Leaders Going Over Parents' Authority

[SAM]

Also, how appropriate is it for a child to be asked personal questions alone one-on-one with an adult without a parent present? I imagine I'm not the only one who felt uncomfortable when I was interviewed by church leaders as a youth by myself in a room alone with them.

I really wish this weren't church practice. It's dangerous for both parties. I realize less confessions would happen, but I don't know how else you can protect the children / youth or the bishop. When my daughter was recently interviewed for her baptism my husband and I were in there with her. However, I know this changes when they reach YW / YM age. I think at least the door should remain open a crack. I don't think we'll let our children be interviewed alone with a bishopric member when they reach that age. I never had anything but wonderful and honorable men interview me, but I know not everyone has been that lucky, and, unfortunately, there are some youth that would falsely accuse bishops. It's just too scary these days. It's hard to trust anyone. I'd even venture to say a woman shouldn't go into an interview alone with a man unless that door is cracked. Super tough situation though when sensitive and confidential information is being discussed. I don't know a good solution.

In my ward the bishop always has the clerk in the adjoining room while he interviews anyone. The clerk cannot overhear discussions but it does prevent any sort of appearance of evil that might occur.

Yeah, they have been doing that in my last few wards, and I think it helps, but it's still not as foolproof. Lots of things can quietly happen behind closed doors.

[Obrien]

Also, how appropriate is it for a child to be asked personal questions alone one-on-one with an adult without a parent present? I imagine I'm not the only one who felt uncomfortable when I was interviewed by church leaders as a youth by myself in a room alone with them.

I really wish this weren't church practice. It's dangerous for both parties. I realize less confessions would happen, but I don't know how else you can protect the children / youth or the bishop. When my daughter was recently interviewed for her baptism my husband and I were in there with her. However, I know this changes when they reach YW / YM age. I think at least the door should remain open a crack. I don't think we'll let our children be interviewed alone with a bishopric member when they reach that age. I never had anything but wonderful and honorable men interview me, but I know not everyone has been that lucky, and, unfortunately, there are some youth that would falsely accuse bishops. It's just too scary these days. It's hard to trust anyone. I'd even venture to say a woman shouldn't go into an interview alone with a man unless that door is cracked. Super tough situation though when sensitive and confidential information is being discussed. I don't know a good solution.

SAM - I think I have a great solution. If you feel the need to confess your sins, go to your closet and confess them the Jesus. He is the one person who can forgive you for your sins, so I would recommend skipping the intermediary by going straight to the source. I haven't been to a bishop to confess anything in years, and I'll probably never go again. I am a sinner, but a bishop can't relieve me of that burden, anyway, so why put him in that situation? Go to the Lord. He's got broad shoulders.

As far as interviews with your children go, I recently had the same situation with a baptism interview. I stayed for it (see post above). I stayed for the recent interview my 11 year old had before becoming a deacon. Assuming my children want to have an interview with the bishop, I will stay for each and every one until they are adults. If they don't want to go talk to the bishop, I'm down with that, but I will want to know why. I have advised my adult children that they are under no obligation to go to an interview with church leaders unless they want to, and if they do go in, they are equal to the "authority" . I've told them that if a question is too personal or if things get squirrely, they always have the right to leave. I encourage them to take responsibility for their thoughts, emotions, actions and ultimately, their salvation.

[tmac]

Assuming my children want to have an interview with the bishop, I will stay for each and every one until they are adults. If they don't want to go talk to the bishop, I'm down with that, but I will want to know why. I have advised my adult children that they are under no obligation to go to an interview with church leaders unless they want to, and if they do go in, they are equal to the "authority" . I've told them that if a question is too personal or if things get squirrely, they always have the right to leave. I encourage them to take responsibility for their thoughts, emotions, actions and ultimately, their salvation.

A voice of reason. Well said, Obrien. Thank you. Frankly, I see no reason why the same elements of fundamental rights and due process should not apply in church government as apply in "state" government. No reason. If those are correct principles, they are correct principles, and universally applicable to all such situations where individual liberties are put in jeopardy -- including by church government.

[Obrien]

Assuming my children want to have an interview with the bishop, I will stay for each and every one until they are adults. If they don't want to go talk to the bishop, I'm down with that, but I will want to know why. I have advised my adult children that they are under no obligation to go to an interview with church leaders unless they want to, and if they do go in, they are equal to the "authority" . I've told them that if a question is too personal or if things get squirrely, they always have the right to leave. I encourage them to take responsibility for their thoughts, emotions, actions and ultimately, their salvation.

A voice of reason. Well said, Obrien. Thank you. Frankly, I see no reason why the same elements of fundamental rights and due process should not apply in church government as apply in "state" government. No reason. If those are correct principles, they are correct principles, and universally applicable to all such situations where individual liberties are put in jeopardy -- including by church government.

Thanks for the kind comment, tmac. Many posters agree with you, with one small change...
"A voice of Treason...."

It's interesting to consider how the scope of "authority" that both the church and state wants to exercise over us has grown exponentially since 1864. There are probably hidden comparisons there to make aplenty.

[A Random Phrase]

Having a parent present not only protects the child from predator priesthood holders ... it protects the priesthood leader from false accusations of sexual comments/advances/etc.

Also, how appropriate is it for a child to be asked personal questions alone one-on-one with an adult without a parent present? I imagine I'm not the only one who felt uncomfortable when I was interviewed by church leaders as a youth by myself in a room alone with them.

I really wish this weren't church practice. It's dangerous for both parties. I realize less confessions would happen, but I don't know how else you can protect the children / youth or the bishop. When my daughter was recently interviewed for her baptism my husband and I were in there with her. However, I know this changes when they reach YW / YM age. I think at least the door should remain open a crack. I don't think we'll let our children be interviewed alone with a bishopric member when they reach that age. I never had anything but wonderful and honorable men interview me, but I know not everyone has been that lucky, and, unfortunately, there are some youth that would falsely accuse bishops. It's just too scary these days. It's hard to trust anyone. I'd even venture to say a woman shouldn't go into an interview alone with a man unless that door is cracked. Super tough situation though when sensitive and confidential information is being discussed. I don't know a good solution.

You said it incredibly well. Much, MUCH better than I did. :ymapplause: