What blessings have you seen since quitting church?

[Reluctant Watchman]

OP: A truly honest and vibrant community of friends who love the Lord more than the approbation of man.

[Reluctant Watchman]

A much closer relationship with my wife and kids.

A deeper understanding of doctrine, or what I would say is far more doctrinal clarity.

The importance of suffering.

The need to allow people space to learn at their own pace.

The capacity to trust how God speaks to you, knowing that you are not always perfect. But that God trusts us to move forward.

[Reluctant Watchman]

I never would have discovered the Nemenhah Records. I honestly can't overstate the importance of how that helped me connect with the Lord when it would have been so incredibly easy to just toss it all out. And this subsequently increased my love for the BoM more than I could ever have imagined.

[Reluctant Watchman]

Oh, and I created a new account on LDSFF... that's been fun.

[Cruiserdude]

The big joke about going 'inactive' or 'quitting church' was(way back when at least, prolly still the joke) that you got a 10% raise and an extra day on your weekend

The Sabbath doesn't come from Church Inc though.

I think the joke was more about getting a weekend day to do whatever one felt like, not doing what church said to do on Sunday.... I guess my comment was more about people just going inactive, especially as we got wrapped up in the world and Babylon and all her spoils.(it's soooooo unfulfilling though and overrated)
And you're right, I see your point I think. Mamabear was talking about still staying in pursuit of God while letting go of the church... and my tidbit was more about letting go of God as well as the church...
Am I seeing that correctly? Is that what you were getting at?

No, I get what you were saying. I was making a broad comment because it's sad how many leave Church Inc. and God at the same time.

Oh, I got ya. Yep, I agree. And it's sad.

[FoxMammaWisdom]

Besides the sinner-coffee I am free to drink now, since I left, I've learned things I would have NEVER been able to learn in the church. That's probably the #1 thing for me. I can have experiences and learn and it literally IS between Heaven and me, and nobody is telling me I'm bad for considering a thought (well... unless I say it out loud to PEOPLE ). Heaven ALLOWS me be like a little child, and learn and figure things out and be frustrated and question EVERYTHING... we aren't allowed to do that in the church. So all the things I COULD learn, were never going to be available to me under that system. So leaving the system freed my mind and my consciousness and my soul so I can actually go learn the (very weirdo and reality shattering and nothing like we were taught..) mysteries of the kingdom. NOT what the church says, whatever is actually the truth.

[Reluctant Watchman]

Using strong language can be appropriate. Like the TBM I chatted w/ yesterday. Dude had some real issues. Just loved to talk down to me like a child and exert his male dominance. Called him an @#$#%@!. Such a tool.

[FoxMammaWisdom]

Using strong language can be appropriate. Like the TBM I chatted w/ yesterday. Dude had some real issues. Just loved to talk down to me like a child and exert his male dominance. Called him an @#$#%@!. Such a tool.

FoxMamma doesn't cuss at all since leaving the church.

Spoiler

FoxMamma is the new swear ambassador for the US, and the Aussies come to me for their country's new annual official swears now.

OK just kidding. But I no longer feel like Jesus hates me and I must go self flagellate for letting some color slip out in a high-stress situation.

I still haven't forgiven myself for making my older son eat soap for saying a swear he learned from me, when I was a Mormon Mamma.

I taught my younger non-Mormon son to swear "appropriately". He can have all the fun he wants playing a video game with his uncle for eg., but he has never once been rude and cussed at a person, or in front of other kids who have different rules.

(P.S. My older temple-recommend holding Man-Son is not uptight and hypocritical like his mom was, and he now cusses like a normal person and helps me feel like I didn't ruin him forever feeding him that soap.)

I do appreciate the blessings of the freedom of speech, since leaving the church.

[Reluctant Watchman]

Using strong language can be appropriate. Like the TBM I chatted w/ yesterday. Dude had some real issues. Just loved to talk down to me like a child and exert his male dominance. Called him an @#$#%@!. Such a tool.

FoxMamma doesn't cuss at all since leaving the church.

Spoiler

FoxMamma is the new swear ambassador for the US, and the Aussies come to me for their country's new annual official swears now.

OK just kidding. But I no longer feel like Jesus hates me and I must go self flagellate for letting some color slip out in a high-stress situation.

I still haven't forgiven myself for making my older son eat soap for saying a swear he learned from me, when I was a Mormon Mamma.

I taught my younger non-Mormon son to swear "appropriately". He can have all the fun he wants playing a video game with his uncle for eg., but he has never once been rude and cussed at a person, or in front of other kids who have different rules.

(P.S. My older temple-recommend holding Man-Son is not uptight and hypocritical like his mom was, and he now cusses like a normal person and helps me feel like I didn't ruin him forever feeding him that soap.)

I do appreciate the blessings of the freedom of speech, since leaving the church.

Probably my favorite phrase the first two years of the pandemic: “What in the hell is going on?”

I don’t swear very often, but it has taught me to not judge other people as harshly as I used to. I almost used to wear my pre-pandemic non-swearing mouth as a badge of honor. SMH.

[BuriedTartaria]

I think I've gotten closer to the truth. I think I might be able to help people close to me keep the baby while throwing out the bath water should things ever get as bad as expected.

I have a lot of loved ones that are True Blue. I mean them no harm. Maybe I'm wrong and they can help me. Maybe I'm right (or right to an extent) and I can offer them a perspective or two that might help them.

I really believe in strong communities; families, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. I don't have any interest in proving the True Blues in my life wrong. I want to love them and be loved by them and work alongside them to make my connections to them positive


Edit: For example, I work for an inspirational man, and his example has been a blessing to me. We differ on what the implications are if the Book of Mormon is true. For him, it means the LDS institution is God's church as far as I can tell. Recently he was in a stake leadership calling (he hated masks and was very vocal about it, not sure if that caused him any issues, loves America, loves freedom, cherishes his wife, awesome guy). If I have ever met any man who has had a Second Comforter-like experience, I think it would be him. If he errs in doctrine, well, he was raised with false traditions. I know I err and need to be led to farther truth as well

[Reluctant Watchman]

I think I've gotten closer to the truth. I think I might be able to help people close to me keep the baby while throwing out the bath water should things ever get as bad as expected.

I have a lot of loved ones that are True Blue. I mean them no harm. Maybe I'm wrong and they can help me. Maybe I'm right (or right to an extent) and I can offer them a perspective or two that might help them.

I really believe in strong communities; families, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. I don't have any interest in proving the True Blues in my life wrong. I want to love them and be loved by them and work alongside them to make my connections to them positive

Your last paragraph is a fascinating one to ponder. Obviously this applies on an individual basis, but I’ve pondered a lot about what it means to love someone and to want to be loved by them. How did Christ love us? He sacrificed all that he possessed for us. He taught truth. He performed miracles. He invited us to turn from sin and share light and love. He had a beautiful balance of all of these. I think that’s what we’re all trying to figure out, how to balance all of these things, and do it according to how the Spirit directs us individually. Love for one may look a little different toward one person than it does for another. Sometimes what we perceive as love can often lead to enablement.

[BuriedTartaria]

Your last paragraph is a fascinating one to ponder. Obviously this applies on an individual basis, but I’ve pondered a lot about what it means to love someone and to want to be loved by them. How did Christ love us? He sacrificed all that he possessed for us. He taught truth. He performed miracles. He invited us to turn from sin and share light and love. He had a beautiful balance of all of these. I think that’s what we’re all trying to figure out, how to balance all of these emotions.

You're right, I understand what you mean. If I love my dad, why wouldn't I explain to him spiritual truths that I care about and feel would help him come out from false doctrine? If I love my co-workers, when they refer to me as very passionate about the LDS church, why don't I correct them and tell them I'm very passionate about the Book of Mormon and I feel the LDS church is less than what it claims to be? I guess deep down it's weakness. Clearly part of it is to avoid contention but if I approached in the best way I could, I could probably avoid contention and still open up more to the people closest to me about my true feelings. I don't do that and I think weakness is the answer why.

[BringerOfJoy]

The transition away was rough, but a few months down the road I felt like THIS picture, with a caption, "Free at last, free at last, FREE AT LAST!"

https://townsquare.media/site/623/files ... w=980&q=75

That was 8.5 years ago, and I don't want you to think I'm hitting the bars every night, or took to wearing bare midriffs, short-shorts and spaghetti straps. Not my style. I still engage in worship services of some kind every Sunday. I still read my scriptures and love them. Part of it for me was that I always had social anxiety surrounding church attendance, and particularly church callings--some of which traced back to not being LDS as a child, and some of which was from trying to stuff a square peg into a round hole. Some was from the shallowness of "friendships" that I experienced as an LDS person. Some was from wanting to send me off to Relief Society on weeknights and Sundays when I already worked fulltime during the week in a job with 22 other women. Shoot me now! Much was from the absolutely overwhelming busy-ness expected from the active LDS that actually works against your spiritual development in many cases. No time for that!

[Christianlee]

Joseph Smith smoked cigars and drank beer in Nauvoo. A common sight.

I wouldn’t recommend doing either of them. I wonder if he stayed sober.

[Christianlee]

Using strong language can be appropriate. Like the TBM I chatted w/ yesterday. Dude had some real issues. Just loved to talk down to me like a child and exert his male dominance. Called him an @#$#%@!. Such a tool.

FoxMamma doesn't cuss at all since leaving the church.
k

Spoiler

FoxMamma is the new swear ambassador for the US, and the Aussies come to me for their country's new annual official swears now.

OK just kidding. But I no longer feel like Jesus hates me and I must go self flagellate for letting some color slip out in a high-stress situation.

I still haven't forgiven myself for making my older son eat soap for saying a swear he learned from me, when I was a Mormon Mamma.

I taught my younger non-Mormon son to swear "appropriately". He can have all the fun he wants playing a video game with his uncle for eg., but he has never once been rude and cussed at a person, or in front of other kids who have different rules.

(P.S. My older temple-recommend holding Man-Son is not uptight and hypocritical like his mom was, and he now cusses like a normal person and helps me feel like I didn't ruin him forever feeding him that soap.)

I do appreciate the blessings of the freedom of speech, since leaving the church.

Is your older son blind? Was it soap?

[FoxMammaWisdom]

Using strong language can be appropriate. Like the TBM I chatted w/ yesterday. Dude had some real issues. Just loved to talk down to me like a child and exert his male dominance. Called him an @#$#%@!. Such a tool.

FoxMamma doesn't cuss at all since leaving the church.
k

Spoiler

FoxMamma is the new swear ambassador for the US, and the Aussies come to me for their country's new annual official swears now.

OK just kidding. But I no longer feel like Jesus hates me and I must go self flagellate for letting some color slip out in a high-stress situation.

I still haven't forgiven myself for making my older son eat soap for saying a swear he learned from me, when I was a Mormon Mamma.

I taught my younger non-Mormon son to swear "appropriately". He can have all the fun he wants playing a video game with his uncle for eg., but he has never once been rude and cussed at a person, or in front of other kids who have different rules.

(P.S. My older temple-recommend holding Man-Son is not uptight and hypocritical like his mom was, and he now cusses like a normal person and helps me feel like I didn't ruin him forever feeding him that soap.)

I do appreciate the blessings of the freedom of speech, since leaving the church.

Is your older son blind? Was it soap?

Am I missing a joke in there somewhere? Yep it was soap. I made him take a bite of a bar. (He got to spit and rinse.)

[JandD6572]

I’ll go first:
I’m wealthier
Mentally Healthier
(I tried to rhyme the rest, but couldn’t).
Stronger bond in my marriage.
No guilt about not measuring up.
Self care
Self love
More reliance on God, not men.
Less worry and concern in my soul for others who don’t “keep the commandments”
More love to give.

Oh and another perk? and .

right there with you, with the exception of divorce. I kind of got ran out so to say. But I have never felt so free from a weight off my shoulders. I never truly believed in the church, I tried though, but my heart was never there. 57 years wasted, so many years, I dreamed of wanting to become a pastor of a church somewhere. But today, too old, and too far in debt to even be able to consider it whenever I would talk with my bishop or sp about it, you would think I was asking to run the church itself. I should have listened to my heart and inner self a long time ago. I honestly think, that my very first marriage could have been maybe saved, if I would have listened to my heart, rather than listen to the demands of the corporation.

[JandD6572]

I’ll go first:
I’m wealthier
Mentally Healthier
(I tried to rhyme the rest, but couldn’t).
Stronger bond in my marriage.
No guilt about not measuring up.
Self care
Self love
More reliance on God, not men.
Less worry and concern in my soul for others who don’t “keep the commandments”
More love to give.

Oh and another perk? and .

"Funny" how so many run towards and . I don't get it. Do they add to spiritual growth?

Alcohol is empty, unhealthy, and will drain your "wealthier" blessing. And take care with the caffeine and don't drink it too late it will disrupt your circadian rhythm and therefore hormones as well. Thankfully I dislike the taste of coffee.

They add zest. IMO
Currently, 1 cup of coffee each morning. I grew up on it from a young age. It didn’t stunt my growth, I actually grew tall quite quickly. Lol
Once I realised the WoW was a recommendation not a commandment then I went from there. Now I drink wine like Jesus did.

that a girl mamabear!! right there with you, that one principle alone, a recommendation, but later changed to a commandment, tells me that this church believes in a god that changes his mind a lot. I've enjoyed coffee off and on over the years, and now this last year, settle permetely on coffee every morning. alcohol, eh haven't been a big fan, but I do enjoy a good cold beer every once in a while. I am so at peace now, so content. as I said earlier on, 57 years wasted.

[JandD6572]

I guess I won’t ever quit, however since I stopped participating in The LDS church I’ve found more time for the family.
I would say we have less “money” since we have joined two non profit orgs and give generously of the cash.
I actually spend more time “with” my wife as we serve…..
Gospel and spiritual discussions are still a regular thing in our home.
I drink socially, one or two beers most, since drunkiness is the actual sin…we won’t be judged for what we put in our mouth, but for what comes out of it.
I miss the fact that I had to shed the family that will get militant in protecting the church, display hatred for you even….this is the most telling sign the church has bad fruit to offer….
I have not yet found a “church” to attend, but I miss having people to talk the gospel with outside my home. I talk about Christ at work whenever a window appears, but I don’t need the job.
December of 2019, you might say I was “born again”

right there with you, and you're right about the church and its militant attitudes. the messages I got from the rank and file were terrible, letting me know how I was going to hell, and I would be burned, etc. but not a peep from the leadership portion. I did find another church however, we started going to a baptist church just down the street. I feel so comfortable there, so welcome. Nothing like what I felt when going to the Mormon church. Life got so much better for me.

[JandD6572]

Besides the sinner-coffee I am free to drink now, since I left, I've learned things I would have NEVER been able to learn in the church. That's probably the #1 thing for me. I can have experiences and learn and it literally IS between Heaven and me, and nobody is telling me I'm bad for considering a thought (well... unless I say it out loud to PEOPLE ). Heaven ALLOWS me be like a little child, and learn and figure things out and be frustrated and question EVERYTHING... we aren't allowed to do that in the church. So all the things I COULD learn, were never going to be available to me under that system. So leaving the system freed my mind and my consciousness and my soul so I can actually go learn the (very weirdo and reality shattering and nothing like we were taught..) mysteries of the kingdom. NOT what the church says, whatever is actually the truth.

absolutely correct!! that is right where I am at. so much peace. no more guilt, or counseling about how much of a sinner I am, no more having to wait for permission, no more lines waiting to get to God. Wish more people could feel what most of us are finally feeling. Oh, and one other thought, no more feeling as though this is all Satan doing why we left, no more we are deceived.

[JandD6572]

Using strong language can be appropriate. Like the TBM I chatted w/ yesterday. Dude had some real issues. Just loved to talk down to me like a child and exert his male dominance. Called him an @#$#%@!. Such a tool.

FoxMamma doesn't cuss at all since leaving the church.

Spoiler

FoxMamma is the new swear ambassador for the US, and the Aussies come to me for their country's new annual official swears now.

OK just kidding. But I no longer feel like Jesus hates me and I must go self flagellate for letting some color slip out in a high-stress situation.

I still haven't forgiven myself for making my older son eat soap for saying a swear he learned from me, when I was a Mormon Mamma.

I taught my younger non-Mormon son to swear "appropriately". He can have all the fun he wants playing a video game with his uncle for eg., but he has never once been rude and cussed at a person, or in front of other kids who have different rules.

(P.S. My older temple-recommend holding Man-Son is not uptight and hypocritical like his mom was, and he now cusses like a normal person and helps me feel like I didn't ruin him forever feeding him that soap.)

I do appreciate the blessings of the freedom of speech, since leaving the church.

Probably my favorite phrase the first two years of the pandemic: “What in the hell is going on?”

I don’t swear very often, but it has taught me to not judge other people as harshly as I used to. I almost used to wear my pre-pandemic non-swearing mouth as a badge of honor. SMH.

Guess I was too much of a free spirit, I can't count the number of times, during Sunday school or priestcraft, I mean priesthood, that I used $#!%, damn and hell, quite regularly.

[JandD6572]

Joseph Smith smoked cigars and drank beer in Nauvoo. A common sight.

I wouldn’t recommend doing either of them. I wonder if he stayed sober.

I smoke cigars, vanilla flavor, and love them. I enjoy my coffee every morning, and I enjoy an occasional beer, once every 3 or 4 months maybe. and sometimes I swear like a sailor, none of these things has taken me away from christ, in fact, maybe even brought me closer.

[JandD6572]

Using strong language can be appropriate. Like the TBM I chatted w/ yesterday. Dude had some real issues. Just loved to talk down to me like a child and exert his male dominance. Called him an @#$#%@!. Such a tool.

FoxMamma doesn't cuss at all since leaving the church.
k

Spoiler

FoxMamma is the new swear ambassador for the US, and the Aussies come to me for their country's new annual official swears now.

OK just kidding. But I no longer feel like Jesus hates me and I must go self flagellate for letting some color slip out in a high-stress situation.

I still haven't forgiven myself for making my older son eat soap for saying a swear he learned from me, when I was a Mormon Mamma.

I taught my younger non-Mormon son to swear "appropriately". He can have all the fun he wants playing a video game with his uncle for eg., but he has never once been rude and cussed at a person, or in front of other kids who have different rules.

(P.S. My older temple-recommend holding Man-Son is not uptight and hypocritical like his mom was, and he now cusses like a normal person and helps me feel like I didn't ruin him forever feeding him that soap.)

I do appreciate the blessings of the freedom of speech, since leaving the church.

Is your older son blind? Was it soap?

Am I missing a joke in there somewhere? Yep it was soap. I made him take a bite of a bar. (He got to spit and rinse.)

I think they are referring to this as a joke, compared to the movie a Christmas story, where the young boy name ralphy, was forced to eat soap for swearing, then he had a dream that when he visited his parents, he was blind, and they were distraught because he told them it was the soap that made him blind.

[Niemand]

I don’t need the caffeine either. I LOVE the taste.
70 x 700 billion... Let’s go!
Also, I love you.

The only good thing about coffee is the smell of it brewing (from beans, not that nasty freeze dried instant stuff). But it doesn't smell good on someone's breath. Have smelt coffee breath a couple of times recently.

The taste isn't that great. I don't miss it. I grew up with it, and have tried numerous varieties so it is no novelty to me.

[FoxMammaWisdom]

FoxMamma doesn't cuss at all since leaving the church.
k

Spoiler

FoxMamma is the new swear ambassador for the US, and the Aussies come to me for their country's new annual official swears now.

OK just kidding. But I no longer feel like Jesus hates me and I must go self flagellate for letting some color slip out in a high-stress situation.

I still haven't forgiven myself for making my older son eat soap for saying a swear he learned from me, when I was a Mormon Mamma.

I taught my younger non-Mormon son to swear "appropriately". He can have all the fun he wants playing a video game with his uncle for eg., but he has never once been rude and cussed at a person, or in front of other kids who have different rules.

(P.S. My older temple-recommend holding Man-Son is not uptight and hypocritical like his mom was, and he now cusses like a normal person and helps me feel like I didn't ruin him forever feeding him that soap.)

I do appreciate the blessings of the freedom of speech, since leaving the church.

Is your older son blind? Was it soap?

Am I missing a joke in there somewhere? Yep it was soap. I made him take a bite of a bar. (He got to spit and rinse.)

I think they are referring to this as a joke, compared to the movie a Christmas story, where the young boy name ralphy, was forced to eat soap for swearing, then he had a dream that when he visited his parents, he was blind, and they were distraught because he told them it was the soap that made him blind.

OOOHHHkay, I remember now, thank you