Church Always Comes First!

[Hie'ing to Kolob]

I would rather have 10% of a 100% man than 100% of a 10% man, and that's what I would think I had if he was Mr.- constantly- doting- family- man- 24/7.

That is a sad statement.

[eddie]

Yeah. This is an important topic. I served 4 years as a counselor in a Bishopric and between my real job and my "church job" my family suffered tremendously. I regret sacrificing them at critical times in my children's lives to be a ward level middle manager. It's one thing if we were feeding the hungry, caring for the orphans, and widows, but that's not what it's about.

I have served in big positions, my family was blessed and serving makes me happy.

[Hie'ing to Kolob]

Yeah. This is an important topic. I served 4 years as a counselor in a Bishopric and between my real job and my "church job" my family suffered tremendously. I regret sacrificing them at critical times in my children's lives to be a ward level middle manager. It's one thing if we were feeding the hungry, caring for the orphans, and widows, but that's not what it's about.

I have served in big positions, my family was blessed and serving makes me happy.

It made me happy too. Home with a burned out wife and a houseful of kids was the more difficult place to be. That's the dirty little secret about service in the LDS Church.

I gave myself a big pat on the back for all the meetings I attended. I thought I was doing the right thing, the selfless thing, but in actuality, I was being selfish and taking the easy path. My poor wife and kids suffered needlessly.

[eddie]

Yeah. This is an important topic. I served 4 years as a counselor in a Bishopric and between my real job and my "church job" my family suffered tremendously. I regret sacrificing them at critical times in my children's lives to be a ward level middle manager. It's one thing if we were feeding the hungry, caring for the orphans, and widows, but that's not what it's about.

I have served in big positions, my family was blessed and serving makes me happy.

It made me happy too. Home with a burned out wife and a houseful of kids was the more difficult place to be. That's the dirty little secret about service in the LDS Church.

I gave myself a big pat on the back for all the meetings I attended. I thought I was doing the right thing, the selfless thing, but in actuality, I was being selfish and taking the easy path. My poor wife and kids suffered needlessly.

Do people not know how to set limitations? If you are not happy say no or opt out. I have turned down callings or said I was tired and needed a break, I was not chastised nor punished in any way. Why be bitter later, take charge of your life, building the Kingdom of God is hard work, but why do it and complain later putting the Church in a bad light.

[WickerWeaver]

If there's one thing all here can probably agree on...it's that striking a healthy balance between service to God/Christ/Church/Neighbor and service to God/Christ/Spouse/Family is often incredibly difficult and happy are they that ever achieve said balance.

[Michelle]

The Church exists to support the family, not the family to support the Church.

What is the basic unit of society? Of Eternity?

It is the family, of course.

This does not mean the Church does not have value, or that we shouldn't sacrifice to build it. A strong ward can provide crucial support to a struggling family. A ward provides a convenient place to teach our children service. A ward provides an opportunity to meet with other saints and partake of the sacrament.

We have been advised not to run faster than we are able. Church activities that are detrimental to families can be skipped. It is ok to not attend a church activity if you have a family activity or don't approve. I see no place for a Halloween Party at a church building and refuse to attend. It is ok to serve at home first: feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, administering to the sick. I think seasons of life dictate exercising agency, especially with small children. It is ok, and good to stay home when you are sick. I see people so proud not to miss church or their calling while sick, ensuring that others will miss once they catch their illness.

When I have a new baby I don't take them to church for at least 2 months, or until March for winter babies.I might take turns taking sacrament while my husband stays with the baby every few weeks, but there is no reason to expose them to all the germs before that point.

Even with all that, I do support building the Kingdom of God and I do support sacrificing for my Savior. The Spirit is our guide when choosing how to put God first and prioritize our activities at home and at church accordingly.

[Hie'ing to Kolob]

Do people not know how to set limitations? If you are not happy say no or opt out. I have turned down callings or said I was tired and needed a break, I was not chastised nor punished in any way. Why be bitter later, take charge of your life, building the Kingdom of God is hard work, but why do it and complain later putting the Church in a bad light.

I believed that callings extended to me were direct callings from the Lord. He knows my circumstances perfectly, so at the time, I didn't see an opening for saying no or reducing my commitment. I'm not complaining to "put the Church in a bad light." I'm sharing my experience with profound selfishness in the name of the institutional Church. Hoping others can learn from it.

[Thinker]

Part of the reason we are considered Mormons and not Christians is because we are taught to prioritize the church above Christ’s teachings. Changing labels doesn’t change reality.

What I think is more concerning is when young parents miss out on raising their children because they put the church before them. It’s also concerning when the church is placed above other relationships like marriage. This is what makes me see clearly where the mark has been missed by a long shot.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints IS Christ's teachings, of which we teach in Primary and other organizations. How does taking our children to Primary and teaching them of Jesus Christ cause us to miss out on raising them? Where do you get that Church is placed above relationships?

Christ taught that the greatest commandments- above all law and prophets- are to love God and love others as ourselves. Inasmuch as we care for those in need, we love God. Tithes belong to God. Despite church money kept secret, Dallin Oaks admitted not a cent of tithes goes to those in need. This is breaking not just the law of tithing (Deuteronomy 14:28-29) but also the greatest of Christ’s commandments.

Parents who have young children often get time-consuming and draining callings that take them away from raising their OWN children - their own top responsibilities. Due to church teachings, many feel like they cannot say no to the church, so they say no (in action) to their families.

The church leaders have dysfunctionally taught contrary to Christ in saying that spouses & other family who are nonmembers, inactive or questioning are inferior and should prioritize the church above all, or else they are inferior. This has led to breaking up many marriages and families. My spouse & I compromised in raising our kids going to church but sending our tithes to the poor. This & my unwillingness to go along with church financial corruption, caused me to be “unworthy” for temple entrance & so my spouse went behind my back to my extended family church members and threatened divorce. Many have been mean to me as a result. He didn’t care that I served in & attended church, had FHE, did genealogy, kept journals (helped my kids), prayed, studied scriptures etc. Because my sister needed to know, I explained that my spouse cheated (found picture) & has been abusive - yet she still blamed me - along with my mom - for not being more religiously fanatic and not giving blind faith to what I know to be partly evil. The church is their god and comes before relationships and the true God.

[eddie]

Your situation is complicated and I am sorry your marriage and family was a difficult, say the least.
Our leaders have never taught contrary to Christ, our Prophet receives revelation from Jesus Christ concerning the way He want our church ran.