add to spiritual growth?

Alcohol is empty, unhealthy, and will drain your "wealthier" blessing. And take care with the caffeine and don't drink it too late it will disrupt your circadian rhythm and therefore hormones as well. Thankfully I dislike the taste of coffee.

I can only speak for myself but I drank coffee quite heavily for the past seven years because of my 12-hour continental shifts. I retired from work at the end of December and my caffeine intake has decreased significantly. I'm slowly getting back to a regular schedule wherein I'm up early and back to bed early. It took me a while to notice the detrimental effects of constant heavy use but after a while you cannot escape the fact that you are angry and irritable a lot of the time. I'm in a much better place now and although I drink a lot less, I still have a few cups per day.

I don't think there is an issue with drinking wine/beer in a moderate fashion but we all have our interpretation of "moderate." As with other substances it is possible to develop a bad relationship with alcohol and coffee/tea. Maybe wine bottles should carry a warning label such as, "Constant Drinking Will Lead to Constant Drinking"; Baddam Psh!

Mike

If you never drink, you will never become an alcoholic. I have seen too many descend into alcoholism. There is simply very little upside to drinking alcohol and enough risk that I would always say it is best to avoid it. But you do you.

Besides farming I'm a part time detention guard for the RCMP. Have guarded between 1500 and 2000 prisoners. All but one crime's were alcohol related. The one was dead sober, thing is he had half a million dollars worth of cocaine on his person.

[blitzinstripes]

I haven’t quit church, but I can imagine I would definitely be wealthier if I did.

I’ve had tastes of coffee, beer and wine. They all taste disgusting, so I will continue to abstain, except I would be willing to choke down some wine for the sacrament, and when Jesus comes again I’d be willing to choke some down for him too.

I get it! Some are an acquired taste.
Have you ever tried Moscato? It’s one of the sweeter wines. Very delicious.

Or a nice, cold Blue Moon.....it's a very citrusy wheat beer and the only one I really care for, but man it hits the spot. Perfect with a nice dinner or just a refresher after a long day.

[ransomme]

I’ll go first:
I’m wealthier
Mentally Healthier
(I tried to rhyme the rest, but couldn’t).
Stronger bond in my marriage.
No guilt about not measuring up.
Self care
Self love
More reliance on God, not men.
Less worry and concern in my soul for others who don’t “keep the commandments”
More love to give.

Oh and another perk? and .

The big joke about going 'inactive' or 'quitting church' was(way back when at least, prolly still the joke) that you got a 10% raise and an extra day on your weekend

The Sabbath doesn't come from Church Inc though.

Plus I heard the true sabbath is Saturday, which means none of us are truly keeping the sabbath day holy. One of satan’s many tricks.

Well, the new Sabbath should be on our Monday, as the Lord rose before dawn on Monday 17 33 AD. But then again, does it matter spiritually as long as we dedicate one day? As Christ said, “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath. For this reason, the Son of Man is lord even of the Sabbath.” - Mark 2:27-28

Last_Week_of_Christ.JPG (140.18 KiB) Viewed 513 times

3 sats and 3 nights of Jonah.JPG (175.19 KiB) Viewed 513 times

[ransomme]

I haven’t quit church, but I can imagine I would definitely be wealthier if I did.

I’ve had tastes of coffee, beer and wine. They all taste disgusting, so I will continue to abstain, except I would be willing to choke down some wine for the sacrament, and when Jesus comes again I’d be willing to choke some down for him too.

I get it! Some are an acquired taste.
Have you ever tried Moscato? It’s one of the sweeter wines. Very delicious.

I have never understood the idea of "acquired taste". Who keeps going back to something that doesn't taste good until they like it?

I do drink green teas and kombucha (which I liked from the beginning)

[RosyPosy]

I can honestly say I'm on the verge of quitting. The favoritism of Global policies, the doubtless sustaining of church leaders. Going to church just feels like my arm is being twisted. Less and less scriptural references, going to Sunday school they sometimes just talk about their lives instead of teaching. We are not supposed to just "look to Christ" we are supposed to emulate him. Endlessly I witness saints blatantly violate the WoW with their obesity.

[FreedomJess]

I feel less busy, less stressed, less expectations.
I’m not in a planned box.
I’ve grown so much spiritually and mentally.
I see others for who they are more than I ever have. I’m way less judgmental.

For the longest time, long before I was “awake” to the nefarious goings on of the church and the people who run the world, my spirit knew something was amiss on Sundays. But I thought it was just my fault… you know, maybe I wasn’t spiritual enough, I need to read my scriptures more (personal, spouse, family reading), pray more (personal, spouse, family prayers), we didn’t do family home evening enough (do they even mention that anymore?), we didn’t go to the temple enough (better go once a week instead of once a month), I wasn’t serving enough people outside of my 4 kids and husband and extended family… maybe I should do more for my ministering (such a strange name) sisters(be that ministering angel that they need… or even though it feels like an arranged marriage, and outside of the ward boundaries, I’d prob never be their friend… maybe a homemade cake instead of the standard choc chip cookies would make it extra special?)
It was always: I’m not doing enough. That must be the reason I feel a little empty. The list was never ending… so unattainable.. ALWAYS.

When we stopped going, my husband had just been released from the bishopric (the 5 years was up). I had just finished my 3rd time in life as the primary chorister (I’d love to take back all the Sundays I pounded “follow the prophet” into the squishy brains of 5 yr olds…)
For a long time I would say to my husband that the sabbath was not the day of rest that we are told it should be.
It was actually my most dreaded and tiresome day of the week. I felt guilt about that. How could “the Lord’s day” be my most despised day?! But it was… between the “commandment” of being there every Sunday, church callings, getting kids up and out the door, coming home and wanting to take a nap, but also needing to fix dinner, prepare for Monday morning, visit with extended family possibly, the day just flew by with no “rest”.

My life is so much better now. Sundays are a dream. I feel so much more spiritually “connected”. My kids are happier. Everyone has a better relationship. It’s great.

I never understood the forced gathering with people just based on your address. I like my neighbors fine… as neighbors. But worshipping together just felt forced. We aren’t on the same wave length.

The best word I have for my new life is: freedom. Truth and freedom. That’s the theme.

[NowWhat]

Jess, love what you wrote. Happy for you and yours. Question: What did you tell the neighbors? "Where have you been?" "We haven't seen you in Church in forever!" I try to parry. I don't really want to say, "I can't bear the direction the Church is going." Or, "the Brethren are leading us astray, and I can't take it anymore."

[ransomme]

I can honestly say I'm on the verge of quitting. The favoritism of Global policies, the doubtless sustaining of church leaders. Going to church just feels like my arm is being twisted. Less and less scriptural references, going to Sunday school they sometimes just talk about their lives instead of teaching. We are not supposed to just "look to Christ" we are supposed to emulate him. Endlessly I witness saints blatantly violate the WoW with their obesity.

as the saying goes, don't judge others because they sin differently than you.

[RosyPosy]

I can honestly say I'm on the verge of quitting. The favoritism of Global policies, the doubtless sustaining of church leaders. Going to church just feels like my arm is being twisted. Less and less scriptural references, going to Sunday school they sometimes just talk about their lives instead of teaching. We are not supposed to just "look to Christ" we are supposed to emulate him. Endlessly I witness saints blatantly violate the WoW with their obesity.

as the saying goes, don't judge others because they sin differently than you.

Oh nice you got me there.

Obesity is one that seems to really bother me. But I'm guilt of seeing things from just my perspective from time to time.

[Reluctant Watchman]

F Jess, love what you wrote. Happy for you and yours. Question: What did you tell the neighbors? "Where have you been?" "We haven't seen you in Church in forever!" I try to parry. I don't really want to say, "I can't bear the direction the Church is going." Or, "the Brethren are leading us astray, and I can't take it anymore."

Maybe I'm pointing out the less obvious here, but "F Jess" can be interpreted in more than one way.

[FreedomJess]

F Jess, love what you wrote. Happy for you and yours. Question: What did you tell the neighbors? "Where have you been?" "We haven't seen you in Church in forever!" I try to parry. I don't really want to say, "I can't bear the direction the Church is going." Or, "the Brethren are leading us astray, and I can't take it anymore."

You’d be surprised how nobody really asks. They are trained to not inquire because they might hear things contrary to their beliefs. People like us are like a form of literature that the handbook tells members not to entertain.

Our break away was initially covid related. I’m sure most people think that’s the reason we stopped going. It was the event that woke us up. So that’s fair. But it was just the alarm clock.
The bishop of course has texted my husband a few times. Our initial response to him was basically that we are focusing on Jesus Christ in our home. He’s left us alone. We still get invited to things.

But not a single person has asked us what’s up. I talk and wave to neighbors. There’s definitely an elephant in the room. I’m ready to answer if they ever ask. But they won’t.
My good friend was recently called to be the YW Pres and she texted me to see if I’m ready to be one of her advisors. I just said: “no. I’m good observing from afar.”
It is tricky. I don’t want to offend them. I know what it’s like on their end. I was true blue and defended the church always. Having a family of 6 just drop out is very offensive to them. I know they think we are leading our kids down the wrong path. That’s the hardest part. But I can’t unsee the things I see. I am loyal to truth.
And I’d have no problem telling them that the institution does not stand for truth.
And then if they want to know more… I’d just start with all things fake pandemic, and then I’d get into the alignment with all the bad guys on the world stage..
But maybe I’d just say: The church left me. I didn’t leave.

The irony of all this is that my whole life I’ve been taught and ready to defend truth. I always thought I’d be defending the church. Because truth and church were interchangeable. I did not see this coming. It’s been 3 years of major growing pains. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

[FreedomJess]

F Jess, love what you wrote. Happy for you and yours. Question: What did you tell the neighbors? "Where have you been?" "We haven't seen you in Church in forever!" I try to parry. I don't really want to say, "I can't bear the direction the Church is going." Or, "the Brethren are leading us astray, and I can't take it anymore."

Maybe I'm pointing out the less obvious here, but "F Jess" can be interpreted in more than one way.

[ransomme]

I can honestly say I'm on the verge of quitting. The favoritism of Global policies, the doubtless sustaining of church leaders. Going to church just feels like my arm is being twisted. Less and less scriptural references, going to Sunday school they sometimes just talk about their lives instead of teaching. We are not supposed to just "look to Christ" we are supposed to emulate him. Endlessly I witness saints blatantly violate the WoW with their obesity.

as the saying goes, don't judge others because they sin differently than you.

Oh nice you got me there.

Obesity is one that seems to really bother me. But I'm guilt of seeing things from just my perspective from time to time.

I understand, I check myself all the time.

On the topic of obesity, it's a tough one. Society is such that unhealthy good food is cheaper and easier, which leads to bad but bacteria, which leads to things like cravings, the blocking of the body's signals of satiation, they produce a bunch of other negative things, bad gut bacteria actually absorb more calories from the food one eats, it's all a vicious cycle. And we aren't taught properly about nutrition. They teach old crap that isn't accurate. Plus we have "the evil designs of men in the last days", powerful lobbies like sugar, corn, big pharma, medical professionals, etc that promote unhealthy lifestyles to the masses.

And obesity is very much an iniquity that passes from generation to generation via DNA, tradition, habits, etc.

It is a tough cycle to break. I suppose that's why charity is long-suffering, it's hard to be understanding, even compassionate when sin X disgusts us.

With love, your brother in Christ

[ransomme]

F Jess, love what you wrote. Happy for you and yours. Question: What did you tell the neighbors? "Where have you been?" "We haven't seen you in Church in forever!" I try to parry. I don't really want to say, "I can't bear the direction the Church is going." Or, "the Brethren are leading us astray, and I can't take it anymore."

You’d be surprised how nobody really asks. They are trained to not inquire because they might hear things contrary to their beliefs. People like us are like a form of literature that the handbook tells members not to entertain.

Our break away was initially covid related. I’m sure most people think that’s the reason we stopped going. It was the event that woke us up. So that’s fair. But it was just the alarm clock.
The bishop of course has texted my husband a few times. Our initial response to him was basically that we are focusing on Jesus Christ in our home. He’s left us alone. We still get invited to things.

But not a single person has asked us what’s up. I talk and wave to neighbors. There’s definitely an elephant in the room. I’m ready to answer if they ever ask. But they won’t.
My good friend was recently called to be the YW Pres and she texted me to see if I’m ready to be one of her advisors. I just said: “no. I’m good observing from afar.”
It is tricky. I don’t want to offend them. I know what it’s like on their end. I was true blue and defended the church always. Having a family of 6 just drop out is very offensive to them. I know they think we are leading our kids down the wrong path. That’s the hardest part. But I can’t unsee the things I see. I am loyal to truth.
And I’d have no problem telling them that the institution does not stand for truth.
And then if they want to know more… I’d just start with all things fake pandemic, and then I’d get into the alignment with all the bad guys on the world stage..
But maybe I’d just say: The church left me. I didn’t leave.

The irony of all this is that my whole life I’ve been taught and ready to defend truth. I always thought I’d be defending the church. Because truth and church were interchangeable. I did not see this coming. It’s been 3 years of major growing pains. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

Yeah it's interesting how the Church makes it hard to serve in the Church unless you buy in fully.

I suppose the Church would say, you can send serve, just not in leadership positions.

Too bad the Church isn't more open to a diversity of thought or belief

[tmac]

F Jess, love what you wrote. Happy for you and yours. Question: What did you tell the neighbors? "Where have you been?" "We haven't seen you in Church in forever!" I try to parry. I don't really want to say, "I can't bear the direction the Church is going." Or, "the Brethren are leading us astray, and I can't take it anymore."

You’d be surprised how nobody really asks. They are trained to not inquire because they might hear things contrary to their beliefs. People like us are like a form of literature that the handbook tells members not to entertain.

Our break away was initially covid related. I’m sure most people think that’s the reason we stopped going. It was the event that woke us up. So that’s fair. But it was just the alarm clock.
The bishop of course has texted my husband a few times. Our initial response to him was basically that we are focusing on Jesus Christ in our home. He’s left us alone. We still get invited to things.

But not a single person has asked us what’s up. I talk and wave to neighbors. There’s definitely an elephant in the room. I’m ready to answer if they ever ask. But they won’t.
My good friend was recently called to be the YW Pres and she texted me to see if I’m ready to be one of her advisors. I just said: “no. I’m good observing from afar.”
It is tricky. I don’t want to offend them. I know what it’s like on their end. I was true blue and defended the church always. Having a family of 6 just drop out is very offensive to them. I know they think we are leading our kids down the wrong path. That’s the hardest part. But I can’t unsee the things I see. I am loyal to truth.
And I’d have no problem telling them that the institution does not stand for truth.
And then if they want to know more… I’d just start with all things fake pandemic, and then I’d get into the alignment with all the bad guys on the world stage..
But maybe I’d just say: The church left me. I didn’t leave.

The irony of all this is that my whole life I’ve been taught and ready to defend truth. I always thought I’d be defending the church. Because truth and church were interchangeable. I did not see this coming. It’s been 3 years of major growing pains. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

We live in a small, rural community that is very predominantly LDS, and very proud of that. Echoing FJ’s description, It is interesting what happens when you “go inactive,” turn “apostate,” and become persona non grata in a community like that. Everybody is talking behind your back, but most people who you thought were your friends just quit talking to you. And those who do still talk to you don’t ask. It’s essentially “don’t ask, don’t tell.” It’s pretty clear that they don’t really want to know why. It’s kind of like an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, most people don’t want to know the actual details, and would probably feel threatened if they did. The speculative, salacious rumors are much more tantalizing. And, that’s got to be especially true when it involves someone who had been in the bishopric, etc. The unstated assumption is that there has to be a “worthiness” issue, and it might be contagious. I call this status moving “Beyond Mormon,” but among TBMs it is viewed and treated as a contagious apostate virus, that they generally try to avoid like a plague.

[Mamabear]

I feel less busy, less stressed, less expectations.
I’m not in a planned box.
I’ve grown so much spiritually and mentally.
I see others for who they are more than I ever have. I’m way less judgmental.

For the longest time, long before I was “awake” to the nefarious goings on of the church and the people who run the world, my spirit knew something was amiss on Sundays. But I thought it was just my fault… you know, maybe I wasn’t spiritual enough, I need to read my scriptures more (personal, spouse, family reading), pray more (personal, spouse, family prayers), we didn’t do family home evening enough (do they even mention that anymore?), we didn’t go to the temple enough (better go once a week instead of once a month), I wasn’t serving enough people outside of my 4 kids and husband and extended family… maybe I should do more for my ministering (such a strange name) sisters(be that ministering angel that they need… or even though it feels like an arranged marriage, and outside of the ward boundaries, I’d prob never be their friend… maybe a homemade cake instead of the standard choc chip cookies would make it extra special?)
It was always: I’m not doing enough. That must be the reason I feel a little empty. The list was never ending… so unattainable.. ALWAYS.

When we stopped going, my husband had just been released from the bishopric (the 5 years was up). I had just finished my 3rd time in life as the primary chorister (I’d love to take back all the Sundays I pounded “follow the prophet” into the squishy brains of 5 yr olds…)
For a long time I would say to my husband that the sabbath was not the day of rest that we are told it should be.
It was actually my most dreaded and tiresome day of the week. I felt guilt about that. How could “the Lord’s day” be my most despised day?! But it was… between the “commandment” of being there every Sunday, church callings, getting kids up and out the door, coming home and wanting to take a nap, but also needing to fix dinner, prepare for Monday morning, visit with extended family possibly, the day just flew by with no “rest”.

My life is so much better now. Sundays are a dream. I feel so much more spiritually “connected”. My kids are happier. Everyone has a better relationship. It’s great.

I never understood the forced gathering with people just based on your address. I like my neighbors fine… as neighbors. But worshipping together just felt forced. We aren’t on the same wave length.

The best word I have for my new life is: freedom. Truth and freedom. That’s the theme.

I love all of this. Glad for your extra time, freedom and taking your life back. Very relatable to many.
Mormon burnout…. it shouldn’t have to be this way. But it really boils down to the people thinking this is how they earn their way to heaven and that being busy is the way to get there.
A few months before I quit, they asked me to be seminary teacher with my husband’s assistance. (Seminary in our area is at 6:00am). We said no. It felt so good to not conform and reject the burn out syndrome.

[jpark]

F Jess, love what you wrote. Happy for you and yours. Question: What did you tell the neighbors? "Where have you been?" "We haven't seen you in Church in forever!" I try to parry. I don't really want to say, "I can't bear the direction the Church is going." Or, "the Brethren are leading us astray, and I can't take it anymore."

You’d be surprised how nobody really asks. They are trained to not inquire because they might hear things contrary to their beliefs. People like us are like a form of literature that the handbook tells members not to entertain.

That’s a really astute observation!

[CuriousThinker]

I haven't quit going to church, but I have quit buying into a lot of the things I was taught over the dozens of years I have been a member. I used to feel stressed out all the time, that I was never good enough and would never be good enough. That I would never be perfect. It was never explained to me that perfect meant complete, not that I would do everything perfectly in this life. So, from the time I was a young child I was terrified of dying because what if I died in my sins? I wouldn't be perfect like I was commanded so I was only good for the terrestrial kingdom. It burnt me out really quick and I felt guilty all the time even when I shouldn't have been. I learned over the years to stop being so judgmental over stupid stuff. I used to think that I was better than others in my heart because I took out my 2nd and 3rd pair of earrings when President Hinckley spoke about only 1 pair. I judged others on clothes, tattoos, etc. So dumb. I seriously always felt inferior yet at the same time felt superior. How stupid is that?! I don't worry about others' choices. I honor their agency and keep my mouth shut. If a thought creeps in I tell it to stop. I have learned to recognize better what pharisaical rules we have a church such as wearing white shirts, only wearing dresses for women to church, etc. I ignore things that aren't scriptural. It has brought me a lot of inner peace, but at times it frustrates me that I still hear stuff like that at church.