Church Always Comes First!

[Dusty52]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

[PressingForward]

Why do you hate the church so much?

[Dusty52]

Why do you love the church so much?

[rimbauer.peter]

Why do you love the church so much?

Although I'm not a native English speaker nor American and I have only been a church member for 23 years, I have always been amazed by the early American pioneers who answered the prophet's call and traveled a great distance. Most of them lost everything : wives, husbands, young children. Have you heard the story of the young men who carried people across the icy waters and died some days later? Have you heard about the woman who lost all her children on the journey to the Utah territory? Have you ever heard about Christ, who didn't care about how his mother felt and sacrifised himself? I understand the role of the church as an organization and I do understand what personal sacrifice means.. And if someone is not smart enough to understand what that means, what the church is for, what the relationship is between the church and Christ, well, there's one thing I can highly recommend, because it also helpd me a lot: repentence. In time, when you are older, you will also grow wiser.

[Robin Hood]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

If only the father hadn't worked all his life. If he just sat on the dole instead he could have spent so much more time with his children when they were young. Why spend all that time working? Family is supposed to come first!

[Juliet]

I think it has taken several generations for men to value their children. Roles used to be very strictly divided. I have a book of collections from my great grandparents that came to Utah after joining the church in Europe. In their personal writings I can see how the culture was much different. The women wouldn't really even talk to their husbands. One of the writings was how her husband complimented her on doing a good job raising kids. It sounded like that sentence from him to her was the highlight of her life!

It used to be men were not allowed to help with child birth because the women worried it would destroy his sex drive.

I think men and women are a lot closer than they used to be. And I loved Elder Christofferson's conference talk on "Why the Church" because he said the main and first church has and always will be the family.

Think about it, if you can love your wife and kids, you are ready for the Celestial kingdom.

If not, serving God through the church is a good second choice. If you have enough and to spare, a mission is a good thing.

Family does come first. If everyone took care of their own family the whole world would have provision.

[EmmaLee]

Actually, God comes first - or at least, he's supposed to.

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

Having said that, many do not equate God with "the Church" - nor should we. Can the Church at times ask things of us that are genuinely from God or that are God's will? Sure, but that knowledge has to come from God to the person via personal revelation. Without personal revelation as a constant, it doesn't much matter who/what we put first.

[Finrock]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

How do you know the parents didn't spend a tremendous amount of quality time with their family before the missions?

Family does come first, but, we can also pursue our passions and desires in life. I am looking forward to serving multiple missions for the Church when I retire. Nobody is making me do this and I don't feel obligated or pressured to go. To me it will be an adventure, something that my wife and I can do together and bond. So, that time will be spent being with my family, my wife. It will be spent building up and strengthening my family relationship with my wife. I've tried to make my priority in life God/Family (to me they are not distinct) with my wife first and my children a very close second. My children will leave and move away, establishing their own lives. They will then cleave on to their spouse, just like I cleave on to mine. My relationship with my wife will continue, even after all the kids leave.

May something bad happen while I'm on my missions? Maybe. Does something bad happening, something that can't be predicted or can't be known, then mean that I've been neglectful to my family? Of course not!

But, as far as your sentiment, "Church always comes first" I agree with you that this isn't right. The Church does not always comes first. It doesn't come second or third. You are correct in that many members of the Church have prioritized Church over more important things, like family, and this is unfortunate.

-Finrock

[nightlight]

37He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 39He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

[oneClimbs]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

I'm not going to condemn Dusty52 for simply asking a question. Any question, even if it seems absurd, ignorant, or ill-informed to some shouldn't end up in an attack on the asker. That said, I think it is fair to "attack" or criticize the substance of the question on its merits without it being perceived as a personal attack on the individual.

In response to the question, I would just ask about all the people who have died driving to work, was work more important than their family? What about people who have died on vacation, or on their way to a movie or event, shouldn't they have been home with their family? If "Family comes first" is the ultimate principle and the implication being that you shouldn't do anything that takes you away from your family, I wonder how that principle stands up against the image of Jesus and his poor weeping mother at the foot of the cross?

What about Abinadi burning at the stake and if he was actually a younger man with a family? What about Amulek who devoted himself to missionary work and was shunned by his family, likely after many of them were burned alive in the fires?

Would the parents mentioned above still deserve this criticism if they chose to go on a 6 month trip to Europe instead of choosing of their own free will and choice to serve a mission?

[shadow]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

I suppose you could say the same thing about Christ. He was even younger than the guy in your story above. Good thing you weren't around to criticize His mission.

[PressingForward]

Why do you love the church so much?

I love the Church because it helps me come into Christ better than without it. The Church has faults, but the keys to Heavenly Fathers Priesthood reside in the Church with the Prophet. The Church is where we can find the restored gospel, the saving ordinances required to return to his presence.

[Dusty52]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

I'm not going to condemn Dusty52 for simply asking a question. Any question, even if it seems absurd, ignorant, or ill-informed to some shouldn't end up in an attack on the asker.

I like your comment
One of the main problems on this forum are the number of people who are just waiting to attack and condemn someone because of the questions they ask, people on here are not interested in questioning their belief or faith they just want to be pacified. I am tired of the personal attacks I wish Brian would do something about it.

[Alaris]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

I'm surprised how many adverse responses you've received in this thread. This is the priority list I learned of in my mission:

God (and squaring yourself with him - sort of like put your own oxygen mask on before assisting your children)
Spouse
Kids
Family
Church / calling
Job

I absolutely agree that folks have their priorities way out of whack with their church /calling at the top above God. I'm not minimizing church callings, but all things in wisdom and balance.

As I've gotten into the management layer in my career, I've noticed those who spend way too much time at work for the sake of appearances. "For the sake of appearances" is in fact something that I think can skew any one of these priorities out of balance.

[passionflower]

My answer to Dusty's question is simply that outside of an emergency situation, the church comes first, especially as far as my husband is concerned. My DH gets my whole hearted support in all his church callings and Priesthood duties, and NO, I do not come first, the church does, as well as his career and everything else he feels he needs to do.
That is just what makes him a man. I would rather have 10% of a 100% man than 100% of a 10% man, and that's what I would think I had if he was Mr.- constantly- doting- family- man- 24/7. For myself, though, my husband and children come first.
My DH has a calling to serve in a nursing home, and on Sunday he of course sees to Sacrament Meeting there. I cannot make it there to be with him, and I cannot get to our own ward by myself, and he is always late coming home. That's OK because he can't time getting sacrament to each and every person who can't come out of their room to the meeting, or the blessings so many of them always want, and they always want a little bit of a visit, too.
Marion D Hanks a long time ago said that the church needs to be family centered, but the family needs to be church centered. I like that.
I do not feel I am losing anything by my stance here. This is making my family first. I don't believe you can have anything eternally you are not willing to sacrifice in this life. My family life was very successful. All my children are responsible people, married in the temple and good active ward members and are doing a good job at raising their own families. They all believe their father is the best man they will ever know.

[shadow]

One of the main problems on this forum are the number of people who are just waiting to attack and condemn someone because of the questions they ask...

Sometimes the questions people ask are a form of attacking/condemning/criticizing.

[Rand]

It is not so much the Church comes first, it is that Christ comes first, and that priority is established through our covenant relationship with Him. We covenant to build His Kingdom, and that work must come through his established Church. People can put the church above covenants and families in an inappropriate way. But, I am not sure the examples you gave were good examples of that.
If a person sacrifices all for the building of the kingdom they will receive all the Father has.
If they give their all to the Church, but their real motive is to build their image, prestige, power or status, they are not doing well.
It is not so much about the Church as it is about Christ.
But, better to give to the church for the wrong reason, than to your family, but never lead your family to eternal life.

[Benaishtart]

So many people on this form care jack squat about the Law of Sacrifice.

[Robin Hood]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

I'm surprised how many adverse responses you've received in this thread. This is the priority list I learned of in my mission:

God (and squaring yourself with him - sort of like put your own oxygen mask on before assisting your children)
Spouse
Kids
Family
Church / calling
Job

Am I wrong in thinking that your kids come before your spouse?

[harakim]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

I'm surprised how many adverse responses you've received in this thread. This is the priority list I learned of in my mission:

God (and squaring yourself with him - sort of like put your own oxygen mask on before assisting your children)
Spouse
Kids
Family
Church / calling
Job

Am I wrong in thinking that your kids come before your spouse?

That's a hard question. I used to be on the kids side of the fence, but I am not firmly on the spouse side. Your kids don't really have anyone to depend on, so you are responsible for them, but they are going to leave at 18. Your spouse will be with you for up to 85 years. Also, your kids haven't knowingly made a commitment to be with you. Your spouse has.

In my mind, it's only complicated because kids can't do everything for themselves.

[Thinker]

Part of the reason we are considered Mormons and not Christians is because we are taught to prioritize the church above Christ’s teachings. Changing labels doesn’t change reality.

What I think is more concerning is when young parents miss out on raising their children because they put the church before them. It’s also concerning when the church is placed above other relationships like marriage. This is what makes me see clearly where the mark has been missed by a long shot.

[Alaris]

A friend of mine's parents who are retired went on 2 missions instead of spending those years with their family, the father discovered he had cancer whilst on the second one, he came home and deteriorated and eventually died, I suppose his reward is in heaven but what about his children and grand-children! Family is supposed to come first!!

How many priesthood holders have but the church first instead of being at home with the family?

I'm surprised how many adverse responses you've received in this thread. This is the priority list I learned of in my mission:

God (and squaring yourself with him - sort of like put your own oxygen mask on before assisting your children)
Spouse
Kids
Family
Church / calling
Job

Am I wrong in thinking that your kids come before your spouse?

Yes.

[eddie]

These posts use emotion to manipulate the response. They demean, insult, put down, criticize and
pick apart the Church. The constant accusing of what they think is wrong is tiring, and turns into confusing conversation.

[eddie]

Part of the reason we are considered Mormons and not Christians is because we are taught to prioritize the church above Christ’s teachings. Changing labels doesn’t change reality.

What I think is more concerning is when young parents miss out on raising their children because they put the church before them. It’s also concerning when the church is placed above other relationships like marriage. This is what makes me see clearly where the mark has been missed by a long shot.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints IS Christ's teachings, of which we teach in Primary and other organizations. How does taking our children to Primary and teaching them of Jesus Christ cause us to miss out on raising them? Where do you get that Church is placed above relationships?

[Hie'ing to Kolob]

Yeah. This is an important topic. I served 4 years as a counselor in a Bishopric and between my real job and my "church job" my family suffered tremendously. I regret sacrificing them at critical times in my children's lives to be a ward level middle manager. It's one thing if we were feeding the hungry, caring for the orphans, and widows, but that's not what it's about.