Outward signs of unhappiness

[passionflower]

Perhaps then, instead of pointing at a specific list of superficial things that signify unhappiness to you, the list should just be expanded to:

1. A preoccupation with anything superficial, circumstantial, and external as a means to obtain validation or worth. (that preoccupation would include judging others based on those external things)

In other words, the opposite of - Seek ye first the Kingdom of God (which Kingdom Christ tells you is found within yourself and not by looking to all these external things), and all other things that are needful will be added.

-delete-

[Sirocco]

I donno, I think such was offset by how difficult life was back then, I don't really think any generation was any happier then the others...

Well maybe my generation is less happy, they got all the problems and none of the successes from the previous ones.
But that's speculation.

[Ezra]

Beards could be on the list as well as shaving .

Well that narrows it down a bit.

Anything could be on the list. Some people who are unhappy wear a smile all day to mask their unhappiness.

The list is so we can bounce ideas of how to help them and ourselfs overcome it.

[Fiannan]

In every culture, tribal to nation-state, young women entering their reproductive years yearn to fit in. Why? Because they want to be seen as having the traits that will attract the attention of desirable males. Insecurity is totally natural.

The fashion industry, Hollywood and cosmetics all work hand-in-hand to reinforce the idea that women are incomplete. This means women will shop for products that make them complete, neither fully understanding their instinctive drives or the manipulation of those drives by the elite of western society. This leads to emptiness in young women both in and out of the Church. I am especially concerned in regards to young LDS teens because on the one hand they want to make themselves attractive, and of course buy into the norms of US and western culture, but then are scolded for doing so by busy-bodies at Church or school administrators in Utah telling them they are exposing too much when they aren't. Talk about creating an emotional tug-of-war in their minds; and this may lead many to feel unhappy and like they no longer want to fit in...and the power of our consumeristic culture has far greater resources aimed at pulling them away from the Gospel than the Church. Of course we could integrate lessons into our classes exposing this, and attempting to strengthen our youth, but I doubt that would get past correlation.

[passionflower]

In the wilderness youth program I worked the girls were not allowed makup out in the desert. They were all natural. And beautiful. I was in charge of there graduations from the program and was always amazed and saddened by how quickly as soon as the girls could they would poor on the makup. Which made them to me ugly.

Its putting on a mask. Hiding who they really are. And I for one really liked who they really are. And I would tell them that.

-delete-

[Ezra]

I donno, I think such was offset by how difficult life was back then, I don't really think any generation was any happier then the others...

Well maybe my generation is less happy, they got all the problems and none of the successes from the previous ones.
But that's speculation.

I think they were happier. As they had more time to think and discover the truth.
With all our modern (distractions) technology we don't take time to stop smell the roses and think and feel and fix ourselfs and our thinking. To discover truths. So our current worlds population is the most unhappy there has ever been.

[Sirocco]

I donno, I think such was offset by how difficult life was back then, I don't really think any generation was any happier then the others...

Well maybe my generation is less happy, they got all the problems and none of the successes from the previous ones.
But that's speculation.

I think they were happier. As they had more time to think and discover the truth.
With all our modern (distractions) technology we don't take time to stop smell the roses and think and feel and fix ourselfs and our thinking. To discover truths. So our current worlds population is the most unhappy there has ever been.

I could agree with that, with our crazy world I could never do things like make a marriage work or such things.
People are nuts, and I am nuts too...

[Ezra]

In the wilderness youth program I worked the girls were not allowed makup out in the desert. They were all natural. And beautiful. I was in charge of there graduations from the program and was always amazed and saddened by how quickly as soon as the girls could they would poor on the makup. Which made them to me ugly.

Its putting on a mask. Hiding who they really are. And I for one really liked who they really are. And I would tell them that.

And I bet you could say something about hairstyles, too. Ezra. And thanks for this thread. This is not a superficial topic at all.

It is absolutely proverbial how women will go to the salon to get their hair cut, restyled, permed dyed, etc, when they are under stress. Somehow they have come to believe that if they change their hair in some way, they will be happier, feel renewed, younger, or even be a different person, etc. And sometimes this works, but at a great expense, and the lady probably did not look bad in the first place.

Of course, I am all for good grooming and a comely appearance, but this can be more simply(and cheaply) attained by cleanliness, simple clothing (but well cared for), and a good character showing through a sweet and honest expression.

It's there crutch.

The idea and judgments that if i do this or that or get this or that will make me this or that is all crutches.

Yes in the moment they make a small diffrence. But it's not real. And even so once the crutch is used and perpose filled Do we continue using it?

No.

IT then only hinders us.

Those mental crutches we use to make ourselfs feel better in the moment. And some times physical . is the twist that satan has done to us. He encourages that way of thinking and encourages us to keep thinking that way.

So we would be in and endless cycle of trying to be happy while packing around our own problems that are supposed to be the solution.

all of these ideas "the crutches" come from judgments of ourselfs. And for most these judgments of self they see them as good judgments. As good things. They don't realize the pain it's causing then

[Squally]

Unclear expression with bad grammar and misspellings are a badge of unhappiness.

[Ezra]

Unclear expression with bad grammar and misspellings are a badge of unhappiness.

Please explain

[ajax]

Looking for signs of unhappiness in others?

Ya it was my job. Watching the kids in the wilderness program I work at for 12 years.

You can learn a ton watching others do it wrong.

Point missed

A person looking for signs of unhappiness in others IS an outward sign of unhappiness in that person, e.g. your OP. ;)

[WhereCanITurn4Peace]

There is much I don't agree with in this thread, however, it is easy to see that there is an obsession with the external in our world and this can shift our hearts and minds away from God and spiritual strivings.

For those concerned about today's conventions of female beauty, I will say that I am grateful not to be living in the Victorian age or the antebellum South when ladies were considered improperly dressed without their corsets. This lovely contraption could cause shallow breathing, fainting, skin problems, indigestion, constipation or worse...shifted and/or ruptured internal organs.

Also, check out the once massively popular practice of foot-binding in China. For around ten centuries, successive generations of Chinese women endured a practice when, as children, their feet were systematically broken and shaped in such a way that they resembled "lotuses". Prepare to be horrified if you decide to look into it.

[Ezra]

Looking for signs of unhappiness in others?

Ya it was my job. Watching the kids in the wilderness program I work at for 12 years.

You can learn a ton watching others do it wrong.

Point missed

A person looking for signs of unhappiness in others IS an outward sign of unhappiness in that person, e.g. your OP. ;)

Yes it defently could be. It's all baised off the intent of the individual.

Isant it easyer to learn from other mistakes then our own?
Can we learn about ourselfs by learning about others?

I thinking that you are implying I'm asking people to judge others. And that is not my intent. I'm trying to get people to realize the judgements we have of others. Are judgments we have of ourselfs.

The unhappiness that we have are formed from an Unexamined life. The judgments of others are directly tied to our own unhappiness.

the natrual man judge others. Realizing this and using that knowledge to then fix yourself and your judgements of self and others is what I'm trying to bring about.

Why judge me for trying to do this?

Ajax every knowledge is line upon line as I'm sure you know your a wise guy.

If people are not at an understanding that "you " have. In order to bring them to a deeper understanding you have to start on their level.

We judge others. This causes us and them pain. We judge ourselfs this causes us and others pain.

Taking those judgments once realized and using them to break down and discard those judgments and pains is wise.

It can start with the realization that we wear our pain on the outside. So I'm starting there. And moving on from there for anyone who wishes to move on from there Towards a deeper understanding.

[ajax]

My comment was tongue in cheek.

[Ezra]

My comment was tongue in cheek.

Hummmmm why do you feel the need to do that to be happy?
Lol

[Matchmaker]

Returning to your "drug of choice." In my case, it is compulsive overeating accompanied by a significant weight gain.

When I am unhappy, I stop dyeing my hair and wearing makeup. I take less interest in my physical appearance because I'm less interested in me and what is going on around me. It sounds like depression, and it may be, but it really stems from being unhappy. I also tend to be overly critical of others, as well as of myself, and lose much of my hopeful outlook for the future. Things that once interested me no longer hold my interest.

My inability to deal appropriately with trouble surrounding my significant other is usually at the root of my unhappiness.

[Desert Roses]

Returning to your "drug of choice." In my case, it is compulsive overeating accompanied by a significant weight gain.

When I am unhappy, I stop dyeing my hair and wearing makeup. I take less interest in my physical appearance because I'm less interested in me and what is going on around me. It sounds like depression, and it may be, but it really stems from being unhappy. I also tend to be overly critical of others, as well as of myself, and lose much of my hopeful outlook for the future. Things that once interested me no longer hold my interest.

My inability to deal appropriately with trouble surrounding my significant other is usually at the root of my unhappiness.

One of the most popular in the LDS culture. It's legal, easily accessible, and socially acceptable--heck, even socially encouraged. just see what the first thing offered to someone for problems. (Can we bring you food?)

[braingrunt]

16 .... Because the daughters of Zion are haughty
...
18 In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon,
....
etc (buncha pretty things listed)

Now I don't claim you're all haughty, but I do see girls "make themselves up" for bravery. The bravery of those things might someday be gone and be a stumblingblock. Eh, it'd been better we never went down that road.

tight corset etc were dumb too.

BY on fashion. HILARIOUS

and permit me to say, still further, upon the subject of the fashion of cutting cloth and putting it together again, that it is most useless, unbecoming and ridiculous. The present custom of many is such that I would as soon see a squaw go through the streets with a very little on, as to see clothing piled up until it reaches, perhaps, the top of the hedge or fence its wearer is passing. If I do not say much about such customs and fashions, I shall probably skip over some naughty words. :)) In my feelings they are positively ridiculous, they are so useless and unbecoming. Do you recollect a fashion there was a few years ago, that has now nearly ceased, when a woman could not walk through the streets without holding her clothes two feet in front of her if her arm was long enough? I shall not say what I thought of those who followed this fashion. Now it is on the other side, and I do not know but they will get two humps on their backs, they have one now, and if they get to be dromedaries it will be no wonder, not the least in the world. :)) I recollect a fashion of cutting up cloth some forty years ago, that was very peculiar. A lady would go into a store and say to a merchant, "I would like to get a dress pattern this morning." "Very well, what will you have?" "Oh, bring down your goods and show them. This suits pretty well! I think I will take this." "Madame," says the merchant, "If you will buy the sleeves, I will give you the dress." This, of course, is jocosely said. I refer now to what was called the "mutton-legged" sleeve—by comparison it took seven yards for the sleeves, and three for the dress...

... I would like to advise the Latter-day Saints to avoid, these foolish customs and habits. Let them pass by and not follow them; they do not belong to us. I would like to repeat to the ladies What we have said hundreds and thousands of times—they should make their own head-dresses and fashions, independent of all the rest of the inhabitants of the earth. Pay no attention to what others do, it is no matter what they do, or how they dress. Latter-day Saints should dress in that plain, neat, comely manner that will be pleasing and prudent, in every sense of the word, before the Lord, and try and please him that we serve, the Being that we acknowledge as our God. Not flaunting, flirting and gossiping, as a great many are, and thinking continually of their dresses, and of this, that and the other that will minister to and gratify their vanity...

=))

I don't say we're guilty of exactly the same thing, but still his point is valid; mocking the dumb ways people are influenced in their appearance by fashion and trend. Which should be largely ignored, and we should dress in ways which are modest, sensible (ie not corsets or bustles or what have you), plain (not necessarily dowdy), but still neat and comely (ie it looks good at least to someone who isn't a slave to latest fashion.

[Joel]

Scrupulosity

[marc]

Interesting quote from BY..."neat and comely." He read his BoM that day.

Alma 1:27 And they did impart of their substance, every man according to that which he had, to the poor, and the needy, and the sick, and the afflicted; and they did not wear costly apparel, yet they were neat and comely.