LDS Freedom Forum

what if you are afraid to tak to your bishop

It depends on why you are afraid to talk to your bishop.

If the bishop has done something that makes you not trust him, you should speak to someone in higher authority.
If youare afraid to talk to your bishop because of something you have done, face your fears!

I have had this discussion with my father before and he always wondered (in certain situations)...why people go the bishop so much. We should seek out our priesthood leaders who have stewardship over us. So lets climb the tree and see who we see. FIrst and foremost the Patriarch of the home should be seen first. If that is not possible than we are to seek our home teachers. They are given the command to ensure there is no problems within the ward and are the teachers of the gospel. It is only after that or in the case of serious sins that we are to seek the bishop. While this may not be the instance you are refering too I thought it important to remind everyone that our home teachers are who we seek first and then go to the bishop. The bishop is the priesthood authority over the ward. The home teacher is responsible for the family. I must reiterate that serious sins should be discussed with the Bishop.

If you are afraid to talk to the bishop because of your sins, I can relate. When I entered the MTC, they gave us lists of things we should resolve with authority, and porn was among them. I had sought out soft-core stuff and tried to justify in the face of what I was being told, that I could just repent privately.

It was inconceivable to me to be sent home in disgrace to my family, or worse. (My imagination was really fevered at the time) It literally felt impossible to do what was required, like someone saying, stand in the tracks of this speeding train and don't flinch. Everyone I knew thought I was a pristine soul. I literally would not know how I should behave around those people if the illusion disappeared. ("The very thought that I should be brought to stand before them to be judged ... filled my soul with inexpressible horror")

Well, it came to a moment where I said in myself: do you believe the gospel or not? I think I do. I think I'm about to go testify to that effect, so I'd better at least give it a chance. Well, then there's only one right path for me.

I couldn't talk straight to the branch president but I somehow murmured the words to my companion, "I need to talk to the branch president." After that there was no going back... my fear increased but my desire to finish this thing out increased faster. The meeting couldn't happen too soon. A few hours later we had rousted out the proper authority to appear, late night, in the dorms. Our room became his office and everyone else had to vacate. The meeting was pretty short. I was counseled a bit, told my path to repentance was well on it's way, and told what to do if more problems occurred. When it was over I was like, is that it? We were getting up to let the others back in when he got a request to talk with my comp, and I was ejected from the room! There outside the door was a line of I can't remember how many people, but at least two! He performed a few interviews that night.

Well, pretty soon the spirit was upon me, and I had a lot of happiness and other thoughts to ponder, until I could finally reclaim my room and get some sleep!

My advice is to talk to whoever you can get the nerve to talk to. Maybe like me it will burst the barriers and help you finish out the proper course.

Good luck. and it's worth it!

brody3x wrote:what if you are afraid to tak to your bishop

Summon the courage and go see him. I would assure you that you will feel substantially better and that he will not treat you harshly. That is a common thread to almost all interviews by a repentant party as they leave the bishop's office. With few exceptions the repentant declare how much better they feel and how much easier it was than they thought. So it will be for you. The keys of the priesthood are a real and tangible thing. You will feel those keys as your bishop helps you to design whatever repentance plan is inspired by the Lord. You will feel of the Saviors love for you as your bishop meets with you and helps you apply the atonement in this and other areas of your life. Whatever is needed, your bishop will love you and hold your hand through the entire process. All bishops are not created equal, but the keys they hold frequently make them better than who they are. Translation, even mediocre men who are bishops when acting in the keys of the priesthood, such as repentance, are blessed by the Lord to be extraordinary.

Sustaining or choosing to oppose a sustaining aside (That takes courage, when it is the right thing to do.)...

Call the ward secretary and set up an appointment to talk with the bishop. Give the secretary an idea of how much time you anticipate you'll need to share what is on your mind and hear the bishop's feedback (usually 5-10 minutes of feedback + your time to relate the story and answer questions). The bishop will likely hear what you have to say; ask a few clarifying questions; read some scriptures about how to repent and seek forgiveness; give some advice regarding whether or not to take the sacrament (sometimes he may ask you to refrain for a period); or instruct you on steps that he would like you to take (prayer, scripture study, addiction recovery meetings, visit a counselor, write a journal, etc.). His advice and response will be according to his best effort to feel the Spirit regarding your situation. The feeling will be one of love and hope.

Repentance is a gift. It is a wonderful opportunity. You will be happier when you have confessed your sins and continue down the path to forgiveness. Nothing you have done cannot be forgiven. You can be clean again.

Fear is the tool of satan. Trust God in faith and step over the wall that bars the way to eternal progression.

Brody3x,
I must have missed something here. Did you say you committed a serious sin? I echo the advice all all that is said before me, however, why are you afraid?

I hope this story helps with whatever troubles you may be experiencing:

The following story told by Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone illustrates the necessity of changing our hearts and attitudes during true repentance:

“As I invited the young man into my office, after his having been cleared by his bishop and stake president [as a missionary candidate], I said to him: ‘Apparently there has been a major transgression in your life. That’s why I am involved in this interview. Would you mind being very frank and open and telling me what that transgression was?’

“With head held high and in a haughty manner he responded, ‘There isn’t anything I haven’t done.’

“I responded: ‘Well, then, let’s be more specific. Have you been involved in fornication?’

“Very sarcastically, he said, ‘I told you I’ve done everything.’

“I asked, ‘Was it a single experience, or did it happen with more than one girl and more than once?’

“And he said again, sarcastically, ‘Many girls and so many times I could not number them.’

“I said, ‘I would to God your transgression was not so serious.’

“ ‘Well, it is,’ he replied.

“ ‘How about drugs?’

“ ‘I told you I’ve done everything.’

“Then I said, ‘What makes you think you’re going on a mission?’

“ ‘Because I have repented,’ he replied. ‘I haven’t done any of these things for a year. I know I’m going on a mission because my patriarchal blessing says I’m going on a mission. I’ve been ordained an elder, I’ve lived the way I should this past year, and I know that I’m going on a mission.’

“I looked at the young man sitting across the desk: twenty-one years old, laughing, sarcastic, haughty, with an attitude far removed from sincere repentance. And I said to him: ‘My dear young friend, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you are not going on a mission. Do you suppose we could send you out with your braggadocio attitude about this past life of yours, boasting of your escapades? Do you think we could send you out with the fine, clean young men who have never violated the moral code, who have kept their lives clean and pure and worthy so that they might go on missions?’

“I repeated: ‘You’re not going on a mission. In fact,’ I said, ‘you shouldn’t have been ordained an elder and you really should have been tried for your membership in the Church.’

“ ‘What you have committed is a series of monumental transgressions,’ I continued. ‘You haven’t repented; you’ve just stopped doing something. Someday after you have been to Gethsemane and back, you’ll understand what true repentance is.’

“At this the young man started to cry. He cried for about five minutes, and during that time I didn’t say a word. … I just sat and waited as this young man cried.

“Finally he looked up and said, ‘I guess I haven’t cried like that since I was five years old.’

“I told him: ‘If you had cried like that the first time you were tempted to violate the moral code, you may well have been going on a mission today. Now, I’m sorry, I hate to be the one to keep you from realizing your goal. I know it will be hard to go back to your friends and tell them you are not going on a mission.

“ ‘After you’ve been to Gethsemane,’ I continued, ‘you’ll understand what I mean when I say that every person who commits a major transgression must also go to Gethsemane and back before he is forgiven.’

“The young man left the office, and I’m sure he wasn’t very pleased; I had stood in his way and kept him from going on a mission.

“About six months later, I was down in Arizona speaking at the institute at Tempe. After my talk many of the institute members came down the aisles to shake hands. As I looked up I saw this young man—the nonrepentant transgressor—coming down the aisle toward me, and at that moment the details of my interview with him came back through my mind. I recalled his braggadocio attitude, his sarcasm, his haughtiness.

“I reached down to shake hands with him, and as he looked up at me I could see that something wonderful had taken place in his life. Tears streamed down his cheeks. An almost holy glow came from his countenance. I said to him, ‘You’ve been there, haven’t you?’

“And through tears he said, ‘Yes, Bishop Featherstone, I’ve been to Gethsemane and back.’

“ ‘I know,’ I said. ‘It shows in your face. I believe now that the Lord has forgiven you.’

“He responded: ‘I’m more grateful to you than you’ll ever know for not letting me go on a mission. It would have been a great disservice to me. Thanks for helping me’ ” (A Generation of Excellence: A Guide for Parents and Youth Leaders [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1975], pp. 156–59).

tsc wrote:I hope this story helps with whatever troubles you may be experiencing:

The following story told by Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone illustrates the necessity of changing our hearts and attitudes during true repentance:
'''''''''''''''''''''''''’.

really good story
don't know if its exactly how it happened, but a good story all the same

Great story, Thanks! I am sure there are many that story can help.

Is tsc in the Young men's?

No, but I have 3 sons - 1 deacon, 1 teacher, and 1 priest, does that count?

Just "tak" to you bishop already.....

what if you are afraid to tak to your bishop

I think we should email a link to this thread to its creator; I don't think Brody has returned to benefit from all the "wisdom" we have been sharing with ourselves.

I find it fascinating that most people on this thread jumped to the conclusion that Brody has some confessing to do. He gave no details about why he (or it could be someone else, for that matter) is afraid to talk to his bishop.

Perhaps it could be a lesson to all of us in learning to LISTEN and really try to understand before jumping to conclusions and being so quick to give advice.

braingrunt, I appreciated your personal story and thoughts. Thank you.