Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

[gkearney]

Of course can we ask this same question of the young men as well. Should ALL young men serve a mission? What if they are simply not suited to do so, have no interest in doing so? And we don't even talk about those poor young men who have a desire to serve but can not due to disabilities (particularly hidden disabilities) their lives are turned upside down by all of this. Really pressuring any young person to serve a mission unless it is their wish and desire to do so is likely to lead to bad outcomes.

[Darren]

Of course can we ask this same question of the young men as well. Should ALL young men serve a mission? What if they are simply not suited to do so, have no interest in doing so? And we don't even talk about those poor young men who have a desire to serve but can not due to disabilities (particularly hidden disabilities) their lives are turned upside down by all of this. Really pressuring any young person to serve a mission unless it is their wish and desire to do so is likely to lead to bad outcomes.

From the Mormon Culture: If a young man does not go on a mission in the first week after turning 18 then he must be guilty of some serious sin. And a young woman that has not landed an RM for temple marriage at age 19 needs to be pushed out into a full-time mission, otherwise she is also less worthy.

There is a big problem in our Church at the changeover between adolescence and adulthood.

We are failing our youth, which in turn weakens our overall focus upon the traditional family model and values in the Church.

Is sending all of our youth on missions the best we can do as their community to help them transition into adulthood? Other than sending them to the University of Babel? Because in the Mormon Culture, besides having the "RM" Status, the other tag that gets you standing in your ward is to have graduated from BYU (The "Lord's" University, as a False Priesthood symbol wearing follower of Socrates).


When will the trajectory of our Mormon Culture fall so out of sync with doctrinally correct norms to necessitate revisiting the true basis to build adulthood upon? Here comes The Cleansing...

Matthew 24:22 And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect's sake those days shall be shortened.

God Bless,
Darren

[Darren]

Sister Missionaries Teach the Whipped Cream Challenge

When we invited the sisters to dinner, we asked them to explain the challenge. So they showed it us!

Does anyone know if the sister missionaries have weight limits like the young men do before they can go on a mission? These sisters are much endowed, and if a young man was the same height/weight ratio, he would not be allowed to go.

[gkearney]

Sister Missionaries Teach the Whipped Cream Challenge

When we invited the sisters to dinner, we asked them to explain the challenge. So they showed it us!

Does anyone know if the sister missionaries have weight limits like the young men do before they can go on a mission? These sisters are much endowed, and if a young man was the same height/weight ratio, he would not be allowed to go.

I do not know the answer to this question. However I would point out that one of those sisters would seem to be of pacific islander background. In many of those areas the genetics of the population tend to produce people of a heavier stature than we see in persons of western European background. In any even I didn't think either of these girls were seriously overweight, some people are just bigger than others.

[Fiannan]

Gordon b. Hinckley condemned women who have a marriage prospect lined up postponing it and going on a mission.

Just saying.

[Fiannan]

Procrastinators

Over the years, our societal culture has embraced delayed adult development. To me, it indicates a certain lack of faith. Could it be that many parents fail to teach their kids to step out in faith?

Is being a sister missionary a way our culture has found to extend adolescence for young women?

Our daughter Whitney has always been wiser than her years and taught us repeatedly about stepping out in faith. She excelled at debate and won many awards in high school. She was going to be a senator, and she would have excelled at that, too. Then suddenly, she stopped. I was stunned. She explained, “Dad, it makes me hard.” Seeing that that was an unwise development, she no longer felt good about it, and she decided to employ her time elsewhere. She had talked with her Maker about it and chose to step out in faith in a new direction.

Clinical psychologist Meg Jay teaches us about what she calls the benign neglect of adult development: “So what do you think happens when you pat a twenty-something on the head and you say, ‘You have ten extra years to start your life’? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.” She continues:

So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. It’s a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. But what we hear less about is that there’s such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development. But this isn’t what twenty-somethings are hearing. Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. Journalists coin silly nicknames for twenty-somethings like “twixters” and “kidults.” It’s true. As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.

It’s a bold message. Here’s why she’s bold:

And then every day, smart, interesting twenty-somethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “I know my boyfriend’s no good for me, but this relationship doesn’t count. I’m just killing time.” Or they say, “Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I’m 30, I’ll be fine.”

But then it starts to sound like this: “My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college.”

And then it starts to sound like this: “Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30, it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn’t want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.”

I’m glad our kids decided to skip the kidult decade. Instead, they decided to pass GO, collect $200, and become adults. They stepped out in faith in choosing a career. In choosing to date as well as to hang out. In choosing a spouse. In choosing to start having kids. In choosing to stop having kids. In choosing to stay married even when times get tough. Our kids are ready for all of these decisions. They were ready for these decisions before they turned 20.

http://mormonpanorama.com/category/personal-challenges/

Not teaching my daughters to serve missions. In fact unless one REALLY wanted to go I would discourage it.

[Lizzy60]

Gordon b. Hinckley condemned women who have a marriage prospect lined up postponing it and going on a mission.

Just saying.

Most of the young women today don't remember Pres Hinckley saying that. What they heard yesterdayt in F&T meeting in my ward was a mother talking about how worried she was that her daughter didn't seem to be considering a mission, as she planned for college and the rest of her life....then in June, lo and behold, a miracle happened and the young woman announced that she was going to submit her papers and go on a mission. The mom was teary and emotional, and went on to talk about all the other miracles that occured as her daughter prepared, and then left for her mission. The message was loud and clear for the 30+ young women in my ward --- go on a mission, or forego miracles, and break your mom's heart.

They are not going to dig up a quote from a dead prophet........

[Darren]

Most of the young women today don't remember Pres Hinckley saying that. What they heard yesterdayt in F&T meeting in my ward was a mother talking about how worried she was that her daughter didn't seem to be considering a mission, as she planned for college and the rest of her life....then in June, lo and behold, a miracle happened and the young woman announced that she was going to submit her papers and go on a mission. The mom was teary and emotional, and went on to talk about all the other miracles that occured as her daughter prepared, and then left for her mission. The message was loud and clear for the 30+ young women in my ward --- go on a mission, or forego miracles, and break your mom's heart.

They are not going to dig up a quote from a dead prophet........

If you are a "faithful young women" by today's standards, you will be preparing to go on a mission. Marriage is now a capstone (done as finishing up at the end) rather than a cornerstone (a starting foundation to build the entirety upon) event for young women to look forward to, by the New Mormon Culture Standards.

Romney articulates the so-called "cornerstone" theory of marriage: that marriage is an institution worth building life on, not something to enter into once you're already established in life. This vision of marriage is countercultural at the moment, of course: As the National Marriage Project's "Knot Yet" report shows, people are getting married later and later, and more and more people are seeing marriage as a "capstone" to life's achievements rather than a foundation for those achievements.
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/7656 ... young.html

Activity Days: "Called to Serve" activity,
we had the girls pretend that they were being called on a mission.

At the beginning of the activity, each girl got a sealed envelope with a mission call inside. They each took turns reading their call and each girl was on the edge of their seat excited for their turn to see where they were going and what language they were going to speak. Trinity set it up so each place had two girls "called" to it... that way the two girls could be companions and do the rest of the activity together. For example, Julie and Andrea were both called to Geneva, Switzerland.

After they read their mission calls, each girl got a name tag in the language they were going to be speaking and we had them dress up in skirts and jackets (some of which were mine and were way too big... but that made it fun... we had plenty of safety pins.)

After they were all dressed and had their name tag, we had them find and label on a map where they were going.

Next we did a topical guide activity that was pretty challenging for them. Also I think any kind of scripture search or maybe even scripture mastery would have been great. Anything using the scriptures that is maybe kinda hard to teach them that scripture study isn't always easy.

Then after our scripture activity, two return sister missionaries came to talk to the girls. They each talked about their missions a little bit and then bore their testimony. When they were done talking the time was up but the girls asked them questions for like 10 minutes! It was really sweet. Trinity knew these girls and they are fresh off their mission... but I think if you had Sister missionaries currently serving in your ward, they would love to come too.

We didn't do this, but I think another great addition would be having the girls learn a few words in the language they were "called" to speak. They would think that is pretty cool to learn some words, plus show them how challenging learning a new language can be!

Also... I just finished making this "I hope they call me on a mission" subway art. This would be a great handout .

I hope they call me on a mission
http://activitydaysforfun.blogspot.com/

[Fiannan]

If you are a "faithful young women" by today's standards, you will be preparing to go on a mission.

Then again, I am raising my daughters to have a strong connection to spirituality as well as to be innoculated against conformity even to people in Church.

I want my kids to be educated but they must see family as #1 in priority.

[Fiannan]

Interesting commentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gy6Zz0bOVo" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Darren]

Sexual Harassment In The Mission Field
Dec 15, 2014

We have had a huge influx of sister missionaries in the last years, due to the lowered age for sister missionaries. I would suspect that the experiences Rachel and her companions had on their mission, along with mine, are issues that sister missionaries face all over the world. Yet, we rarely talk about the harassment we experience as female ambassadors of the Lord. Even worse, I agree with Rachel that we are usually poorly prepared and equipped, as missionaries as well as leaders within the Missions, to know how to handle these kinds of situations.

When I served as a sister missionary in Greece in 1999, I was not always treated with the respect you would hope a spiritual minister of any faith would receive. While on my mission, I had men cat-call me as I walked down the street with my companion, comment on how beautiful I was, talk about marrying me, and frequently grope me when I was squished between lots of other people on the bus, where I could not get away. I realized that this behavior was fairly typical for the culture I served in. I certainly didn’t experience anything that no other woman experienced in Greece. But I did not feel well-equipped to deal with this kind of behavior. As a sister missionary, I didn’t feel that it was my place to assertively push back on this behavior. After all, I was trying to represent the Savior Jesus Christ, and he probably loved those men, who made me feel so uncomfortable. And I certainly didn’t want to talk to my male leaders about it. The thought of having them think about how another man had grabbed my bum just felt like adding to the discomfort of the experience. No thank you. So, I quietly put up with the behaviors, except for the instances where I felt I could act without anyone really noticing – like when I stomped on the foot of a man, who kept caressing my bum in a bus, and I couldn’t get away because it was too crowded. I just shifted a tiny bit, and in that movement, lifted my foot and stomped onto the man’s foot behind me. The hand disappeared. I felt empowered, yet hiding my desires to assert myself behind an “accidental” foot stomp. My experience was not one of isolation. Rachel, a reader of our blog, has compiled her mission experiences of sexual assault. Here are some of the things she faced during her mission:

“One incident happened in the winter early in my mission. My companion and I were wearing boots, long skirts, heavy coats, hats, and scarves. It was dark and we were walking down a sidewalk along a building when we were approached by two drunk men. They pushed us against the wall and held us for a few seconds. I couldn’t understand what they were saying, because my language skills weren’t that strong yet. But they were laughing and pressed against us. Fortunately, they were drunk and unsteady and we were able to push them off after a few seconds. They staggered back and threw snow at us as we ran off. I remember feeling angry but determined to not let it ruin our evening plans. My companion and I recomposed ourselves and kept going.

At another time with a new companion in a different city, I had bought a new skirt and blouse. The standards had changed and we didn’t have to wear ankle length skirts anymore. This skirt covered my knees and my blouse was a pretty color and flattered my figure. My companion and I were walking when a group of young men (late teens, early 20’s) saw us. They were seated outside in a restaurant, and as we walked by they yelled things like “I’ll do her and then I’ll do the other one! We’re going to f*** you on these tables!” and some other obscenities which I could now understand. My companion and I hurried past them, but a few minutes later the guys showed up behind us in a car and kept yelling until we just got on a bus and left. I felt so disgusting and dirty. I felt stupid for being excited about my nice new clothes. I thought the behavior of these men was a punishment for my vanity. I thought it was my fault because my knees must have been showing when I walked. My companion and I didn’t say anything besides “so gross” or “I hate men like that.” Looking back now, I can see that we were both shaken by it but didn’t know what to do about the situation. We told another sister missionary about it and the first thing she asked was what we were wearing. She laughed at the story and thought we should be flattered that those guys thought we were pretty. I didn’t wear that outfit again.

On a different day with the same companion we walked to our Church building. It was about 11:00am in the morning and some guys were sitting on a stoop near our chapel. One guy ran up behind us and grabbed our butts. I actually turned with a raised hand to slap him. But there were a bunch of other guys and I didn’t want to make things worse, so I just ran off with my companion. The guys laughed. There were some Elders nearby, who we ran to and told them what happened. They were outraged and walked us back to the church. The Elders told the guys who were still there to get lost and then stayed with us for a few minutes at the church. Other missionaries came and went so we were never alone. My companion and I were supposed to go out contacting and giving out flyers for the new visitor’s center but we just stayed in for awhile. All the Elders who came in and heard the story were mad and said they would’ve beat the guys up for us. It was sweet and funny to hear how protective they were and it put us in a better mood. One sister sat with us asking us if we were really okay and suggested we call our president. She said something similar happened to her a few months earlier and she felt so gross and upset after. Another sister told us to shake it off and go back outside because we should be contacting people and what had happened wasn’t that big of a deal. I resented her remarks, but thought she was right and I felt stupid for having a pity party. We finished our day and did call our president that night. All I said was “some guys touched us” and he flew off the handle. I had to pull the phone away from my ear because he was yelling. He called those guys animals and said they should be arrested. He was happy we told him and told us to call back anytime if we were upset about something. It was validating though I still felt dirty and gross but less guilty.

The harassment was the worst in that area. My companion and I were always on edge. I know we both felt fear every time we went outside. Men constantly jeered at and ogled us. We hardly spoke to anyone.

I was training a new sister and we were sitting on a bench. A homeless man came right up to her and touched her face and leaned in to kiss her. I pushed him off and said, “don’t touch her!” He wandered away. She thanked me and said she just froze up when she saw him coming and didn’t know what to do.

A different companion was receiving dirty text messages from an investigator. We had a new president who told us to drop the investigator. My companion was still so shaken up by the incident after we dropped the investigator that she couldn’t speak. I told the President that she was really upset and uncomfortable to go outside. But he said to just keep going and things would be fine. After awhile she felt dumb for being so upset.

Those were a few of the more egregious examples. Verbal harassment never stopped. Sometimes I saw it as an honor. Christ told the apostles that they would be persecuted. When people would make fun of the Church or Christ, I felt stronger and more determined to talk. I knew the Elders experienced it, too and I felt like all the missionaries were supporting each other. We were told from day one in the MTC that people would hate us as they hated Christ. I remember a talk from Elder Holland saying something like persecution was a measure of discipleship, with which I agree to some extent. But the sexual harassment always left me feeling so dirty. It felt like a punishment and a measurement of my filthiness. I looked down a lot and had to fight with myself just to talk to people. I was curt and rude to some men who were really just trying to be friendly. I felt like a bad missionary. I thought we were being sexually harassed because I would day-dream about guys back home once in awhile. I thought it was my fault, because my companions would joke and say we couldn’t wait to get married and have sex someday. Women shouldn’t talk or think like that. I thought it was my fault because I wanted to look “too” nice. I thought it was my fault because I stopped caring about how I looked and I needed to put some effort into my appearance again.

It’s hard to talk about these experiences in any situation. If you talk about sexual harassment, some people think you’re sharing the story to brag about how much attention you get. Some will sympathize but just say “that’s life.” I wish we could have had some talks in the MTC or with our mission president about how to handle sexual harassment. We had a short talk in the MTC about running away from men and doing whatever we needed to do to get away. There was no talk about the dirtiness you feel afterwards, though. All the missionaries were told to be brave. However, no one really prepared us for the constant fear of leaving our apartments. We didn’t have any resources besides available other than the advice to talk to our mission presidents. But presidents don’t always know what to say, and some simply brush these situations off.

http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.com/sexua ... ion-field/

[Darren]

Vote for Mormon of the Year 2014

Who, except for the Quorum of the Twelve and First Presidency, has had the most impact on Mormons and Mormonism in 2014?

Sister Missionaries — Since the announcement lowering the age for their missionary service these sisters have changed the face of missionary service and will continue to have an impact on the Church for the foreseeable future.

http://timesandseasons.org/index.php/20 ... year-2014/

[Darren]

My 16 year old daughter told me yesterday that in seminary they have been really pushing for girls to plan ahead to go on full-time missions. She said that the expectation now is that all active young women will go on a mission when they reach age 19. She was so angry that she had to defend her choice at age 16, that she will not be going on a mission. People keep egging her on, that she needs to pray, fast and pray, keep the door open to the Lord, and make sure she is not making "the wrong decision," ugh. The wrong or sin in our church is when we brainwash our young girls to keep their eye on going on a mission, the (new) best thing to do for a young woman.

The Bishop's older daughter came home early from her mission on a medical release, then they had her go out on her mission again to serve closer to home, she came home from that second attempt to finish her mission again, on another medical release.

My daughter said that her friend, the Bishop's younger daughter has been experiencing "the push" to go. The Bishop's younger daughter had to make it known in our ward, that she was not going on a mission, to the disbelief of the ward members.

Another problem I see in our culture is, if a young women does not go on a mission she is somehow inferior to the women who did go, adding to the extreme peer pressure on young women to focus for years and go on a mission at age 19.

This is just nuts.

Please come back to True Culture.



God Bless,
Darren

[gkearney]

So now the young women are getting the same kind of pressure that young men have had for years, just great. There was a young man in one ward that I was in that got so much push on this, when he really had no interest in going on a mission that one day he simply went out and joined the Marines to get everyone off his back about it. He was much happier and productive in the Marines than he ever would have been on a mission.

[Darren]

Mormon Culture redefining itself, on its way to The Cleansing.

Surprise: you can go on a mission earlier, but you might be judged if you don’t
http://segullah.org/daily-special/surpr ... -you-dont/
January 15, 2015



In a conversation with two friends, one mother excitedly described the girl her 23 year old son was currently dating– accomplished, lovely, the most incredible testimony… “But,” the other woman interrupted, “she didn’t serve a mission, did she?”

“No,” my friend answered, “she prayed about the decision many times but never felt like it was right for her.”

“I’m not saying she’s not a nice girl,” the friend replied, “but she’d be much more impressive if she’d served a mission.”

I’m fairly sure steam erupted from my ears; I know my face flushed with heat as I entered the conversation, but I tried to measure my words, “You’re not serious? Prophets instruct our girls to rely on personal revelation. I’m proud of every girl who serves and every girl who follows a prompting to follow a different path.”

“But you have to admit,” she persisted, “these returned missionaries will make much better wives and mothers. They’ll be more prepared to serve in the church.”

“You know I didn’t go on a mission.” I reminded her.

“Sure. But times were different then. With the age change, no girl has an excuse not to serve.”

And that was the moment I knew had to walk away before I exploded in anger.

****

Since that conversation, I’ve talked to several girls and mothers of girls who haven’t joined the recent wave of sister missionaries. I’m sure there are girls who never considered a mission, but I talked to young women who pondered, prayed and struggled with the decision. Over and over I heard, “I was confused to receive a ‘no’ answer. Didn’t the Lord want me? Couldn’t I contribute in the mission field?”

“I know I’ve made the right decision for me,” one girl said, “but I wish people would stop questioning me about it at every turn.”

Girls aren’t the only ones badgered with questions about their mission. I’m worried about boys feeling pressure to leave missions straight out of high school. Some seem to regard it as a badge of honor to leave just days after they earn their diploma. At the very least, our boys should take several weeks after graduation to attend the temple multiple times before they enter the MTC.

I know several boys who’ve chosen to attend a year or two of college before they depart and I applaud their decision. Although I’d love to have my third son home for another year, he’ll begin his service a month or two after high school graduation. I also respect his agency and his ability to receive personal revelation.

One boy who chose to wait until age 20 said, “I can’t count how many obnoxious questions I dealt with. At first people just asked out of polite interest, but as time went on, they asked me outright if I had worthiness issues. Don’t people understand the age change means we can CHOOSE to leave at 18, not that we’re required to?”

This seems like a good moment to review exactly what President Monson said on that eventful Saturday Morning, October 2012:

“I am not suggesting that all young men will—or should—serve at this earlier age. Rather, based on individual circumstances as well as upon a determination by priesthood leaders, this option is now available.

As we have prayerfully pondered the age at which young men may begin their missionary service, we have also given consideration to the age at which a young woman might serve. Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21.

We affirm that missionary work is a priesthood duty—and we encourage all young men who are worthy and who are physically able and mentally capable to respond to the call to serve. Many young women also serve, but they are not under the same mandate to serve as are the young men. We assure the young sisters of the Church, however, that they make a valuable contribution as missionaries, and we welcome their service.”

President Monson’s words are concise, clear and filled with compassion and love. I know he wouldn’t approve of any judgment placed on fellow members of the church. As I spoke to varied people on this subject I was sickened to hear of missionaries sent home early who were ostracized by their ward, one boy whose car was egged and painted with the word ‘quitter.’ I’m sad to hear of kids who don’t feel ready and end up coming home because of anxiety. I hope we exercise compassion to everyone. Really what good comes from making our fellow saints feel unwanted; do we want to drive them away?

And how about this: what if a young man or young woman really was lazy, unworthy or just disinterested? Would the Lord want us to belittle and berate them? Of course not. God doesn’t throw people away. He doesn’t use a checklist to keep track of our good and bad deeds. He extends His arms to all, and in our own imperfect, mortal, flawed ways, so should we.

Have you heard prejudice against girls who don’t serve a mission?

Do the young men in your area feel pressured to leave immediately after high school?

and I don’t even want to ask my next set of questions, like, “Do you think returned sister missionaries make better wives and mothers?” so, just share your thoughts.

The rude comments and pressure are driven by “mormon culture” which is not the same as the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I also think the rising number of missionaries returning home is 2 fold:
-caving into “mormon culture” pressure before the person is ready
Second – parents, especially mothers, not allowing their children to experience and deal with hard things before they leave home.

I am one of those girls who did not go on a mission. I was nineteen when the age changed and nearly all of my friends left. I earnestly sought for my own personal revelation and my answer was to stay at BYU and continue my studies. I know I could have been a successful missionary. I could have strengthened my testimony in different ways and become a better teacher, but my calling was to stay put and continue moving forward with faith.

Not serving a mission has turned out to be a trial I never expected to have. I never thought my closest friends would doubt my spirituality or testimony and that I would be ostracized from certain circles simply because I followed the spirit and didn’t serve a mission. Now that the first wave of missionaries has returned there are times when those of us who stayed feel like pariahs. One of the most painful occurrences is hearing my male peers say they will only date and/or marry RMs. This seems so illogical to me because most of the girls who did not go on a mission are just as worthy, spiritual, etc. and were working towards worthwhile achievements. It’s not that one way was better and would result in a better life. Rather the experience of mission or staying put offer a different set of experiences that are necessary for that individual. Not better…just different.

I wonder if this cultural issue is more strongly apparent on the Wasatch Front or even specifically at BYU. This specific issue has increased my excitement to graduate this April, so that I can get away from all the comments about being one the girls who didn’t go.

A girl in my ward was told by a recently returned missionary (young man) that she was cute but she’d never get married if she didn’t serve a mission.

Our third child, a son was nearly twenty-one when he left on his mission. Knowing he needed professional help for anxiety, time to develop more emotional maturity, and also to feel that serving a mission was his decision, I was completely unashamed about answering those “covert” questions from ward members. After being bullied and experiencing so many ADHD-related struggles through adolescence, the last thing our son needed was another perceived “failure” if he couldn’t cope with the intense challenges of a mission. (My husband was always very honest about the difficulties he experienced as a missionary. I’m not sure that’s always the case in priesthood or missionary prep classes.)

I was shocked when we met with our bishop to discuss our son’s counseling needs, only to be told that he and our son (who was then 18) had started the missionary paperwork. The kid had recently returned home from a failed semester of college where he finally fell apart emotionally. The bishop was adamant about what the handbook said about boys serving missions at at 19. (This was before President Monson’s announcement.) But we held firm. Of course our son is an adult, wanted to go on a mission at that time, and he experienced a lot of pressure to do so. But he was unprepared financially and finally admitted he needed to prepare in other areas as well.

The next two years were difficult. I’m the first to admit that waiting was a gamble, but we always told our son the mission decision was his. At one point, he almost quit attending church because of things that were said to him by peers. But he trusted his therapist, eventually developed good relationships with the single’s ward bishopric, and gradually gained confidence as he got a job.

Our son is now “on fire” with enthusiasm as he winds up his full-time missionary service. Like all missionaries, he has plenty of hardships, but the techniques he learned from his therapist are valuable tools that help him cope.

I’m so grateful we learned about his anxiety before his mission; my heart breaks for several of his peers and younger men in our ward who didn’t know how devastating this condition can be until they found themselves far from home, experiencing challenges they never imagined when they accepted the call to serve. From the first “wave” of missionaries from our ward who left right after high school graduation, nearly half have returned home because of emotional difficulties. Most are now less-active. Again, my heart breaks when some of their moms who tell me how disillusioned their sons feel. So many active kids in the single’s ward and even at the high school have said unkind things to their siblings. We can do better and teach our children to do better.

Our fourth child, another son, will soon turn twenty. He has Asperger’s syndrome and we don’t yet know if he’ll choose to serve a mission after he finishes a course at tech school. But I did feel uncomfortable when boys who had their mission calls were singled out at last spring’s seminary graduation. They’re wonderful young men; one in particular had tried to befriend this son. But I don’t feel it was appropriate for church and seminary leaders to portray them as better than others who might not be ready to serve. Maybe not even in this life.

As for our youngest son? When a stake leader told our ward’s young men that “eighteen is now the magic age” to serve a mission, our deacon raised his hand and answered, “That’s if it’s right for you.”

by Darren » Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:35 am
viewtopic.php?f=14&t=24889&p=327827&hilit=#p327827

The age change is very new. Are you already seeing it being interpreted wrongly? That's pretty fast.

Been around a while and have some insights on this Mormon Culture creature. The alarm bells are ringing on this one. Ever wondered why there is a Cleansing coming?

God Bless,
Darren

[gkearney]

Well you know, many women wanted to be treated as equal to men, and now they are finding out just what that means aren't they?

Seriously, young people should choose to go on mission because they want to. Not because their families, friends, boyfriends or girlfriends or anyone else wants them to but because they want to. This applies to the boys as well as the girls.

[passionflower]

-delete-

[gkearney]

But Jesus Christ served His mission because His Father wanted Him too. It was never His idea to be The Son of God or anything. He simply humbly accepted the call, and gave all the glory to His Father.

So you are suggesting that Christ carried out his mission agaist his will?

[Lizzy60]

But Jesus Christ served His mission because His Father wanted Him too. It was never His idea to be The Son of God or anything. He simply humbly accepted the call, and gave all the glory to His Father.

It's evident that you really have no idea who Christ is. He is our Eternal Father and our Eternal God, the creator of this earth, this universe, and everything therein. Yes, He did His father's will, and always had, from the beginning. His role as the Son of God was a condescension from the glory He had already attained -- the glory that was and is His, as our GOD.

Please read the Book of Mormon, putting aside your current paradigm, and you will find the truth.

[passionflower]

But Jesus Christ served His mission because His Father wanted Him too. It was never His idea to be The Son of God or anything. He simply humbly accepted the call, and gave all the glory to His Father.

So you are suggesting that Christ carried out his mission agaist his will?

-delete-

[Darren]

The emphsis on young sisters to serve missions, with the demphasis on marriage is only one of many indicators of the Mormon Culture shift leading to The Cleansing.

It is very important to get back to True Culture roots.

When I was sitting in the basement of Cleon Skousen's home, attending one of the few meeting I attended, of his meetings for Constitutionalists, who would come together to hear the messages from his book on the Constitution, I was already coming into the information that would negate the limited view I had as a Constitutionalist. The Culture of the US Constitution is dying because we as a people fail to understand how exactly the US Constitution is a continuation of the visit of Jesus Christ to our ancestors in 43 A.D., in Sweden. And how that first "restored constitution" ordered the Culture that made all men free.

So it is with anything we attribute to our Mormon Culture, we fail to understand how exactly our culture has developed from a simpler and more pure Culture.

I continue to post on this topic to keep reminding us all that we have been loosing our True Culture on our way to The Cleansing.

God Bless,
Darren

[Darren]

Sister Missionaries and Dating Decisions

A while ago, shortly after getting home from my two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Chile, I was talking to my older sister about my dating life. I mentioned that I had some interest in a certain girl. We had been on several dates, and I saw potential in our relationship. However, I had one concern, which I expressed to my sister: “Maybe,” I said, “I shouldn’t date at all right now, when the only girls around are the ones who stayed behind from missions. Maybe I should wait until the wave of missionaries gets home so that I can date and marry a Returned Missionary. That way I can be sure she’s really a good girl.”

Luckily for me, my sister wasted no time at all in slapping some sense into me. Once the physical abuse was over, she said something I’ve never forgotten. “Jason, it doesn’t matter if a girl has served a mission or not. It matters if a girl is following God’s plan for her. That’s what you should care about.”

She then went on to point out that not only had she not served a mission, but my mother hadn’t either. As I thought about what a fantastic mother mine was, and what a great wife she was to my dad, and what a great woman she was in general, I began to understand. As I thought about the intense, deep relationship that my sister has with her Savior, about the many times her testimony and habits had strengthened and improved mine, I understood a little bit more. And as I thought about other women in my life who I looked up to, including a close cousin and a seminary teacher, to name a few, I finally got it.

God matters. Missions, in and of themselves, don’t. Missions only matter when God says they matter—He is the one who gives them power and importance. And God, speaking through his prophet, President Thomas S. Monson,has said, “We affirm that missionary work is a priesthood duty—and we encourage all young men who are worthy and who are physically able and mentally capable to respond to the call to serve. Many young women also serve, but they are not under the same mandate to serve as are the young men. We assure the young sisters of the Church, however, that they make a valuable contribution as missionaries, and we welcome their service.”

Once I accepted that not every girl I knew was under orders from God to serve a mission, I became incredibly interested in learning about individual girls’ experiences in deciding if they should go. As I listened to the stories of my friends who had stayed home, I was impressed by their maturity and spirituality. Without exception, they spoke of periods of prayer, scripture study, and temple attendance before accepting that it was not God’s will for them to go on a mission. Some of them even mentioned how disappointed they were that God didn’t want them to go, and how they begged and pleaded to be allowed to before humbly accepting God’s personal commands. I felt chastened as I considered that every time I criticized a girl for choosing not to serve a mission, I was pridefully acting like my will was more important than God’s.
http://mylifeisjason.blogspot.com/2015/ ... ating.html

[Darren]

Mormon Culture writes its own fake General Authority quotes and then they get spread around to forward the False Culture:

“Many young women are serving missions. Many are preparing to serve. Not because they aren’t married or have nothing else to do; but because they have a desire to serve and therefore are being called to the work. The reason so many are going is because in the next generation, Heavenly Father will be sending his priesthood army to the earth and wants to send them to mothers who have been properly trained and taught in the gospel. What better training can a young woman have than that of serving a mission?"
- President Hinkley

I heard a way cool quote this week about sister missionaries and I LOVED IT.
http://sistermadrid.blogspot.com/2013/0 ... em-up.html

I know that I needed this mission in order to be the mom I need to be. The quote is by President Gordon B. Hinckley and it says:
http://jenessanielsen.blogspot.com/2013 ... etter.html

marriage and family prep... What could be better than a mission?? President Gordon B. Hinckley said:
http://hermanaorgill.blogspot.com/

Here's a quote that explains the whole reason I am here:
http://sisterjessicahammond.blogspot.co ... rence.html

Here's a cool quote I found from President Hinckley, which he stated back in 2000
http://www.missionsite.net/corakessler/viewletter/50221

The decision for young women:
http://prepareforyourmission.weebly.com ... serve.html

President Hinckley has given us a glimpse of what those blessings could potentially be when he stated:
http://sisterkanani.blogspot.com/2012/0 ... -talk.html

This quote by President Hinckley really impacted me. He says:
http://hermananataliepaigebullough.blog ... -talk.html

A sister in my branch had this quote that I thought was amazing, it is by President Spencer W. Kimball:
http://cectpahowell.blogspot.com/2009_0 ... chive.html

[Darren]

Young woman embracing the push to serve a mission.



And forgoing marriage. A song of a sister missionary.

[Darren]

Missionary age change brings new experiences to LDS women, marriages

President Thomas S. Monson lowered the age requirement for mission service more than two years ago, and the LDS community is starting to recognize resulting social changes in marriages and the perceived role of women in the Church.

Utah’s overall marriage rate has declined, from 11.2 marriages per populations of 1,000 in 1990, to 8.2 marriages per 1,000 in 2009, according to another government census published in 2010.

But potential societal changes in the LDS community from the missionary age change are not limited entirely to relationships — there has reportedly been an increase in pressure to serve, particularly for young women.

President Monson clarified during the October 2012 General Conference that “young women … are not under the same mandate to serve as are the young men.”

Thousands of women have answered the call to action, but not all have felt impressed to put in their papers. Some felt the need to pursue a degree, get married or simply wait to serve missions.

Nicole Law was a BYU student and almost 19 when the age change announcement was made.

Law decided she needed to continue with her educational goals rather than go on a mission. She knows her choice was the right one for her, but at times she feels that she has to justify it, especially when others ask her if she’s planning on serving and her response is “no.”

That’s not the only difficulty Law said she’s faced when it comes to serving a mission.

“Sometimes it seems like guys’ expectations are higher — that girls need to serve now because of that. And it’s not fair to (girls) that aren’t and also to (girls that are choosing to serve),” Law said. “A mission doesn’t determine how spiritual a person is.”

Lowering the age requirements prompted many women to seriously consider serving missions, leading some to experiences they never imagined they’d have.

Kaelin Cowley, a junior majoring in psychology, planned to serve as soon as possible.

She had received her call to San Bernadino, California, Spanish speaking, when she got in a car accident that damaged her foot so badly that she had to undergo three surgeries throughout the course of seven months.

She was eventually medically released from her mission.

Cowley said she’s thought about serving again now that her foot has healed, but she’s realized she now has more reasons to stay than go.

“What I’m doing here, looking to help people with mental illnesses, it’s more important for me to be working on that here and now than to be serving a mission,” Cowley said.

Cowley also said that “we need to stop associating serving a mission as being the best Mormon you can be, because it’s not true. You don’t have to go to a foreign country or state to become more spiritual. You can do that wherever you are.”

Other sisters were out in the field when the age change was announced. They have since returned to a new environment and a new attitude about women serving missions.

Emily Brown is an English major at BYU who served in the Russia Novosiebirsk mission. Her younger sister left on a mission at age 19.

“In some ways, people were spiritually prepared to leave early,” Brown said. “My little sister was ready, and so she left.”

She might have been ready to go, but Brown’s sister had lingering feelings that she was only going because everyone else was.

“My sister doubted the validity of her decision,” Brown said. “She felt she’d gone because everyone else did, and it was hard for her because she worried her decision was based on social pressure.”

Deciding to serve a mission shouldn’t be based on the opinion of others, Brown said. “I think it’s more important to have a spiritual confirmation, to truly involve the Lord in your decision.”

Social changes will likely become more apparent as the LDS culture settles into the new trend and cycle of younger missionaries going and returning.

Perceived pressure will potentially decrease, and perhaps the marriage rates for Utah will increase with the number of younger missionaries returning from the field.

http://universe.byu.edu/2015/01/09/miss ... ommunity1/