Accepting Your Darkest Emotions Is the Key to Psychological Health

[The Airbender]

This was a good article. The underlying principle is that we should accept things as they are, not try to pretend they are or should be something else.


"Rumi, the 13th-century Sufi poet, famously compared emotions—“a joy, a depression, a meanness”—to “unexpected visitors.” His advice was to let them in laughing, but that’s not what we do. Instead, we pretend not to notice, or even hide. We want to bury resentment and anger, or trade loneliness in for the more fashionable gratitude.

In a cultural age that’s decidedly pro-positivity, the pressure to suppress or camouflage negative feelings is real.

However, psychological studies have shown that acceptance of those negative emotions is the more reliable route to regaining and maintaining peace of mind. Whether practiced through the lens of ancient Eastern philosophies, or in increasingly popular forms of treatment like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy, acceptance of one’s dark emotions is now backed by a body of evidence connecting the habit to better emotional resilience, and fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Acceptance, therefore, is having a moment—at least among academics. But how and why it works has been little studied, says Brett Ford, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto. Not quite a strategy, she tells Quartz, “acceptance involves not trying to change how we are feeling, but staying in touch with your feelings and taking them for what they are.” So, she asks, how can it be that accepting negative emotions is paradoxically linked to long-term psychological thriving?

A few years ago, when Ford was a doctoral student at University of California, Berkeley, she and three fellow Berkeley researchers devised a three-part study to try and find out. Their findings were just published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

According to their analyses, the magic of acceptance is in its blunting effect on emotional reactions to stressful events. It’s that mechanism that can, over time, lead to positive psychological health, including higher levels of life satisfaction. In other words, accepting dark emotions like anxiety or rage, won’t bring you down or amplify the emotional experience. Nor will it make you “happy”—at least not directly.

“You always interpret null effects very cautiously,” Ford says, “but to us, it appears that acceptance uniquely affects negative emotions, and isn’t interfering with positive emotions.”

What’s more, acceptance seems to be linked to better mental health when it’s used in response to negative emotions, not positive ones, she adds, so this is not about living in the world with a “broadly detached attitude.” No need to play it too cool.

Fortunately, acceptance works for a diverse range of people—the researchers found it’s not bound to one socioeconomic or racial group. It also appears to be effective whether people are dealing with feelings related to intense life events or minor inconveniences.

Finally, they assert, acceptance is more connected to better psychological health than other mental modes that fall under the general umbrella of “mindfulness,” such as practicing non-reactivity, for instance, or simply observing. “You need to pay attention to your internal experience,” says Ford, “but acceptance, non-judging acceptance, seems to be the key ingredient to mindfulness.”
Three Tests of Acceptance

Ford’s findings were drawn from at least one and often two parts of the three-part study.

First, researchers analyzed responses from more than 1,000 questionnaires focused on emotional regulation and psychological health sent to undergraduate students at University of California, Berkeley. Habitually accepting negative emotions was found to not only reduce feelings of ill-being (which previous studies had demonstrated), but also was more likely to lead to elevated levels of well-being.

Next, the psychologists recruited 156 people from the San Francisco Bay area for a lab experiment that subjected participants to standardized universal stressor: a public speaking task. “We had people show up and we told them, ‘By the way, you’re going to give a three-minute speech pretending you’re at a job interview and you have to talk about your verbal and written communication skills,’” Ford says. The hypothesis was that those who had been identified as more accepting of their negative mental states would report less severe negative emotions, which was proven to be true. Again, the researchers were building on the work of other psychologists, but, they also tested the robustness of the accepting method by ensuring that at least half of the selected participants had experienced a major negative experience, such as being cheated on or losing their jobs in the months before the study.

In the last study, the researchers asked 222 people of various races and socioeconomic backgrounds, this time recruited from the Denver area, to keep a diary in which they recounted the most stressful event of each day over a two-week period. Their baseline acceptance habits were measured before the diary-writing period, and their general psychological well-being was measured through standardized questionnaires six months later. Habitual acceptors, let’s call them, fared better than their peers, whether the incidents they wrote about were heavy (receiving a phone call from a son in prison, for instance) or relatively mild (minor arguments with a significant other was a common stressor.)
Resist the Urge to Strive for Happiness

Buddhist leaders often underline that “acceptance” doesn’t mean being resigned to a stressful, negative situation, especially when the situation is within your control. Accepting situations is more complex and context-dependent, says Ford. We need to accept a death, but we don’t need to endure unfair treatment from a landlord or employer, for instance, and doing so might lead to worse mental health.

Negative emotions are different, because they’re an unavoidable part of being human. “Life is wonderful from time to time, but it’s also tragic,” as Svend Brinkmann, a psychology professor at Denmark’s Aalborg University, told Quartz’s philosophy reporter Olivia Goldhill. “People die in our lives, we lose them, if we have only been accustomed to being allowed to have positive thoughts, then these realities can strike us even more intensely when they happen—and they will happen.”

The other problem with only allowing ourselves to think positively, and constantly pursuing happiness, is that it puts people in a striving state of mind, says Ford, and that is antithetical to a state of calm contentment.

Ford believes her research could help inform future mental health interventions, which currently rely on some approaches that can fail people. “When something happens and you try to reframe it like, ‘Oh it’s not of such a big deal,’ or ‘I’m going to learn and grow from that that,’ it doesn’t necessarily work,” says Ford. People tend to reject that kind of reframing when their issues are severe, too.

That said, acceptance remains mysterious in some ways. Psychologists don’t know which factors influence some people to habitually accept less-than-rosy emotions, despite cultural pressures to stay positive. It’s also unclear whether acceptance might backfire in some individuals, or if people who usually suppress their darker feelings could seamlessly make the transition without the aid of a therapist or zen teacher.

“My hunch is that it’d be a challenge,” says Ford. In the West, and in the US, especially, she says, happiness and positivity are seen as virtues. “Some companies want their customers and employees to be delighted all the time,” she says. “That’s unreasonable, and when we’re faced with unreasonable expectations, it’s natural for us to start applying judgment to the negative mental experiences that we have.”

Like other cognitive habits, however, acceptance is a skill that can be acquired. (One commonly taught tactic is to think of your emotions as passing clouds, visible but not a part of you.) And according to a study Ford co-authored in 2010, older adults use acceptance more than younger adults. Like wisdom, the trait tracks with age, so most of us will get there eventually."

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/acce ... 0_IbOak9yk

[Juliet]

You have to learn how to release them. Process them in small amounts. If you get overwhelmed, stop them and break it down into smaller pieces. Every time you feel other than peace and wholeness, it's because of the past. Even superficial joy is a mock cover up of past pain that needs to be released.

I am so glad JohnnyL (how do I link this to him?) referenced peakstates. I have been learning a lot from them. Particularly the whole hearted healing method.

https://www.peakstates.com/WHHlaypeople.html

Love your enemies. And no one is a greater enemy then the part of yourself you don't like.

[The Airbender]

You have to learn how to release them. Process them in small amounts. If you get overwhelmed, stop them and break it down into smaller pieces. Every time you feel other than peace and wholeness, it's because of the past. Even superficial joy is a mock cover up of past pain that needs to be released.

I am so glad JohnnyL (how do I link this to him?) referenced peakstates. I have been learning a lot from them. Particularly the whole hearted healing method.

https://www.peakstates.com/WHHlaypeople.html

Love your enemies. And no one is a greater enemy then the part of yourself you don't like.

I had never heard of peakstates. Thanks!

[Thinker]

... accept things as they are, not try to pretend they are or should be something else...

True! “Feelings buried alive never die” and tend to control us when they’re sub-conscious. E-motion seems to need to be expressed and when denied, may seek expression physically through dis-ease.

I wonder why this is such a common problem? Maybe as children, we were taught to not feel, and maybe we reinforce it for one another in superficial greetings “how are you”... “fine and you?” when there’s much more going on. Maybe trust is lacking - and in part it’s justified. Nobody’s perfect - only God can be 100% trusted. Processing emotions is mostly inner work. I consider “processing” because...



At times, for me, it’s felt overwhelming - like a huge knot of emotional twine. Where to start? Start with what hurts the most - and why. Putting it into words, I’ve found, to be most healing; as well as being in nature.

The greatest commandments involve loving ourselves too!
https://youtu.be/sYiM-sOC6nE

[abijah`]

this is similar to what came to my mind when reading the other thread title about what it means to actually feel life.

developing and bridling the shadow and the subconscious brings about a certain measure of internal harmony and social grace i think. just the right balance walking that thin line between chaos and security in their times and seasons.

[Thinker]

this is similar to what came to my mind when reading the other thread title about what it means to actually feel life.

developing and bridling the shadow and the subconscious brings about a certain measure of internal harmony and social grace i think. just the right balance walking that thin line between chaos and security in their times and seasons.

Well put.
Each religion has some truth and GOoD. Buddhism is considered to be similar to the approach of psychological therapy (studying the soul). Buddhism suggests

• 3 main causes of suffering:
  1) Ignorance
  2) Craving
  3) Hatred

I see truth in 2 of those but “craving” doesn’t seem completely right as a cause of suffering. A rich person is one with rich feelings - which may include desires. “Men are that they might have joy”! In one word, God is LOVE. The root word meaning of enthusiasm is “god within” or something like that. The opposite of caring/love is not hate (which is usually frustrated love) but it’s not-caring/apathy. Rather than craving, I’d say unrealistic expectations are 1 of 3 causes of suffering.

“The parent of all virtues is gratitude.” The quickest way to feel the Spirit is to zoom in and intensely focus on what you’re grateful for. There are always going to be others who have something you don’t - or seem better in some way. Life is NOT fair - sometimes to your advantage and sometimes to your disadvantage.

Going within - to see what’s there - may seem like no big deal at first. It reminds me of this painting where this guy and gal are like happily skipping through hell...



Humor is essential when you’re going through something tough. Scriptures refer to the WORD - and there are various ways to interpret it, but maybe just as it is... to turn chaos into order. Emotions feel chaotic and often monstrous - but when I put them into words, it deflates their hot air, so to speak. We have the gift of imagination which we use for, or against, ourselves. When it is against us, and we feel horrible, putting it into words can help rein it in with God’s help - and weakness can become strength.

[The Airbender]

... accept things as they are, not try to pretend they are or should be something else...

True! “Feelings buried alive never die” and tend to control us when they’re sub-conscious. E-motion seems to need to be expressed and when denied, may seek expression physically through dis-ease.

I wonder why this is such a common problem? Maybe as children, we were taught to not feel, and maybe we reinforce it for one another in superficial greetings “how are you”... “fine and you?” when there’s much more going on. Maybe trust is lacking - and in part it’s justified. Nobody’s perfect - only God can be 100% trusted. Processing emotions is mostly inner work. I consider “processing” because...



At times, for me, it’s felt overwhelming - like a huge knot of emotional twine. Where to start? Start with what hurts the most - and why. Putting it into words, I’ve found, to be most healing; as well as being in nature.

The greatest commandments involve loving ourselves too!
https://youtu.be/sYiM-sOC6nE

I've learned that in order to move past trauma, or emotions I have held onto, I have to feel them. Or someone else has to feel them. They have to be felt, processed, then they can move on and be released.

"Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know..." I think that is a much truer problem than we would like to admit. Most are raised to control their emotions, to not show how they really feel. It's been beautiful to be able to process my childhood, ha... ha.....

I've found I can physically locate some of the emotions I haven't dealt with. In my gut I found a very tender, large ball of tissue. I began massaging it to break it up and had crazy dreams and a rollercoaster of emotions for several days as a result. But I feel better and lighter after.

[JohnnyL]

EFT helps. Peak States has now suggested that for most problems, it is faster and easier to use EFT than WHH (just use the whole thing, especially the ending part that's usually left off). WHH is similar to Silvia Hartmann's EmoTrance Process. For going much faster, muscle testing can find the feelings so you can use something (EFT, WHH, Emotion Code) to get rid of them.

[Thinker]

... accept things as they are, not try to pretend they are or should be something else...

True! “Feelings buried alive never die” and tend to control us when they’re sub-conscious. E-motion seems to need to be expressed and when denied, may seek expression physically through dis-ease.

I wonder why this is such a common problem? Maybe as children, we were taught to not feel, and maybe we reinforce it for one another in superficial greetings “how are you”... “fine and you?” when there’s much more going on. Maybe trust is lacking - and in part it’s justified. Nobody’s perfect - only God can be 100% trusted. Processing emotions is mostly inner work. I consider “processing” because...



At times, for me, it’s felt overwhelming - like a huge knot of emotional twine. Where to start? Start with what hurts the most - and why. Putting it into words, I’ve found, to be most healing; as well as being in nature.

The greatest commandments involve loving ourselves too!
https://youtu.be/sYiM-sOC6nE

I've learned that in order to move past trauma, or emotions I have held onto, I have to feel them. Or someone else has to feel them. They have to be felt, processed, then they can move on and be released.

"Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know..." I think that is a much truer problem than we would like to admit. Most are raised to control their emotions, to not show how they really feel. It's been beautiful to be able to process my childhood, ha... ha.....

I've found I can physically locate some of the emotions I haven't dealt with. In my gut I found a very tender, large ball of tissue. I began massaging it to break it up and had crazy dreams and a rollercoaster of emotions for several days as a result. But I feel better and lighter after.

I believe it! Mind and body affect each other!
(Btw, I may have shared this before, but in case there’s interest...
http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/health ... gTopCVlDv4)

Ha ha - I wouldn’t call it “beautiful” to process some of my childhood, but maybe I’m missing the beauty of it. It’s been painful - partly because some issues persist - with parents, siblings & picking a spouse who embodies so many of my childhood issues for another chance to process them. Yippee!

As far as my spiritual journey, “I took the road less traveled and now I’m lost” - kind of. I think I’m in some type of “dark night of the soul,” depression &/or being around people putting me down. Probably a mix. Not exactly a walk or skip in the park.

[Thinker]

EFT helps. Peak States has now suggested that for most problems, it is faster and easier to use EFT than WHH (just use the whole thing, especially the ending part that's usually left off). WHH is similar to Silvia Hartmann's EmoTrance Process. For going much faster, muscle testing can find the feelings so you can use something (EFT, WHH, Emotion Code) to get rid of them.

I don’t know. I looked into it and tried it a bit - but it seems like it works based on placebo (as most healing arts do, except acupuncture etc). While I honor the power of faith, I also see the need for working through thoughts - figuring out subconscious beliefs, correcting thinking distortions and healing life traps. No short cuts to that just like there are no shortcuts to healthy diet, sleep and exercise.

Some seem to think you can buy anything with money...

• “EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES (EFT)
  PROFESSIONAL SKILLS 1
  Class Begins February 10, 2020
  Early Bird Tuition Price - $397 ($50 savings)
  Register before January 20th, 2020 to get this special early bird price!

http://skepdic.com/eft.html

[The Airbender]

... accept things as they are, not try to pretend they are or should be something else...

True! “Feelings buried alive never die” and tend to control us when they’re sub-conscious. E-motion seems to need to be expressed and when denied, may seek expression physically through dis-ease.

I wonder why this is such a common problem? Maybe as children, we were taught to not feel, and maybe we reinforce it for one another in superficial greetings “how are you”... “fine and you?” when there’s much more going on. Maybe trust is lacking - and in part it’s justified. Nobody’s perfect - only God can be 100% trusted. Processing emotions is mostly inner work. I consider “processing” because...



At times, for me, it’s felt overwhelming - like a huge knot of emotional twine. Where to start? Start with what hurts the most - and why. Putting it into words, I’ve found, to be most healing; as well as being in nature.

The greatest commandments involve loving ourselves too!
https://youtu.be/sYiM-sOC6nE

I've learned that in order to move past trauma, or emotions I have held onto, I have to feel them. Or someone else has to feel them. They have to be felt, processed, then they can move on and be released.

"Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know..." I think that is a much truer problem than we would like to admit. Most are raised to control their emotions, to not show how they really feel. It's been beautiful to be able to process my childhood, ha... ha.....

I've found I can physically locate some of the emotions I haven't dealt with. In my gut I found a very tender, large ball of tissue. I began massaging it to break it up and had crazy dreams and a rollercoaster of emotions for several days as a result. But I feel better and lighter after.

I believe it! Mind and body affect each other!
(Btw, I may have shared this before, but in case there’s interest...
http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/health ... gTopCVlDv4)

Ha ha - I wouldn’t call it “beautiful” to process some of my childhood, but maybe I’m missing the beauty of it. It’s been painful - partly because some issues persist - with parents, siblings & picking a spouse who embodies so many of my childhood issues for another chance to process them. Yippee!

As far as my spiritual journey, “I took the road less traveled and now I’m lost” - kind of. I think I’m in some type of “dark night of the soul,” depression &/or being around people putting me down. Probably a mix. Not exactly a walk or skip in the park.

At least we know all these things shall work together for our good

[Thinker]

At least we know all these things shall work together for our good

“... to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

[simpleton]

This was a good article. The underlying principle is that we should accept things as they are, not try to pretend they are or should be something else.


"Rumi, the 13th-century Sufi poet, famously compared emotions—“a joy, a depression, a meanness”—to “unexpected visitors.” His advice was to let them in laughing, but that’s not what we do. Instead, we pretend not to notice, or even hide. We want to bury resentment and anger, or trade loneliness in for the more fashionable gratitude.

In a cultural age that’s decidedly pro-positivity, the pressure to suppress or camouflage negative feelings is real.

However, psychological studies have shown that acceptance of those negative emotions is the more reliable route to regaining and maintaining peace of mind. Whether practiced through the lens of ancient Eastern philosophies, or in increasingly popular forms of treatment like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy, acceptance of one’s dark emotions is now backed by a body of evidence connecting the habit to better emotional resilience, and fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Acceptance, therefore, is having a moment—at least among academics. But how and why it works has been little studied, says Brett Ford, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto. Not quite a strategy, she tells Quartz, “acceptance involves not trying to change how we are feeling, but staying in touch with your feelings and taking them for what they are.” So, she asks, how can it be that accepting negative emotions is paradoxically linked to long-term psychological thriving?

A few years ago, when Ford was a doctoral student at University of California, Berkeley, she and three fellow Berkeley researchers devised a three-part study to try and find out. Their findings were just published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

According to their analyses, the magic of acceptance is in its blunting effect on emotional reactions to stressful events. It’s that mechanism that can, over time, lead to positive psychological health, including higher levels of life satisfaction. In other words, accepting dark emotions like anxiety or rage, won’t bring you down or amplify the emotional experience. Nor will it make you “happy”—at least not directly.

“You always interpret null effects very cautiously,” Ford says, “but to us, it appears that acceptance uniquely affects negative emotions, and isn’t interfering with positive emotions.”

What’s more, acceptance seems to be linked to better mental health when it’s used in response to negative emotions, not positive ones, she adds, so this is not about living in the world with a “broadly detached attitude.” No need to play it too cool.

Fortunately, acceptance works for a diverse range of people—the researchers found it’s not bound to one socioeconomic or racial group. It also appears to be effective whether people are dealing with feelings related to intense life events or minor inconveniences.

Finally, they assert, acceptance is more connected to better psychological health than other mental modes that fall under the general umbrella of “mindfulness,” such as practicing non-reactivity, for instance, or simply observing. “You need to pay attention to your internal experience,” says Ford, “but acceptance, non-judging acceptance, seems to be the key ingredient to mindfulness.”
Three Tests of Acceptance

Ford’s findings were drawn from at least one and often two parts of the three-part study.

First, researchers analyzed responses from more than 1,000 questionnaires focused on emotional regulation and psychological health sent to undergraduate students at University of California, Berkeley. Habitually accepting negative emotions was found to not only reduce feelings of ill-being (which previous studies had demonstrated), but also was more likely to lead to elevated levels of well-being.

Next, the psychologists recruited 156 people from the San Francisco Bay area for a lab experiment that subjected participants to standardized universal stressor: a public speaking task. “We had people show up and we told them, ‘By the way, you’re going to give a three-minute speech pretending you’re at a job interview and you have to talk about your verbal and written communication skills,’” Ford says. The hypothesis was that those who had been identified as more accepting of their negative mental states would report less severe negative emotions, which was proven to be true. Again, the researchers were building on the work of other psychologists, but, they also tested the robustness of the accepting method by ensuring that at least half of the selected participants had experienced a major negative experience, such as being cheated on or losing their jobs in the months before the study.

In the last study, the researchers asked 222 people of various races and socioeconomic backgrounds, this time recruited from the Denver area, to keep a diary in which they recounted the most stressful event of each day over a two-week period. Their baseline acceptance habits were measured before the diary-writing period, and their general psychological well-being was measured through standardized questionnaires six months later. Habitual acceptors, let’s call them, fared better than their peers, whether the incidents they wrote about were heavy (receiving a phone call from a son in prison, for instance) or relatively mild (minor arguments with a significant other was a common stressor.)
Resist the Urge to Strive for Happiness

Buddhist leaders often underline that “acceptance” doesn’t mean being resigned to a stressful, negative situation, especially when the situation is within your control. Accepting situations is more complex and context-dependent, says Ford. We need to accept a death, but we don’t need to endure unfair treatment from a landlord or employer, for instance, and doing so might lead to worse mental health.

Negative emotions are different, because they’re an unavoidable part of being human. “Life is wonderful from time to time, but it’s also tragic,” as Svend Brinkmann, a psychology professor at Denmark’s Aalborg University, told Quartz’s philosophy reporter Olivia Goldhill. “People die in our lives, we lose them, if we have only been accustomed to being allowed to have positive thoughts, then these realities can strike us even more intensely when they happen—and they will happen.”

The other problem with only allowing ourselves to think positively, and constantly pursuing happiness, is that it puts people in a striving state of mind, says Ford, and that is antithetical to a state of calm contentment.

Ford believes her research could help inform future mental health interventions, which currently rely on some approaches that can fail people. “When something happens and you try to reframe it like, ‘Oh it’s not of such a big deal,’ or ‘I’m going to learn and grow from that that,’ it doesn’t necessarily work,” says Ford. People tend to reject that kind of reframing when their issues are severe, too.

That said, acceptance remains mysterious in some ways. Psychologists don’t know which factors influence some people to habitually accept less-than-rosy emotions, despite cultural pressures to stay positive. It’s also unclear whether acceptance might backfire in some individuals, or if people who usually suppress their darker feelings could seamlessly make the transition without the aid of a therapist or zen teacher.

“My hunch is that it’d be a challenge,” says Ford. In the West, and in the US, especially, she says, happiness and positivity are seen as virtues. “Some companies want their customers and employees to be delighted all the time,” she says. “That’s unreasonable, and when we’re faced with unreasonable expectations, it’s natural for us to start applying judgment to the negative mental experiences that we have.”

Like other cognitive habits, however, acceptance is a skill that can be acquired. (One commonly taught tactic is to think of your emotions as passing clouds, visible but not a part of you.) And according to a study Ford co-authored in 2010, older adults use acceptance more than younger adults. Like wisdom, the trait tracks with age, so most of us will get there eventually."

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/acce ... 0_IbOak9yk

All the above and all other studies do not take into consideration that there is a God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. And that without Him no one will ever find true happiness.
It is so very simple, GRATITUDE, be grateful to God in good times and in the worst of times you will by very surprised what that alone will do for your peace of mind and spirit. Read and apply the teachings of the BofM to your life and there you will find true happiness.
These studies into the human mind are a waste of time. I think that Psychology and the study of it, is a complete waste of time and brings in the devil himself. But we think we are wise, and it is because of pride that we continue in our godless schools. Just as the scriptures tell us, 1st Corinthians 3:

"If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.
For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness. And again, The Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain. Therefore let no man glory in men".

Joseph Smith knew more in 5 minutes learning from God than all of these educated fools have learned in their lifetime. And why is that? Because they think.they are wise in their own conceit. But they are nothing but fools. Pride is the downfall.

[John Tavner]

Col 2:6-9 As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: Rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving.
Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily

[JohnnyL]

EFT helps. Peak States has now suggested that for most problems, it is faster and easier to use EFT than WHH (just use the whole thing, especially the ending part that's usually left off). WHH is similar to Silvia Hartmann's EmoTrance Process. For going much faster, muscle testing can find the feelings so you can use something (EFT, WHH, Emotion Code) to get rid of them.

I don’t know. I looked into it and tried it a bit - but it seems like it works based on placebo (as most healing arts do, except acupuncture etc). While I honor the power of faith, I also see the need for working through thoughts - figuring out subconscious beliefs, correcting thinking distortions and healing life traps. No short cuts to that just like there are no shortcuts to healthy diet, sleep and exercise.

Some seem to think you can buy anything with money...

• “EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES (EFT)
  PROFESSIONAL SKILLS 1
  Class Begins February 10, 2020
  Early Bird Tuition Price - $397 ($50 savings)
  Register before January 20th, 2020 to get this special early bird price!

http://skepdic.com/eft.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6381429/
"Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is an evidence-based self-help therapeutic method and over 100 studies demonstrate its efficacy."

IOW, it's much more than a placebo.

[PickleRick]

I disagree with the title slightly, but I think the intention is correct.

You don't accept your darkest emotions as being OK. But you do acknowledge them. You don't bury them.

You face them. You struggle with them. You train yourself out of them. That's not the same as ignoring or burying them.

[Thinker]

EFT helps. Peak States has now suggested that for most problems, it is faster and easier to use EFT than WHH (just use the whole thing, especially the ending part that's usually left off). WHH is similar to Silvia Hartmann's EmoTrance Process. For going much faster, muscle testing can find the feelings so you can use something (EFT, WHH, Emotion Code) to get rid of them.

I don’t know. I looked into it and tried it a bit - but it seems like it works based on placebo (as most healing arts do, except acupuncture etc). While I honor the power of faith, I also see the need for working through thoughts - figuring out subconscious beliefs, correcting thinking distortions and healing life traps. No short cuts to that just like there are no shortcuts to healthy diet, sleep and exercise.

Some seem to think you can buy anything with money...

• “EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES (EFT)
  PROFESSIONAL SKILLS 1
  Class Begins February 10, 2020
  Early Bird Tuition Price - $397 ($50 savings)
  Register before January 20th, 2020 to get this special early bird price!

http://skepdic.com/eft.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6381429/
"Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is an evidence-based self-help therapeutic method and over 100 studies demonstrate its efficacy."

IOW, it's much more than a placebo.

“There have been a number of small studies on EFT. The largest one of those with 119 participants divided into 4 groups did not find EFT significantly more effective than placebo. One small study with 5 participants in each group, performed by the originator of the technique found a significant effect of EFT. Due to the small sample size and the fact that the journal it was published in is dedicated to alternative medicine, I would not consider these results as proof of effectiveness.

I did not find any convincing studies that would show the effectiveness of this technique. Considering the implausible mechanism it is based on, I would safely argue that EFT is extremely unlikely to work better than placebo and should not be considered a credible treatment for psychological issues.”
https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/ques ... es-it-work

[Thinker]

I disagree with the title slightly, but I think the intention is correct.

You don't accept your darkest emotions as being OK. But you do acknowledge them. You don't bury them.

You face them. You struggle with them. You train yourself out of them. That's not the same as ignoring or burying them.

I do think there is something significant about “wrestling with God.” The alternative is letting it all be expressed subconsciously - which tends to have more disastrous effects.

[Lord of my dogs]

[BruceRGilbert]

Learning to love yourself involves honest, deep and sincere self-discovery. Inevitably, the "look within" involves a discovery of things not desired, but needing to be "owned." If you don't "own" it, you can't act upon it for change. To not own or accept a trait, a "tendency," an "epi-genetic" tradition from the "fathers," is to deceive oneself and veil "reality." It, in essence, is a form of "self-denial;" refusing to see "imperfection," which we have all received by Divine design:

Ether 12:
27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Strength of character and commitment are derived in the struggle with "self." It is the "honing" process of introspection and insight that allows us to grapple with our own imperfections and weaknesses. In so doing, we maintain a "proper" perspective in relationships with others: "If I make allowances for myself; my weaknesses - of necessity, I must make allowances for others." The "owning" of self-identified and "accepted" weaknesses allows us to extend "grace" and "mercy" to others by giving them the benefit of the doubt. In this "perfectioning" and "grace-extending" process, it is imperative to uncouple "emotion" and "subjectivity" from the judgment process, otherwise, the act becomes one of "reflective," self-condemnation. Judgment has to be for "identification" and NOT condemnation. One HAS to remove the emotional judgment's sting of penalizing in gaining the "patience" perspective and "long-suffering" stance of enduring the struggle. There has to be an uncoupling of judgment's subjective, emotional weighing from judgment's objective, intellectual identifying; condemnation from reparation. The best use of judgment is remedial; making improvements.

2 Nephi 2:
11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.
12 Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God.

Joseph Smith learned the value of opposition in all things:

I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming in contact with something else, striking with accelerated force against religious bigotry, priestcraft, lawyer-craft, doctor-craft, lying editors, suborned judges and jurors, and the authority of perjured executives, backed by mobs, blasphemers, licentious and corrupt men and women--all hell knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty, who will give me dominion over all and every one of them, when their refuge of lies shall fail, and their hiding place shall be destroyed, while these smooth-polished stones with which I come in contact become marred.
HC 5:401

It is because of this "superposition" of being "at odds with ourselves," being our own opposition and recognizing it, that we gain the necessary perspective - allowing us to love others. The greatest and saddest self-deceptive practice that we can have is that of being conscious of no internal defect; weakness, placing us beyond the need of self-evaluation. Sadly, there are those in the world that are blinded by their own narcissistic filters.

Heavenly Father desires for us to not loathe or condemn ourselves - or others, for that matter. It is in the "self criticism" and "self-condemnation" that these things occur. It is in the "accusing" of oneself or others that condemnation is advocated. Have you identified your own weaknesses? Do you condemn them in another? Sadly, there are those in the world that are blinded by their own self-loathing. Again, the uncoupling of emotion from judgment yields information, as in identification, and NOT condemnation.

We need to be who we are in order to become who we "will." (duplex significatio)

In another expression: I AM that I AM. I AM what I WILL. (Self-Discipline)

[JohnnyL]

EFT helps. Peak States has now suggested that for most problems, it is faster and easier to use EFT than WHH (just use the whole thing, especially the ending part that's usually left off). WHH is similar to Silvia Hartmann's EmoTrance Process. For going much faster, muscle testing can find the feelings so you can use something (EFT, WHH, Emotion Code) to get rid of them.

I don’t know. I looked into it and tried it a bit - but it seems like it works based on placebo (as most healing arts do, except acupuncture etc). While I honor the power of faith, I also see the need for working through thoughts - figuring out subconscious beliefs, correcting thinking distortions and healing life traps. No short cuts to that just like there are no shortcuts to healthy diet, sleep and exercise.

Some seem to think you can buy anything with money...

• “EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES (EFT)
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http://skepdic.com/eft.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6381429/
"Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is an evidence-based self-help therapeutic method and over 100 studies demonstrate its efficacy."

IOW, it's much more than a placebo.

“There have been a number of small studies on EFT. The largest one of those with 119 participants divided into 4 groups did not find EFT significantly more effective than placebo. One small study with 5 participants in each group, performed by the originator of the technique found a significant effect of EFT. Due to the small sample size and the fact that the journal it was published in is dedicated to alternative medicine, I would not consider these results as proof of effectiveness.

I did not find any convincing studies that would show the effectiveness of this technique. Considering the implausible mechanism it is based on, I would safely argue that EFT is extremely unlikely to work better than placebo and should not be considered a credible treatment for psychological issues.”
https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/ques ... es-it-work

Did you read the research I linked to? If not, let me know, I won't post any more.

100+ = "a number of small studies". Do you think he read them all? Who are you believing?

Here's the simplest flaw in the biggest study--the placebo wasn't a placebo. Meridians go all over the body, not just the spots that are used for EFT. The study doesn't mention which other spots were used, which means chances are decent that the spots were also on meridians--a fatal study flaw, much worse than "not being blind", etc.

"skepdic", right there with quackwatch.org, and every other website that's trying to control your beliefs and choices to keep them in line with Western medicine... Read about quackwatch.org on quackpotwatch.org--defunct website, so I'll post some here:


Quackwatch Stephen Berrett--ouch, Quackpotwatch

Stephen Barrett - Professional Crackpot...

The Internet needs health information it can trust. Stephen Barrett doesn't provide it...

Barrett is one of those people whose ambitions and opinions of himself far exceeds his abilities. Without ANY qualifications he has set himself up as an expert in just about everything having to do with health care - and more.

And this from a man who is a professional failure.

Records show that Barrett never achieved any success in the medical profession. His claim to being a "retired Psychiatrist" is laughable. He is, in fact, a "failed Psychiatrist," and a "failed MD."

The Psychiatric profession rejected Barrett years ago, for Barrett could NOT pass the examinations necessary to become "Board Certified." Which, is no doubt why Barrett was, throughout his career, relegated to lower level "part time" positions.

Barrett, we know, was forced to give up his medical license in Pennsylvania in 1993 when his "part-time" employment at the State Mental Hospital was terminated, and he had so few (nine) private patients during his last five years of practice, that he couldn't afford the Malpractice Insurance premiums Pennsylvania requires.

In a job market in the United States, where there is a "doctor shortage," Stephen Barrett, after his termination by the State mental Hospital, couldn't find employment. He was in his mid-50s at the time. He should have been at the top of his craft - yet, apparently, he couldn't find work.

It is obvious, that, after one humiliation after another, in 1993 Barrett simply gave up his medical aspirations, turned in his MD license, and retreated, in bitterness and frustration, to his basement.

It was in that basement, where Barrett took up "quackbusting" - which, in reality, means that Barrett attacks "cutting-edge" health professionals and paradigms - those that ARE achieving success in their segment of health care.

And there, in "quackbusting" is where Barrett finally found the attention and recognition he seems to crave - for, a while, that is, until three California Judges, in a PUBLISHED Appeals Court decision, took a HARD look at Barrett's activities, and declared him "biased, and unworthy of credibility."

Bitterness against successful health professionals is Barrett's hallmark. To him they're all "quacks." In this, his essays are repetitive and pedestrian.

Barrett, in his writings, says the same things, the same way, every time - change the victim and the subject, and still you yawn your way through his offerings. It's like he's filling out a form somebody gave him...

Take an overactive self importance, couple it with glaring failure and rejection in his chosen profession, add a cup of molten hatred for those that do succeed, pop it in the oven - and out comes Stephen Barrett - self-styled "expert in everything."

Barrett, we know, along with his website, was named, among other things, in a racketeering (RICO) case in Federal Court in Colorado.

He's also being sued for his nefarious activities in Ontario, Canada.

Barrett, in the Canadian case, has formally admitted, according to Canadian law, to a number of situations put to him by the Plaintiff, including:

"The sole purpose of the activities of Barrett & Baratz are to discredit and cause damage and harm to health care practitioners, businesses that make alternative health therapies or products available, and advocates of non-allopathic therapies and health freedom."

"Barrett has interfered with the civil rights of numerous Americans, in his efforts to have his critics silenced."

"Barrett has strategically orchestrated the filing of legal actions in improper jurisdictions for the purpose of frustrating the victims of such lawsuits and increasing his victims costs."

"Barrett failed the exams he was required to pass to become a Board Certified Medical Doctor."

Barrett's Funding - TOP SECRET...

Barrett was cornered in a Federal case in the State of Oregon not long ago, and asked about his income. He testified that over the past two years he made a TOTAL of $54,000.

How then does he afford to carry on fourteen (14) separate legal actions at one time?

If each legal action cost him $100,000, that would come to 1.4 million dollars ($1,400,000).

How do you squeeze 1.4 million out of a $54,000 total income?

Good question...

From a judge's ruling:

Dr. Barrett’s heavy activities in lecturing and writing about alternative medicine similarly are focused on the eradication of the practices about which he opines. Both witnesses’ fees, as Dr. Barrett testified, are paid from a fund established by Plaintiff NCAHF from the proceeds of suits such as the case at bar. Based on this fact alone, the Court may infer that Dr. Barrett and Sampson are more likely to receive fees for testifying on behalf of NCAHF in future cases if the Plaintiff prevails in the instant action and thereby wins funds to enrich the litigation fund described by Dr. Barrett. It is apparent, therefore, that both men have a direct, personal financial interest in the outcome of this litigation. Based on all of these factors, Dr. Sampson and Dr. Barrett can be described as zealous advocates of the Plaintiff’s position, and therefore not neutral or dispassionate witnesses or experts. In light of these affiliations and their orientation, it can fairly be said that Drs. Barrett and Sampson are themselves the client, and therefore their testimony should be accorded little, if any, credibility on that basis as well.

...
These documents established only what Defendants’ claims were, not the alleged falsity of those claims. Plaintiff offered no evidence pertaining to the specific products in question.
...
Dated: December 17, 2001 /s/ Judge Haley J. Fromholz
Judge of the Superior Court
///

Quackpot Watch

"THE LAST DAYS OF THE QUACKBUSTERS"...

Opinion by Consumer Advocate Tim Bolen ([email protected])

I've been following the activities of the "Quackbusters" for about five years, ever since the name Stephen Barrett (quackwatch.com) came up, as a player, against a client of mine in California. I asked the question "why would this group be using a doctor from Pennsylvania, as their witness, when there are 300,000 health professionals in this State?"

Thus began my education. Now I'm going to educate YOU...

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The "quackbuster" operation is a conspiracy. It is a propaganda enterprise, one part crackpot, two parts evil. It's sole purpose is to discredit, and suppress, in an "anything goes" attack mode, what is wrongfully named "Alternative Medicine." It has declared war on reality. The conspirators are acting in the interests of, and are being paid, directly and indirectly, by the "conventional" medical-industrial complex.

Millions of health freedom fighters, and members of the public, worldwide, know what I know. Public outrage and reaction is growing. After 25 years of unopposed success, the "Quackbusters" are now in real trouble... "The end" for them, has begun. They, themselves are being hunted.

The "Quackbuster Conspiracy" is in a desperate place now. They know they've lost the war, and are going to pay a terrible price for their actions. The fear is in their eyes...

CRACKPOTS?

Yes. When the self-named "Quackbusters" stumbled around to find a derisive name to call their victims, they picked the word "Quack," without ever bothering to discover it's origins. Its original meaning, from Europe, comes from the term "quacksalver" which was used to describe Dentists who were dumb enough to use mercury (a poison) as fillings for teeth. Look at propagandist, and "Quackbuster" king-pin, Stephen Barrett's website (quackwatch.com), and you'll find that HE IS IN FAVOR of mercury (amalgam) tooth fillings.

Barrett, his cronies, and minions, are not known to do intelligent research.

EVIL?

Yes. The "Quackbuster Conspiracy" was started shortly after the American Medical Association (AMA) lost the court battle to the Chiropractors in a case begun in Federal court in 1976. The Federal judge ordered the AMA's covert operation shut down - and leave the Chiropractors alone. The AMA files, library, etc., ended up in Stephen Barrett's 1,800 square foot basement in Allentown, PA. Barrett, and his minions, had the common sense to stay away from criticizing Chiropractors for quite some time. Barrett has since abandoned that common sense.

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Federal judges have a way of enforcing their decisions using shackles, Federal Marshals, the federal prison facilities, asset seizure, etc... Even Barrett, in all his incredible arrogance, isn't dumb enough to match wills with a Federal Judge. I think the Chiropractic Association should consider re-opening the Wilks case in front of that same Federal Judge - and point right at Barrett, and his cronies.

In that early, educational case for me in California, Stephen Barrett and two slime-ball investigators from the California Medical Board, had convinced members of the Laguna Beach Police Department that a nutritionist using ozone therapy was "a sex criminal preying on women." Flak-jacketed thugs screwed a gun into Salvatore D'Onofrio's ear, forced him to lie on the ground, and thus began a brutal, anything goes, persecution.

D'Onofrio's attorney was a hiking partner of mine, and told me the story on a ridgeline, seven miles up from a trailhead. I laugh now when I remember my naive response "This can't be happening in America."

Sal D'Onofrio, through his attorney, hired us, at day 43 in solitary confinement in the Orange County Jail. He was in "solitary" because that's what they do with sex criminals. He was in jail because the judge had set bail at $500,000, an amount his supporters couldn't raise. Barrett's minions were ruining D'Onofrio's life in the press.

We organized a bail hearing for day 48 of incarceration, put 62 of D'Onofrio's supporters in the courtroom, LA network television in the jury box, got the front page of the LA Times, etc., etc., etc., - and the judge let D'Onofrio out on his own recognizance. Seven weeks later the prosecutor dropped the charges.

Who are these people that would, so casually, inflict that kind of nightmare on an innocent man?

James Carter, MD's authoritative book "Racketeering In Medicine," published by Hampton Roads, carefully explains the "Quackbuster Conspiracy."

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE?

"Alternative Medicine" is defined as any protocol, action, or therapy that isn't "drugs, radiation, or surgery oriented."

Wrongfully named? Yes. So-called "alternative medicine" is actually the health choice of planet earth. It is a combination of every good health idea invented by mankind, in every country and culture on this planet. There is nothing "alternative" about it. Labeling planet earth's health choice as "alternative" is, and was, a propaganda device.

North Americans have overwhelmingly (by their purchases) made "Alternative Medicine" the "health choice of the people" - for the best of reasons: it works better than allopathic, it "removes the cause" rather than "treating the symptoms," it is cost effective, it makes people feel better and think clearer, and it doesn't have all those horrible effects, and side effects, of invasive surgery or prescription drugs.

More than half of the US health dollar in 1999 was spent on "Alternative Medicine" and it was all out-of-pocket. Conventional medicine is being paid for, and is surviving, only because insurance and Medicare pay for it - the public won't spend an out-of-pocket nickel on it.

Alternative Medicine philosophies fit the "American (I'll make my own decisions)" way of thinking. Allopathic Medicine philosophies fit the "Germanic (follow my orders)" way. "Alternative Medicine" is for people who think for themselves - Americans.

The door to real "alternatives" is barely open. The future of medicine is right in front of us - it isn't in pharmaceuticals - it is in nutrition, body cleansing, prevention, oxygen therapies and energy medicine - all of which are constantly targeted by the sleaziest of the "Quackbuster" soldiers.

THE "QUACKBUSTER" STRONGHOLD...

The Federation of State Medical Boards (FSMB), is a vital Medical Doctor (MD) control point. It is the trade organization of all 50 State's Medical Boards. The FSMB is the organization that writes the policy manuals, and provides training for, Medical Board investigators and prosecutors all over the United States. The FSMB is the "Quackbuster" police agency.

The "Quackbusters" use the FSMB to persecute two groups (1) "Alternative Practitioners" within the MD ranks (they treat them like traitors), and (2) non-licensed alternative health professionals (they charge them with "practicing medicine without a license").

The "Quackbusters" through the FSMB, have been able to change the focus of prosecutions against "bad doctors." They define "bad doctors" as those that use alternative modalities - and maximum penalties are exacted. We have seen in California, that real "bad doctors," those that kill their patients, actually get off with a slap-on-the-hand by using the defense "but I prescribed a lot of drugs." State medical Boards are not serving the needs of "we the people," they are serving the needs of the "Quackbusters," and their paymasters.

Medical Board prosecutions are funded by the States - Barrett, and his slime artists, don't have to spend a dime... I couldn't even count the number of "alternative medicine" practitioners currently under persecution from mis-informed Medical Board investigators and prosecutors. The damage done to Americans from this attack is incalculable...

BARRETT'S DUBIOUS CLAIMS ABOUT WHAT "HEALTH FRAUD" REALLY IS...

The US government has indicated that "Health Fraud" is a major problem in the United States Health Care system. Statistics show that "conventional medicine" rips off the American public significantly each year in bogus billings, false claims, unnecessary procedures and tests, etc...

Attorney General Janet Reno has a special nationwide "Health Fraud Prosecution Unit" to deal with this massive problem. The prosecutions are against mega-greedy hospitals, HMOs, ambulance companies, nursing facilities, etc. - all "Conventional" medical units - not "Alternative."

But, if you peruse Stephen Barrett's (don't call him doctor, he's not licensed) website, you get the impression that "allopaths" are to be classified somewhere next to archangels - and "alternatives" are snake-oil salesmen, akin to the devil's minions. Barrett clearly defines, in smirky arrogance, health fraud as "alternative medicine."

Huh?

Doesn't Barrett read national statistics on health fraud? Of course he does - he just ignores them. And "Barrett's parrots" at the FSMB mimic their supreme commander's every word in their policy statements. Anyone can read FSMB policy statements, in their entirety, on the web. Just go to www.fsmb.org and start reading. They, like Barrett, define "health fraud" as "alternative medicine," and fail to even mention the real national "health fraud" statistics.

WHY THE FEAR IN THEIR EYES?

Three Reasons: Exposure, ridicule, and public rage.

(1). EXPOSURE - Health Freedom Fighters, tired of the persecutions, and outnumbering the "Quackbusters" 100,000 to 1, are now watching Barrett and his soldiers carefully. They've decided to put a stop to Barrett and company. Lists are being made of who the "Quackbuster Conspirators" are, what their function is, where they fit into the conspiracy, who they work for, who their associates are, where they live, and what their probable motives are. Their daily activities, as "Quackbusters," are being monitored, and documented.

Health leaders consider Barrett, and company, to be running a subversive organization working against the interests of America.

(2). RIDICULE - Examination of Barrett's operation proves that the "Quackbusters" are a paper tiger. They are a construction with a 25 year old modus operandi. Their membership is small, they have an even smaller core group, the industry is turning its back on their extremism, and their leadership "public presence" is laughable. Their support network could best be described as "pea-brained."

Their "annual meeting" for the conspiracy was held in a Super 8 motel in Missouri - 25 stalwarts attended from, at least, six different plotter groups. Not very impressive.

"Bizarre" Stephen Barrett, his cronies and minions, even labeled two time Nobel Prize Winner Linus Pauling as a "Quack." The American public, in a consumer-driven movement, is rejecting, with laughter and ridicule, Barrett and company's ludicrous assertions - hence the term "Quackpot" is now used, commonly, to describe the self-named "Quackbusters."

(3). PUBLIC RAGE - The American public is just now realizing two things (a) that a good many of those "alternative" things being blocked, and suppressed, have been around for a long while - but not available to them because of the conspiracy, and (b) that the system to find and put new things in place is corrupt - and works against Americans. Every "cure" since polio has been suppressed, and the proponents of those cures, reviled by the "Quackbuster Conspirators."

Statistics show that every one of those "cures" worked to some extent...

Barrett, his cronies, minions, and henchmen, have every reason to fear public rage. Russian leader Nikita Khrushchev said it best. He said, "We would never invade America. For every American has a gun..."

"You mean my mother didn't have to die that horribly, or even die at all?" is a question more, and more Americans are asking...

https://web.archive.org/web/20181215174 ... watch.org/

[Thinker]

[youtube][Sith, in Star wars]

Evil is hastily expressed when “they know not what they do” - when they haven’t taken the time to “wrestle” it out with God. “In each of us is a bit of all of us.” We all have potential for good and evil - thus the need to wrestle it out in spirit - BEFORE acting on it. Evil discourages this wrestling with God and chooses blind ignor-ance.

If people really knew and felt harm they’re causing others and themselves, they wouldn’t do it. This is why despite being tortured and killed, Christ prayed, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

[Thinker]

Learning to love yourself involves honest, deep and sincere self-discovery. Inevitably, the "look within" involves a discovery of things not desired, but needing to be "owned." If you don't "own" it, you can't act upon it for change. To not own or accept a trait... is to deceive oneself and veil "reality." It, in essence, is a form of "self-denial;" refusing to see "imperfection," which we have all received by Divine design...

Joseph Smith learned the value of opposition in all things:

I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming in contact with something else, striking with accelerated force against... corrupt men and women--all hell knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty...
HC 5:401

...Again, the uncoupling of emotion from judgment yields information, as in identification, and NOT condemnation.

We need to be who we are in order to become who we "will." (duplex significatio)

In another expression: I AM that I AM. I AM what I WILL. (Self-Discipline)

A lot of wisdom, thanks.
I struggle with punitiveness of myself and others. The more evil I see in myself and others - the more pain I feel - the more punitive. A cycle I’m trying to break. We are programmed - even biologically - to be much more sensitive to pain than to pleasure, as a survival mechanism. Both denial and obsession with negatives - are dysfunctional, and cause pain. Both good and bad need to be acknowledged in perspective - and ideally, motivate healthy thought, feeling and action.

God gave us all we have. There is only one thing we can give - our will. Pride with ignor-ance is the most damming combo, holding us back from progressing. The last few years, my eyes have been opened to some people in my life who have a habit of hurting me and others, which everybody does at some time. Yet, some, I have painfully realized, through seeing their unending patterns and through the spirit, that they will probably never change those habits in this life. They refuse - they will not. For years, I hoped they would change and forgave them over & over. I still strive to forgive - “give” myself to move “for”ward - but I have to maintain boundaries with them. There are others in my life - and myself included - who have hurt others but who realize our sins & mistakes and work toward correcting them. They are who I want to invest in.

The greatest commandments are really 3: Love God, others and self. “The kingdom (realm/experience) of God is within” so loving God is part of loving self - love meaning appreciating what is while striving for what’s best.

[Thinker]

Tools to Overcome Pain
1. Journaling
2. Talking
3. Communing - esp. with Nature
4. Moving (being active)
5. Resting
https://youtu.be/39G2y-8QdUo

In scriptures, “WORD” is mentioned as significant. Its meaning may be taking “matter unorganized”/chaos - abstract feelings that may feel monstrous, and putting them into order - words. Journaling and talking do this well.

I like how he suggests that how we handle the hard times serves the purpose of helping us grow. Reminds me of Positive Disintegration “God making our weaknesses strengths.”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration