How do I support someone going to a church court?

[Dusty52]

A friend of mine fell into bad ways he has now received a letter asking him to attend a church court, he has asked me to go along with him, I don't know what to do or how to help him?
Any ideas?

[MMbelieve]

He needs to do it himself. If you wish to support him then you can sit in the foyer to show that support, I don't see anything wrong with that. Everyone benefits from knowing someone cares about them. But the court is his to do.

[Robin Hood]

A friend of mine fell into bad ways he has now received a letter asking him to attend a church court, he has asked me to go along with him, I don't know what to do or how to help him?
Any ideas?

First of all, he hasn't been asked to attend a church court. They haven't been called that for at least 3 decades.
It's a disciplinary council.
Secondly, why does your friend want you to attend? Do they want you to participate, or just go along to lend moral support?
If it's the latter, then do that. In terms of the DC, there isn't much else you can do.

Is it a Bishop's DC, or is it at Stake level?
They are conducted differently.

[Dusty52]

A friend of mine fell into bad ways he has now received a letter asking him to attend a church court, he has asked me to go along with him, I don't know what to do or how to help him?
Any ideas?

First of all, he hasn't been asked to attend a church court. They haven't been called that for at least 3 decades.
It's a disciplinary council.
Secondly, why does your friend want you to attend? Do they want you to participate, or just go along to lend moral support?
If it's the latter, then do that. In terms of the DC, there isn't much else you can do.

Is it a Bishop's DC, or is it at Stake level?
They are conducted differently.

It's at the stake level

[gardener4life]

I would remind you of Moses Chapter 3 and 4.

Adam when asked by God what was going on was humble and broken hearted, contrite spirit.

Satan was openly hostile, challenging, rebellious.

The differences are there for a reason. By being humble and trying to renew himself through repentance and changing his behavior Adam could have a future. What's also interesting is that it's not until Satan tries to destroy Adam and Eve that he was cursed. Why didn't he try to make things up before then? He was cursed in this world's phase, not in the pre-existence. His spirit became a tool of war. At that point he was lost.

He could have tried to make things up before then probably.

I would try to encourage your friend to be mindful of stories like these. Also Jesus healed the 10 lepers, but only 1 came back to thank him. The adulterous woman was helped by Jesus. Your friend can be helped if he'll let them.

[Serragon]

He is probably scared and just wants a friend to support him. It is frightening to face 15 men you respect and have your failings openly talked about and judged. It is to his credit that he wants to attend. Just be a friend.

[e-eye2.0]

You can always go and sit in the hall - the Stake President has the option of allowing anyone additional in the court. From what I have seen sometimes the wife is allowed in for part of it. - Every church court I have participated in has been very good experience. Usually the bishop goes with the person attending and is there for support. Typically, no matter what the decision is there are usually steps the person has to take for repentance unless the accusations ended up being false. He will be blessed, and he should not miss it.

I have a brother that was called into one and he didn't go as he figured he would be X'd and he was. It's been 20 years - Still hoping my brother comes back to activity one day. Maybe things would have been different if he went.

Wishing your friend the best!

[Dusty52]

You can always go and sit in the hall - the Stake President has the option of allowing anyone additional in the court. From what I have seen sometimes the wife is allowed in for part of it. - Every church court I have participated in has been very good experience. Usually the bishop goes with the person attending and is there for support. Typically, no matter what the decision is there are usually steps the person has to take for repentance unless the accusations ended up being false. He will be blessed, and he should not miss it.

I have a brother that was called into one and he didn't go as he figured he would be X'd and he was. It's been 20 years - Still hoping my brother comes back to activity one day. Maybe things would have been different if he went.

Wishing your friend the best!

Thank you
I'm sorry to hear about your brother and his situation
I guess it may of been different if he had of attended
I've been told they are courts/councils of love
and perhaps if he had attended he would of felt of this love!
20 years is a long time, is there anything you can think of that might bring him back?

[Robin Hood]

Just remember, it's not about punishment.
It's about exploring the best way to activate the reset button.

[e-eye2.0]

You can always go and sit in the hall - the Stake President has the option of allowing anyone additional in the court. From what I have seen sometimes the wife is allowed in for part of it. - Every church court I have participated in has been very good experience. Usually the bishop goes with the person attending and is there for support. Typically, no matter what the decision is there are usually steps the person has to take for repentance unless the accusations ended up being false. He will be blessed, and he should not miss it.

I have a brother that was called into one and he didn't go as he figured he would be X'd and he was. It's been 20 years - Still hoping my brother comes back to activity one day. Maybe things would have been different if he went.

Wishing your friend the best!

Thank you
I'm sorry to hear about your brother and his situation
I guess it may of been different if he had of attended
I've been told they are courts/councils of love
and perhaps if he had attended he would of felt of this love!
20 years is a long time, is there anything you can think of that might bring him back?

Well, this happened while I was on my mission and my parents went inactive while I was gone as well, and since I have had 2 other sisters leave the church pretty hard core. Out of all of this the one thing I do is just love them and pray for them. Often people who leave the church just need to feel loved and not judged.

[brianj]

You could go meet your friend at home. Drive him to the church and go inside with him. Wait with him in the hall until he's called into the room.
After he's interviewed he will be asked to step out, and he'll benefit from having someone there to help him with the anxiety. Then he'll be called back in to hear the decision and will probably benefit from having a friend with him afterward.