Craziest Old Testament Story

[Obrien]

This thread is not as cerebral as FSM's current OT thread. It's intended to be more like a 6th grade book report. In teaching OT last year, I read a pretty good hunk of that tome. There are some whacky incidents recorded therein. Assuming they are all translated correctly as they are written, what OT story stands out to you as the most shocking, unlikely, odd, foreign or amazing to you? I have lots to choose from, but want to see yours, first. Scriptural references are not required, but will be helpful in confirming the details you provide.

I started this thread because the Abraham Isaac incident IS one of those shocking and almost unbelievable stories, and it is more shocking when you read extra-biblical accounts of Abraham killing his son.

[jbalm]

Balaam's talking donkey.

Followed by Lott being date raped by his daughters.

[Obrien]

No doubt. I had a lady in gospel doctrine last year who didn't believe it when Lott's daughters came up. I always wondered how they got the booze, but couldn't find any men...

[jbalm]

The OT neglects to tell us that a female owned and operated vineyard was a mere half league away from the love cave.

[Obrien]

no, I think that detail is in the book of jashar

[jbalm]

I thought it was in Hezekiah. But i don't know, exactly. I just know it's somewhere near the back.

[zionbuilder]

The wife that was given to a group of men, to keep them from "knowing" the husband. It happened all night long, she ended up dying because of it. The husband cut her body into twelve parts and sent them to all the tribes.....I was like..... Whaaaaa???

[zionbuilder]

Judges 19

[Steve Clark]

The wife that was given to a group of men, to keep them from "knowing" the husband. It happened all night long, she ended up dying because of it. The husband cut her body into twelve parts and sent them to all the tribes.....I was like..... Whaaaaa???

I haven't heard of that one. Wow.

[Obrien]

The wife that was given to a group of men, to keep them from "knowing" the husband. It happened all night long, she ended up dying because of it. The husband cut her body into twelve parts and sent them to all the tribes.....I was like..... Whaaaaa???

I was wondering how long it would take for this one to come up. It has got to be in the top 3 crazy stories of the OT.

He sent them (the 12 body parts) to all the tribes as a gruesome bit of mail demanding the other tribe's help in eradicating the men of the offending tribe. One continuous round of bloodshed, if you'll pardon an OT era phrase from the BoM.

[jbalm]

The wife that was given to a group of men, to keep them from "knowing" the husband. It happened all night long, she ended up dying because of it. The husband cut her body into twelve parts and sent them to all the tribes.....I was like..... Whaaaaa???

Ugh. I forgot about that one. I wonder why it isn't in the GD manual.

[Rose Garden]

Let's see, the 30 children that were wiped out for teasing a prophet. The daughter-in-law of the one head of the 12 tribes playing the harlot and getting pregnant with his baby. Abraham letting the king marry his wife. Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt. The whole steadying the ark story. And all of the above.

[Rose Garden]

Oh yeah, and then there's the one where they tell a whole city of men they need to get circumcised and go in and kill all the men while they are recovering. That's a favorite.

[Obrien]

jbalm:
It was in the GD book, but the correlation committee took it out - they felt the 12 pieces of the woman were too symbolically close to another group of 12. They didn't want anyone getting crazy ideas.

[Obrien]

Oh yeah, and then there's the one where they tell a whole city of men they need to get circumcised and go in and kill all the men while they are recovering. That's a favorite.

Jacob's 12 sons and their idea to get their sister, Dinah, back from a pee-wee prince. Brutal.

[Obrien]

Let's see, the 30 children that were wiped out for teasing a prophet. The daughter-in-law of the one head of the 12 tribes playing the harlot and getting pregnant with his baby. Abraham letting the king marry his wife. Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt. The whole steadying the ark story. And all of the above.

You're supposed to have a reference for these. That'll slow you down a bit...

[Rose Garden]

I thought it was only 2 of the 12.

Oh, and then there was Reuben who slept with his father's wife.

Boy, those 12 were busy!

[Rose Garden]

This thread is not as cerebral as FSM's current OT thread. It's intended to be more like a 6th grade book report. In teaching OT last year, I read a pretty good hunk of that tome. There are some whacky incidents recorded therein. Assuming they are all translated correctly as they are written, what OT story stands out to you as the most shocking, unlikely, odd, foreign or amazing to you? I have lots to choose from, but want to see yours, first. Scriptural references are not required, but will be helpful in confirming the details you provide.

I started this thread because the Abraham Isaac incident IS one of those shocking and almost unbelievable stories, and it is more shocking when you read extra-biblical accounts of Abraham killing his son.

There you have it--straight from the handbook.

But just to humor you, I'll give you the references. They're in the OT.

[FSM]

I don't know where it is but do you remember when Moses came dawn from the mountain and got together with Arron I thing and commited genocide because the Jews were just worshiping a golden calf. The punishment did not fit the crime and seemed excessively to me.

[jbalm]

The one where (I forget who) made his ewes bear striped lambs by making them look at a striped stick while they copulated.

[FSM]

I always wondered why rape and slavery were not outlawed in the ot.

[FSM]

The one where (I forget who) made his ewes bear striped lambs by making them look at a striped stick while they copulated.

Wow I never heard of this story.

[FSM]

If it was all true it would appear that the God of the ot was a bit corrupted manipulative and viscous. He is very different than you are. Everyone on hear that has chimed in tonight is kind and helpful. The total opposite of the God in the ot. Surely you can see my point?

[A Random Phrase]

The one where (I forget who) made his ewes bear striped lambs by making them look at a striped stick while they copulated.

Jacob - finding a way to get more animals out of his father in law who had tricked him into marrying a woman he did not want. He didn't find out until after the wedding night. (Veils. Dark night. That kind of thing.)

[A Random Phrase]

Noah cursing his grandson for something Noah's son did.