LDS Freedom Forum

Personal interviews are an important part of ministering to those in a congregation. They offer an opportunity for a leader to know an individual better and to help them live the gospel of Jesus Christ. Leaders are instructed to prepare spiritually so they can be guided by the Holy Ghost during these interviews. Leaders are provided with instructions in leadership resources and are asked to review them regularly.

Interviews are held for a number of reasons, including for temple recommends, priesthood quorum or Young Women class advancement, callings to serve in the Church or when a member requests to meet with a priesthood leader for personal guidance or to help them to repent from serious sin.

For youth, a bishop meets with a young person at least annually to teach, express confidence and support, and listen carefully. These interviews should be characterized by great love and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. They speak together about the testimony of the young woman or young man, their religious habits (such as prayer, church attendance and personal study of the scriptures) and their obedience to God's commandments. They may review together these teachings in the scriptures or other Church resources, such as For the Strength of Youth.

In these interviews, Church leaders are instructed to be sensitive to the character, circumstances and understanding of the young man or young woman. They are counseled to not be unnecessarily probing or invasive in their questions, but should allow a young person to share their experiences, struggles and feelings.

There are times when a discussion of moral cleanliness is appropriate—particularly if a young man or young woman feels a need to repent. In these instances leaders are counseled to adapt the discussion to the understanding of the individual and to exercise care not to encourage curiosity or experimentation.

Church leaders have a solemn responsibility to keep confidential all information they receive in confessions and interviews. When a young person is faced with serious sin or temptation, a bishop will likely encourage them to share (as appropriate) their struggles with their parents so they can pray for, teach and encourage the young man or young woman.
When a Church leader meets with a child, youth or woman, they are encouraged to ask a parent or another adult to be in an adjoining room, foyer or hall, and to avoid circumstances that may be misunderstood.

If, during an interview, a leader becomes aware of incidents of abuse, they are directed to call the Church's 24-hour help line to seek guidance from professional counselors and legal professionals in how to identify, report and respond to abuse. The leader may also refer them to professional counseling services, as needed.

When counseling with parents, leaders encourage them to remain close to their children, to regularly teach and counsel with them, asking questions about their growth, progress and worthiness. This allows leaders to act in a supporting role to the family and individual.
Our belief is that interviews should be meaningful and sacred opportunities for an individual to counsel with priesthood leaders, who represent the Savior in their ministry.

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pmWhat I think should be changed:

1. All youth interviews (less than 18 years of age) require at least 1 legal parent or guardian present in the interview.
... Currently parents/legal guardians have the choice if they wish to be in the interview and most wave that right or don't realize they can be in the interview.

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pm I couldn't find a thread discussing this issue. Youth Interviews have become a problem for the church but could be solved pretty fast but they doubled down on the current policy.

What I think should be changed:

1. All youth interviews (less than 18 years of age) require at least 1 legal parent or guardian present in the interview.

There is nothing that is being discussed with the bishop that the parents should not already know. This would also reduce a major concern that bishops are in a position to be alone with the youth. Currently parents/legal guardians have the choice if they wish to be in the interview and most wave that right or don't realize they can be in the interview.

2. Hold bishops legally accountable for confidential breaches.

Gossip is a huge issue in the church, especially in ward councils. Reinforce that while bishops are their for spiritual guidance but confidentiality must be an utmost priority otherwise this undermines authority and the repentance process.

If people cannot trust the bishops to keep their sins confidential, and I think we've already reached that point in many wards, people just would rather not confess.

mes5464 wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 1:49 pm The other edge of a policy like this is a child wouldn't have an opportunity to seek help with child abuse while parents are sitting right there with them. I think the real problem is our "infallibility doctrine" that we can't criticize the bishop or that church leader's can't lead us astray. Instead, children need to be trained that the commandments apply to everyone equally, and if bishop (anyone) attempts to violate the commands you have a right to resist and fight back. The abuse of power in a situation like this should be treated seriously and be a capital crime.

The flip side to this is, if I were a bishop, I would never meet with anyone (man, woman, or child) alone for fear false accusations. Now that I think about it, I would rather do interviews in a large room or outside, in clear view of witnesses but not so close that they can over hear what is being said. Maybe a video on closed circuit television.

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pm
2. Hold bishops legally accountable for confidential breaches.

Gossip is a huge issue in the church, especially in ward councils. Reinforce that while bishops are their for spiritual guidance but confidentiality must be an utmost priority otherwise this undermines authority and the repentance process.

If people cannot trust the bishops to keep their sins confidential, and I think we've already reached that point in many wards, people just would rather not confess.

mes5464 wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 1:49 pm

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pm
... I think the real problem is our "infallibility doctrine" that we can't criticize the bishop or that church leader's can't lead us astray. Instead, children need to be trained that the commandments apply to everyone equally, and if bishop (anyone) attempts to violate the commands you have a right to resist and fight back. The abuse of power in a situation like this should be treated seriously and be a capital crime.

...

Cathoic doctrine states the Pope is infallible; most Catholics don't believe it.

LDS doctrine states ALL humans are fallible; most LDS don't believe it.

Michelle wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 2:24 pm

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pm
2. Hold bishops legally accountable for confidential breaches.

Gossip is a huge issue in the church, especially in ward councils. Reinforce that while bishops are their for spiritual guidance but confidentiality must be an utmost priority otherwise this undermines authority and the repentance process.

If people cannot trust the bishops to keep their sins confidential, and I think we've already reached that point in many wards, people just would rather not confess.

My concern here is plenty of people overshare, I would hate for the bishop to get blamed for the gossip when it may have been someone else.

Michelle wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 2:24 pm

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pm
2. Hold bishops legally accountable for confidential breaches.

Gossip is a huge issue in the church, especially in ward councils. Reinforce that while bishops are their for spiritual guidance but confidentiality must be an utmost priority otherwise this undermines authority and the repentance process.

If people cannot trust the bishops to keep their sins confidential, and I think we've already reached that point in many wards, people just would rather not confess.

My concern here is plenty of people overshare, I would hate for the bishop to get blamed for the gossip when it may have been someone else.

BrianM wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 1:43 pm Also, I believe that the Church and members overall could do a better job at educating the youth about confession and the fact that most things can be handled between themselves and the Lord (I think it could help to greatly decrease the amount of shame and guilt that many youth live with due to ignorance and being taught incorrectly). The scriptures reveal a concept different than what many were taught to believe about repentance.

Alma 36:17 And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.

18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.

19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.

20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

mes5464 wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 1:49 pm

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pm I couldn't find a thread discussing this issue. Youth Interviews have become a problem for the church but could be solved pretty fast but they doubled down on the current policy.

What I think should be changed:

1. All youth interviews (less than 18 years of age) require at least 1 legal parent or guardian present in the interview.

There is nothing that is being discussed with the bishop that the parents should not already know. This would also reduce a major concern that bishops are in a position to be alone with the youth. Currently parents/legal guardians have the choice if they wish to be in the interview and most wave that right or don't realize they can be in the interview.

2. Hold bishops legally accountable for confidential breaches.

Gossip is a huge issue in the church, especially in ward councils. Reinforce that while bishops are their for spiritual guidance but confidentiality must be an utmost priority otherwise this undermines authority and the repentance process.

If people cannot trust the bishops to keep their sins confidential, and I think we've already reached that point in many wards, people just would rather not confess.

I disagree with number 1. Even a child is entitled to seek help from the bishop without a parent hovering over them. Like temple interviews or advancement interviews. They are more likely to open up if their parent isn't there.

Meili wrote: ↑March 13th, 2018, 10:29 am

mes5464 wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 1:49 pm

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pm I couldn't find a thread discussing this issue. Youth Interviews have become a problem for the church but could be solved pretty fast but they doubled down on the current policy.

What I think should be changed:

1. All youth interviews (less than 18 years of age) require at least 1 legal parent or guardian present in the interview.

There is nothing that is being discussed with the bishop that the parents should not already know. This would also reduce a major concern that bishops are in a position to be alone with the youth. Currently parents/legal guardians have the choice if they wish to be in the interview and most wave that right or don't realize they can be in the interview.

2. Hold bishops legally accountable for confidential breaches.

Gossip is a huge issue in the church, especially in ward councils. Reinforce that while bishops are their for spiritual guidance but confidentiality must be an utmost priority otherwise this undermines authority and the repentance process.

If people cannot trust the bishops to keep their sins confidential, and I think we've already reached that point in many wards, people just would rather not confess.

I disagree with number 1. Even a child is entitled to seek help from the bishop without a parent hovering over them. Like temple interviews or advancement interviews. They are more likely to open up if their parent isn't there.

I agree. I think this problem would easily be resolved by bishops being required to consult parents first if they are the one asking for an interview but not being required to do so if the teen is the one asking for an interview. I think that sort of policy would provide the right balance to enable teens to consult with their bishops without parents feeling like they are overstepping their place.

Jamescm wrote: ↑March 13th, 2018, 12:12 pm

Meili wrote: ↑March 13th, 2018, 10:29 am

mes5464 wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 1:49 pm

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pm I couldn't find a thread discussing this issue. Youth Interviews have become a problem for the church but could be solved pretty fast but they doubled down on the current policy.

What I think should be changed:

1. All youth interviews (less than 18 years of age) require at least 1 legal parent or guardian present in the interview.

There is nothing that is being discussed with the bishop that the parents should not already know. This would also reduce a major concern that bishops are in a position to be alone with the youth. Currently parents/legal guardians have the choice if they wish to be in the interview and most wave that right or don't realize they can be in the interview.

2. Hold bishops legally accountable for confidential breaches.

Gossip is a huge issue in the church, especially in ward councils. Reinforce that while bishops are their for spiritual guidance but confidentiality must be an utmost priority otherwise this undermines authority and the repentance process.

If people cannot trust the bishops to keep their sins confidential, and I think we've already reached that point in many wards, people just would rather not confess.

I disagree with number 1. Even a child is entitled to seek help from the bishop without a parent hovering over them. Like temple interviews or advancement interviews. They are more likely to open up if their parent isn't there.

I agree. I think this problem would easily be resolved by bishops being required to consult parents first if they are the one asking for an interview but not being required to do so if the teen is the one asking for an interview. I think that sort of policy would provide the right balance to enable teens to consult with their bishops without parents feeling like they are overstepping their place.

Then there could be the circumstance that a teen asks for an interview with a bishop, then later accuses the bishop of having initiated an unsupervised interview.

The problem behind all of this is that a system can not be created which flawlessly governs those who need excessive governing in the first place. Unfortunately, people with an agenda against the Church and snowflakes who refuse to be admonished in any thing pertaining to Church doctrine or responsibilities are going to grief the leaders no matter how they try to protect themselves. If we're at a state in which a bishop can not have a one on one interview with another person regardless of sex or age, we're at a state that can not be sustained indefinitely. Thankfully, the Head of the Church will (hopefully)soon be here and we won't have to sustain it for long, if at all.

Gage wrote: ↑March 13th, 2018, 1:26 pm I am still trying to understand why some think it is necessary to have a parent present?

Sunain wrote: ↑March 11th, 2018, 12:56 pm What I think should be changed:

1. All youth interviews (less than 18 years of age) require at least 1 legal parent or guardian present in the interview.

There is nothing that is being discussed with the bishop that the parents should not already know. This would also reduce a major concern that bishops are in a position to be alone with the youth. Currently parents/legal guardians have the choice if they wish to be in the interview and most wave that right or don't realize they can be in the interview.

2. Hold bishops legally accountable for confidential breaches.

Gossip is a huge issue in the church, especially in ward councils. Reinforce that while bishops are their for spiritual guidance but confidentiality must be an utmost priority otherwise this undermines authority and the repentance process.

If people cannot trust the bishops to keep their sins confidential, and I think we've already reached that point in many wards, people just would rather not confess.

Meili wrote: ↑March 14th, 2018, 11:35 am

Gage wrote: ↑March 13th, 2018, 1:26 pm I am still trying to understand why some think it is necessary to have a parent present?

I think people might have been confused by the question since this has been talked about extensively. In a nutshell, there are people who are concerned about bishops discussing things of a sexual nature with their teens in private interviews. Many teens have been introduced to new sexual terms in bishop's interviews and many parents and teens are apparently very uncomfortable with the situation. Some parents have even been told that they are not allowed to sit in the interview with their kid. That's why they are trying to change it to require a parent in the interview.

Gage wrote: ↑March 14th, 2018, 6:31 pm

Meili wrote: ↑March 14th, 2018, 11:35 am

Gage wrote: ↑March 13th, 2018, 1:26 pm I am still trying to understand why some think it is necessary to have a parent present?

I think people might have been confused by the question since this has been talked about extensively. In a nutshell, there are people who are concerned about bishops discussing things of a sexual nature with their teens in private interviews. Many teens have been introduced to new sexual terms in bishop's interviews and many parents and teens are apparently very uncomfortable with the situation. Some parents have even been told that they are not allowed to sit in the interview with their kid. That's why they are trying to change it to require a parent in the interview.

Are the young people uncomfortable about new sexual terms or uncomfortable talking about their sexual experience? Most young people confess because they got ratted out, otherwise they lie.