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Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 21st, 2018, 1:58 pm
by inho
Mormon Newsroom:
First Presidency Releases New Guidelines for Interviewing Youth
I think these are the biggest changes:
If a youth desires, he or she may invite a parent or another adult to be present when meeting with the bishop or one of his counselors.
When a member of a bishopric or stake presidency or another assigned leader meets with a child, youth, or woman, he or she should ask a parent or another adult to be in an adjoining room, foyer, or hall. If the person being interviewed desires, another adult may be invited to be present during the interview. Leaders should avoid all circumstances that could be misunderstood.
These guidelines have been discussed earlier, and there are
thread(s) about them here in LDSFF too. However, now these rules have been included into the Handbook 1.
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 21st, 2018, 3:36 pm
by ElizaRSkousen
Good changes. Thanks for sharing
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 21st, 2018, 5:04 pm
by Jesef
I have a good bishopric - but I am going to insist on my or my wife being present during our children's interviews henceforth, until they are nearly adults and can fend for themselves. I want to know what's being said and influence it or do damage control if necessary. Also, it protects those brethren (sometimes from themselves) - win/win.
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 21st, 2018, 5:08 pm
by inho
Jesef wrote: ↑June 21st, 2018, 5:04 pm
I have a good bishopric - but I am going to insist on my or my wife being present during our children's interviews henceforth, until they are nearly adults and can fend for themselves. I want to know what's being said and influence it or do damage control if necessary. Also, it protects those brethren (sometimes from themselves) - win/win.
I think that as a parent you should have the right to be present in the interviews. However, it is interesting that the rule says:
If a youth desires, he or she may invite a parent or another adult to be present when meeting with the bishop or one of his counselors.
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 21st, 2018, 5:14 pm
by Jesef
Technically, as a parent/legal guardian, we have a lot more say than that - the Church is overstepping there. Our duty and privilege to not only protect but oversee and preside over our children trumps any Church or ecclesiastical authority or figure. Period.
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 21st, 2018, 6:36 pm
by LukeAir2008
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 21st, 2018, 7:00 pm
by mgridle1
And it's a complete misunderstanding of the how and why sexual abuse happens. Abusers of children do NOT abuse just ANY child, they abuse only CERTAIN types of children. They abuse children who's relationship with other adult individuals is frayed, broken and destroyed. They scan the
relationships children have with other adults, family members, etc.
This is a meaningless BS policy that won't make a hill of beans difference. Why? Because the sexual abuser isn't going to abuse the kids who's parents already have a strong relationship with them, regardless of whether the parents are close by or not. It will NOT stop true predators b/c they will find another way, or another avenue to abuse VULNERABLE children.
Seriously, right sexual abusers don't just all the sudden start abusing some kid-they take their time bit by bit and test the relationship that child has with other adults.
This is just a BS policy made to make people feel safe and secure, but won't actually do anything substantive.
For example, I NEVER have and NEVER will worry about some dude sexually abusing my kids . . .why? B/c my kids know I've got their back-I'm stern, but loving and they just intrinsically know if anything out of the ordinary happens to them with another adult, I'm on it like white on rice! I've also taught them and trained them for the warnings signs to look out for dangerous adults, so they can discern for themselves. I'm also extremely attentive to the signals and signs other adults give off around my kids and I discern good/bad intentions.
Yes there are bad, horrible people out there, but they aren't just "random" bad, horrible, people. If you pay attention and are wise-you can spot the bad, horrible people from a mile away.
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 21st, 2018, 7:36 pm
by Serragon
mgridle1 wrote: ↑June 21st, 2018, 7:00 pm
And it's a complete misunderstanding of the how and why sexual abuse happens. Abusers of children do NOT abuse just ANY child, they abuse only CERTAIN types of children. They abuse children who's relationship with other adult individuals is frayed, broken and destroyed. They scan the
relationships children have with other adults, family members, etc.
This is a meaningless BS policy that won't make a hill of beans difference. Why? Because the sexual abuser isn't going to abuse the kids who's parents already have a strong relationship with them, regardless of whether the parents are close by or not. It will NOT stop true predators b/c they will find another way, or another avenue to abuse VULNERABLE children.
Seriously, right sexual abusers don't just all the sudden start abusing some kid-they take their time bit by bit and test the relationship that child has with other adults.
This is just a BS policy made to make people feel safe and secure, but won't actually do anything substantive.
For example, I NEVER have and NEVER will worry about some dude sexually abusing my kids . . .why? B/c my kids know I've got their back-I'm stern, but loving and they just intrinsically know if anything out of the ordinary happens to them with another adult, I'm on it like white on rice! I've also taught them and trained them for the warnings signs to look out for dangerous adults, so they can discern for themselves. I'm also extremely attentive to the signals and signs other adults give off around my kids and I discern good/bad intentions.
Yes there are bad, horrible people out there, but they aren't just "random" bad, horrible, people. If you pay attention and are wise-you can spot the bad, horrible people from a mile away.
I agree that we have developed a culture in the church where all men are looked at as predators who will attack if not supervised at all times. It gets old.
However, I look at these changes more as protecting priesthood leaders more than the children and women. Men have very few defenses in today's society against accusations of abuse. The only real defense is to not allow an opportunity for the accusations in the first place.
I have always conducted interviews with the parents present. I also tell the kids that the first place to go if you are having issues with testimony or sin is your parents, not the Bishop.
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 23rd, 2018, 2:57 am
by LukeAir2008
CelestialAngel wrote: ↑June 22nd, 2018, 12:59 pm
If my parent was present with me during interviews, I'd be less open about my problems.
If you told your Bishop/Stake President about anything explicitly sexual, or if they asked you explicitly sexual questions, then you may as well have taken in a pornographic movie and watched it together. The effect will have been exactly the same.
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 23rd, 2018, 4:03 am
by Juliet
I hated interviews as a young woman going into a room with an old man and having him shut the door and then start addressing issues of chastity. I felt like there was no escape and I also felt guilty. One time something inappropriate was said that made me feel very uncomfortable but I knew he didn't understand that he was making me feel uncomfortable so I forgave him. I nevertheless did not look forward to those interviews. They were stressful and made me feel sick. Being a young woman is hard because of all the hormone changes and your view of men is changing and it is just a difficult situation for a young woman.
A woman may ask to have another adult present in an interview
Posted: June 24th, 2018, 2:29 am
by inho
When a member of a bishopric or stake presidency or another assigned leader meets with a child, youth, or woman, he or she should ask a parent or another adult to be in an adjoining room, foyer, or hall. If the person being interviewed desires, another adult may be invited to be present during the interview. Leaders should avoid all circumstances that could be misunderstood.
So this is not just about youth interviews, but a woman may also request to have another adult present. Interesting.
Re: Handbook change: “Guidelines for Youth Interviews”
Posted: June 24th, 2018, 6:30 am
by LukeAir2008
It’s about discouraging Bishops and Stake Presidents from using these interviews as an opportunity for a free sex chat session.
At least one female member claims her Bishop was masturbating under the desk as he asked her to describe how she masturbated.