Outward signs of unhappiness

[Ezra]

I'm curious if anyone eles on here has had this thought Or observation. That there are characteristics and tail tail signs of an unhappy person.

They wear their unhappiness like a badge quite often.

So my question is what are some outward signs that you have seen that indicate unhappiness?

[ajax]

Looking for signs of unhappiness in others?

[Sirocco]

Well I could certainly give some signs I show, from what others tell me.
Though often I appear far more unhappy then I actually am, usually I am in a sort of mild annoyance (or like when I go to church and its too cold, I look miserable- even if its luncheon day and I am having a wonderful chat with one of the missionaries) or if I ate McDonalds.
But more to the point, I keep a quick walk, an angry sort of look to my face, generally don't look at people.

[Ezra]

Looking for signs of unhappiness in others?

Ya it was my job. Watching the kids in the wilderness program I work at for 12 years.

You can learn a ton watching others do it wrong.

[Ezra]

I guess I will name a few.

Tatoos.
Dyed hair.
Piercings.
Plastic surgery.
Red sports cars.lol you know what I'm saying.

[Ezra]

I would even say make up for women.

[Sirocco]

I guess I will name a few.

Tatoos.
Dyed hair.
Piercings.
Plastic surgery.
Red sports cars.lol you know what I'm saying.

Dying my hair was always too much work, I just have wigs :))

[Ezra]

I guess I will name a few.

Tatoos.
Dyed hair.
Piercings.
Plastic surgery.
Red sports cars.lol you know what I'm saying.

Dying my hair was always too much work, I just have wigs :))

Really????

[Sirocco]

I guess I will name a few.

Tatoos.
Dyed hair.
Piercings.
Plastic surgery.
Red sports cars.lol you know what I'm saying.

Dying my hair was always too much work, I just have wigs :))

Really????

Yeah, though wigs are only for anime conventions and comicon...I don't wear a wig in public... lol

[Ezra]

Right on.

[Sirocco]

Right on.

I have a lot of cooky collections and interests, I remember I, think I scared one of the missionaries really badly when I was getting something from my bag and a tiny coffin fell out (holding a little vampire doll)
I always went from church to the magic the gathering store back home... I felt bad but it was sort of funny. =))

[Ezra]

What I wanted to start a conversation of was the outward signs. And why.

Why are so many people driven to wear those badges of unhappiness? Like with tatoos for life.

It's suprising how you can get little bags of wisdom from the craziest places. Like the Harry potter movie where he finds the mirror that shows him what he most desires. Dumbledore explains that the happiest person would look in the mirror and only see himself just as he is.

I found that to be very true. People change themselfs makup tatoos piercings fancy cloths cars and so on because of a unhappiness that they have about them selfs and they are trying to make themselfs feel better. But that's not the answer.

We can see others problems and solutions way easyer then we can see our own. So again.

What are those outward unhappiness that we have noticed. And what can we do to help each other change them?

[Sirocco]

What I wanted to start a conversation of was the outward signs. And why.

Why are so many people driven to wear those badges of unhappiness? Like with tatoos for life.

It's suprising how you can get little bags of wisdom from the craziest places. Like the Harry potter movie where he finds the mirror that shows him what he most desires. Dumbledore explains that the happiest person would look in the mirror and only see himself just as he is.

I found that to be very true. People change themselfs makup tatoos piercings fancy cloths cars and so on because of a unhappiness that they have about them selfs and they are trying to make themselfs feel better. But that's not the answer.

We can see others problems and solutions way easyer then we can see our own. So again.

What are those outward unhappiness that we have noticed. And what can we do to help each other change them?

I think a lot of people don't know what would make them happy. the same thing that might make you happy might make me miserable and vice versa

[Dannyk]

I guess I will name a few.

Tatoos.
Dyed hair.
Piercings.
Plastic surgery.
Red sports cars.lol you know what I'm saying.

Apparently you are serious. I'm not suggesting that these outward signs are evidence of happiness, but I definitely don't agree with you that they are signs of unhappiness. It is most certainly a focus on the superficial, which cannot ever bring true happiness...but there are many ways to focus on the superficial while still being more religiously/culturally acceptable.

The pharisee's are a great example. It's why Christ called them whited sepulchers...because from a religiously acceptable superficial level, they were doing everything right, and yet they were inside a rotting corpse.

Though I don't love the comparison, and believe it is made too often for the wrongs reasons, one need only look at the oft repeated statistic of Utah have the highest anti-depressant use. Not a lot of tattoos there, not a lot of piercings, a whole bunch of conforming to religiously accepted appearances, there is definitely some plastic surgery and dyed hair, etc.

Point being, your attempt at pointing out signs of unhappiness by vilifying trends that are not acceptable in your religious community is just silly. People can fit every religious mold the "For The Strength of Youth" manual points out, and still be absolutely miserable, exactly because they are focusing on these superficial things that you apparently think matter, instead of doing the actual inner work.

Maybe 15 years ago you would have added beards to the list...fortunately we're realizing how lame it is to base someone's spirituality on the type of facial hair they sport. One less thing to judge the worth or potential of a human being. We've got a ways to go.

[Ezra]

I got my tattoos to make my MOM unhappy.
But I'm gonna just tell you you're wrong on a lot of these Ezra...some people (myself included) don't do these things when they are sad....they just like to decorate and make things pretty.
When I'm sad i eat this

PicsArt_1424931642537.jpg

And i wear makeup because if i don't i look like an eleven year old.

So you were so happy about your mom you got a tatoo?

Your so happy about your looks that you judge as being an eleven year old that you wear makup?

[Ezra]

I guess I will name a few.

Tatoos.
Dyed hair.
Piercings.
Plastic surgery.
Red sports cars.lol you know what I'm saying.

Apparently you are serious. I'm not suggesting that these outward signs are evidence of happiness, but I definitely don't agree with you that they are signs of unhappiness. It is most certainly a focus on the superficial, which cannot ever bring true happiness...but there are many ways to focus on the superficial while still being more religiously/culturally acceptable.

The pharisee's are a great example. It's why Christ called them whited sepulchers...because from a religiously acceptable superficial level, they were doing everything right, and yet they were inside a rotting corpse.

Though I don't love the comparison, and believe it is made too often for the wrongs reasons, one need only look at the oft repeated statistic of Utah have the highest anti-depressant use. Not a lot of tattoos there, not a lot of piercings, a whole bunch of conforming to religiously accepted appearances, there is definitely some plastic surgery and dyed hair, etc.

Point being, your attempt at pointing out signs of unhappiness by vilifying trends that are not acceptable in your religious community is just silly. People can fit every religious mold the "For The Strength of Youth" manual points out, and still be absolutely miserable, exactly because they are focusing on these superficial things that you apparently think matter, instead of doing the actual inner work.

Maybe 15 years ago you would have added beards to the list...fortunately we're realizing how lame it is to base someone's spirituality on the type of facial hair they sport. One less thing to judge the worth or potential of a human being. We've got a ways to go.

Beards could be on the list as well as shaving .

You are seeing signs as well with utah being on so many anti depressants.

I'm just asking for the signs so that we can talk about how to overcome it.

Many people wear there signs of unhapiness without knowing it.

Like I said as a badge.

Like pink death last comment. She justifys her reasons without really considering the why.

Satan wants us unhappy. So he twists out thinking to were we will keep it hold onto it and defend our unhappiness. Instead of understanding it and overcoming it.

[braingrunt]

I got my tattoos to make my MOM unhappy.
But I'm gonna just tell you you're wrong on a lot of these Ezra...some people (myself included) don't do these things when they are sad....they just like to decorate and make things pretty.
When I'm sad i eat this

PicsArt_1424931642537.jpg

And i wear makeup because if i don't i look like an eleven year old.

So you were so happy about your mom you got a tatoo?

Your so happy about your looks that you judge as being an eleven year old that you wear makup?

Well played.

[braingrunt]

Apparently guys are starting to wear makeup now. If we play our cards right we can start to worry about our looks as much as most women do.

Girls, honestly, you getting roped into wearing makeup was bad sauce. I don't know if the fault belongs to men or to women, but either way, artificial standards of beauty are now embedded into some men, but in my guess, moreso into women. My personal angle is that I like the way my wife looks without makeup, but in certain situations she's too self conscious to completely forego. Actually she's quite good on that front compared to most, wears very little, but can't give up that last little bit.

I hereby prophesy that if you girls had never given into the trend, you'd at the present day have less to worry about, and still have guys drooling over you. Guaranteed.

Please stop this growing trend (alarmingly fast) to get boob jobs, before it's too late.

[Dannyk]

Perhaps then, instead of pointing at a specific list of superficial things that signify unhappiness to you, the list should just be expanded to:

1. A preoccupation with anything superficial, circumstantial, and external as a means to obtain validation or worth. (that preoccupation would include judging others based on those external things)

In other words, the opposite of - Seek ye first the Kingdom of God (which Kingdom Christ tells you is found within yourself and not by looking to all these external things), and all other things that are needful will be added.

[shadow]

Beards could be on the list as well as shaving .

Well that narrows it down a bit.

[braingrunt]

Perhaps then, instead of pointing at a specific list of superficial things that signify unhappiness to you, the list should just be expanded to:

1. A preoccupation with anything superficial, circumstantial, and external as a means to obtain validation or worth. (that preoccupation would include judging others based on those external things)

In other words, the opposite of - Seek ye first the Kingdom of God (which Kingdom Christ tells you is found within yourself and not by looking to all these external things), and all other things that are needful will be added.

Mostly agree. If I can recognize someone as preoccupied with something external, is that judging in a negative way, or a sign of my preoccupation? Recognizing the truths in people's lives gives you extra opportunities to help them. And when choosing a mate, is it unreasonable for a person to try to weigh the other person's preoccupation, against their other good traits? I think not.

[Desert Roses]

I see obesity as one of those signs, very frequently. Making self-destructive choices of any kind--drugs, drink, excess food, gambling, sexual preoccupation--

Anything that takes our minds away from our feelings and numb us so we don't feel the whispering of the Spirit or the Savior's love for us (which would take the unhappiness away, but many like their misery)

I think they wear it outside for several reasons. 1) Others notice and give attention they believe they can only get by this outward sign. 2) It helps them avoid the real feeling of shame/guilt/loss/anger/ etc. that they believe will be too much to bear. 3) They can use it to hide themselves from the true glory they have, believing that they do not "deserve" the good feeling of acceptance for who they really are...and the list could go on.

[Ezra]

Perhaps then, instead of pointing at a specific list of superficial things that signify unhappiness to you, the list should just be expanded to:

1. A preoccupation with anything superficial, circumstantial, and external as a means to obtain validation or worth. (that preoccupation would include judging others based on those external things)

In other words, the opposite of - Seek ye first the Kingdom of God (which Kingdom Christ tells you is found within yourself and not by looking to all these external things), and all other things that are needful will be added.

Yes defenetly. it's all line upon line though. It's easyer to find your own by looking at others.

When we point fingers at others. Which is easy to do. it helps us be able to see our own. As the things we notice in others is the mirror that we really see of ourselfs.

What bugs us in others is what we ourselfs don't like about ourselfs.
But just looking at ourselfs we tend to miss those things. We wear blinders when looking at ourselfs. Justify and blame.

Knowing this we can use our surroundings to help us break free of those blinders we naturally have when looking at our self.

The end goal is to as you said seek the kingdom of God which is in yourself. By better understanding why we judge others.

Those judgements of others stem from our own judgements of ourselfs. Which most people have a hard time realizing what our own self judgments are without having the mirror of others to see them.

A list list helps us get to that next level of understanding that you are already on.

[passionflower]

Apparently guys are starting to wear makeup now. If we play our cards right we can start to worry about our looks as much as most women do.

Girls, honestly, you getting roped into wearing makeup was bad sauce. I don't know if the fault belongs to men or to women, but either way, artificial standards of beauty are now embedded into some men, but in my guess, moreso into women. My personal angle is that I like the way my wife looks without makeup, but in certain situations she's too self conscious to completely forego. Actually she's quite good on that front compared to most, wears very little, but can't give up that last little bit.

I hereby prophesy that if you girls had never given into the trend, you'd at the present day have less to worry about, and still have guys drooling over you. Guaranteed.

Please stop this growing trend (alarmingly fast) to get boob jobs, before it's too late.

-delete-

[Ezra]

In the wilderness youth program I worked the girls were not allowed makup out in the desert. They were all natural. And beautiful. I was in charge of there graduations from the program and was always amazed and saddened by how quickly as soon as the girls could they would poor on the makup. Which made them to me ugly.

Its putting on a mask. Hiding who they really are. And I for one really liked who they really are. And I would tell them that.