Craziest Old Testament Story

[Obrien]

It says "Onan" right at the bottom of the picture. How obvious does it have to be?

I've honestly never heard that story

Ask your hubby about it - guaranteed it is part of the correlated material for the young men.

[JohnnyL]

Yeah, and what was it that Noah's son did anyway? Look at his father naked or something? That's another story that makes no sense whatsoever.

Yes it does -- rape.

Or: https://bookofmormonnotes.wordpress.com ... -by-grego/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Obrien]

It says "Onan" right at the bottom of the picture. How obvious does it have to be?

I've honestly never heard that story

Ask your hubby about it - guaranteed it is part of the correlated material for the young men.

I promise if i haven't heard it he definitely hasn't heard it.
He's not a young man either

He's not now, but he was. The YM get a good dose of onan-ism avoidance.
Did you ever get the chewed up piece of gum representing your lost virtue lesson in YM? Somewhere he heard about Onan and his unfortunate choices.

[Obrien]

OK OK OK you win.

[Obrien]

Don't I always? ;)

Only when thinking people give up... ;)

[Obrien]

What about Isaiah's 7 year naked prophecy streak (pardon the small pun there).

[samizdat]

To the untrained English eye, Isaiah WAS naked. But the Hebrew suggests that he was dressed as a slave (just a loincloth or Mideast equivalent).

[buffalo_girl]

What about Isaiah's 7 year naked prophecy streak (pardon the small pun there).

That is very witty.

I have heard it said, "He who would pun will pick a man's pocket."

Of course, if one's garment is absent wherewith are the pockets to pick?

[Obrien]

I don't speak Hebrew. One of the original criteria is to assume that the stories as written reflect reality. I specifically didn't want to digress into a bunch of interpretations that only 1 or 2 people understand. We dodged a bullet earlier with Noah's drunken naked binge... However, thanks for your input, and for baring the truth to us (sorry, another awful pun).

[Obrien]

What about Isaiah's 7 year naked prophecy streak (pardon the small pun there).

That is very witty.

I have heard it said, "He who would pun will pick a man's pocket."

Of course, if one's garment is absent wherewith are the pockets to pick?

And, if you're screen name is an accurate reflection, you have no need to fear (being buff_girl)

[samizdat]

I don't speak Hebrew. One of the original criteria is to assume that the stories as written reflect reality. I specifically didn't want to digress into a bunch of interpretations that only 1 or 2 people understand. We dodged a bullet earlier with Noah's drunken naked binge... However, thanks for your input, and for baring the truth to us (sorry, another awful pun).

Don't worry about it. I actually prefer to read the scriptures through the context of the people that wrote them in the first place.

[Rose Garden]

What about Isaiah's 7 year naked prophecy streak (pardon the small pun there).

I thought it was three years.

To the untrained English eye, Isaiah WAS naked. But the Hebrew suggests that he was dressed as a slave (just a loincloth or Mideast equivalent).

I don't know. It says "with the buttocks uncovered." That doesn't leave a whole lot left to the imagination. Thong loincloth?

[Rose Garden]

Let's see, the 30 children that were wiped out for teasing a prophet.

When my teenaged students became too unruly during Sunday School, I would have one of them read that passage.

I'll keep that in mind when my son turns 12.

By the way, it was 42, not 30.

[jockeybox]

What about The Nephilim. Fallen angels having sex with humans to create a giant race.

Sounds more like a sci-fi movie.

[JohnnyL]

What about Isaiah's 7 year naked prophecy streak (pardon the small pun there).

I thought it was three years.

To the untrained English eye, Isaiah WAS naked. But the Hebrew suggests that he was dressed as a slave (just a loincloth or Mideast equivalent).

I don't know. It says "with the buttocks uncovered." That doesn't leave a whole lot left to the imagination. Thong loincloth?

Like sumo wrestlers.

[Fiannan]

Yeah, and what was it that Noah's son did anyway? Look at his father naked or something? That's another story that makes no sense whatsoever.

Yes it does -- rape.

Or: https://bookofmormonnotes.wordpress.com ... -by-grego/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Whether it would have been Noah getting violated by Ham or Ham's wife it still would be rape. It should be noted that in the context of Genesis we have a lot of items that are NSFW or maybe young children:

* The possibilities as to why the heck Noah would curse someone for seeing them naked. Then again the metaphor used in that passage tends to mean...
* Abraham and Sarah have the same father, different mother. Were they raised together in the same polygamist household?
* Lot gets raped by his daughters.
* Satan is told in the Garden he cannot reproduce with Eve. Just why was that necessary to point out?

[Fiannan]

When Rachel stole some household idols, and hid them in her camel's saddle and then mounted the camel. And while Laban is rummaging through the tent looking for them, Rachel demurely asks him to forgive her for not rising to greet him, because she can't because she's experiencing her monthly. "I cannot rise before you, for the manner of women is upon me" is how she put it.

Naturally Laban never found the idols.

That is still a very important aspect of Jewish culture. A friend of mine, who lived in Israel for several years, mentioned that she had a friend who was engaged to a Jewish man and that she went through the conversion process. Of course a man is not to ever have sex with his wife during that time of the month. She is also not to mention to him when that is. So what couples are urged to do is to come up with a signal, like putting a blue flower on the table so he knows, but need not ask. Sometimes a woman is unsure when her cycle is over or not. If that creates a problem she is to consult with her rabbi. And that entails...http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340 ... 91,00.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Obrien]

Another OT story that came to memory today while listening to a podcast - Elijah calling down fire from Heaven and consuming his sacrifice THEN slaying 450 priests of Baal. Now THAT is a kick a$$ prophet.

[FSM]

Sometimes it really seems like the OT is very different than other parts of the gospel.

[djinwa]

I don't speak Hebrew. One of the original criteria is to assume that the stories as written reflect reality. I specifically didn't want to digress into a bunch of interpretations that only 1 or 2 people understand. We dodged a bullet earlier with Noah's drunken naked binge... However, thanks for your input, and for baring the truth to us (sorry, another awful pun).

Don't worry about it. I actually prefer to read the scriptures through the context of the people that wrote them in the first place.

Someone explain the point of giving us scriptures that don't mean what they say. Is that how we all give directions to our children? Why does it all have to be so complicated, and we have to spend countless hours trying to figure out the real meaning?

Weird.

You would think the prophet would rewrite the whole thing and simplify it. Until then, I'm not going to waste time on it, and make big investments in a future I can't know about.

[A Random Phrase]

Someone explain the point of giving us scriptures that don't mean what they say. Is that how we all give directions to our children? Why does it all have to be so complicated, and we have to spend countless hours trying to figure out the real meaning?

Weird.

You would think the prophet would rewrite the whole thing and simplify it. Until then, I'm not going to waste time on it, and make big investments in a future I can't know about.

Unfortunately, when we have a book as old as the Old Testament, we can't be exactly sure what things mean. The meanings of idiomatic phrases gets lost or distorted, for example. (Some of our phrases may make no sense to someone living a few thousand years from now: "I've got a thing for you." "Don't stuff your face!" "Ask her out." "I gave it lip service." "She's a trip!") And the many translations have probably changed things - things added, subtracted, or changed either accidentally or on purpose.

I think, unless the Spirit gives one a clear understanding, a person might as well accept the words at face value.

[BrotherOfMahonri]

Jbalm does it again... Ok son (my smart 9 year old loves reading good topics on Ldsff) let's leave this thread, the high school buddies are at it again (teaching him about walking away from perverse discussions - you know what they encourage you to do in High School or Jr. High Seminary, walking away from ill-contrived jokes and humor).

Here is to a hope for more holiness in our tastes we share on these threads. Many of you have lost my respect and trust, but you most likely don't care. :-s [-(

[KMCopeland]

Many of you have lost my respect and trust, but you most likely don't care. :-s [-(

You might be onto something.