Discipline received for failure as a replacement homemaker
Posted: June 5th, 2010, 8:24 pm
My wife was a little under the weather today so I decided I would try to help out. I proved to be an annoyance in at least one area. We have a desert tortoise we adopted last year. His name, he informed last year, was Henry. In the late afternoon when I go out to check the garden he normally tootles along and heads away from the garden and for the back door, then toward the kitchen. Today was no exception. Off he went to the kitchen with one thing on his mind. Food.
Alissa, my daughter-in-law was in the kitchen and I called out to my wife that Henry was in the house and wanted his dinner. Uncharacteristically she informed me that the grated carrots, cabbage, lettuce and yam were in the frig. I took this as a subtle hint that it would be me, not my wife, getting Henry's dinner.
I went and got him a new paper plate, (he rattles the glass ones too much) and placed it on the floor. My wife normally prepares the plate in advance before placing it on the floor and my version was apparently quite unacceptable to Henry as he looked at the plate in disgust then went over to Alissa and nibbled on her bare toe. I hurriedly put some carrots and some lettuce on the plate and went back outside to get some garden fresh lettuce, (he likes that better than the store bought lettuce). He saw the orange carrots and headed for the plate by the time I was returning but turned to me in disgust because the yam was missing. I cut the lettuce and put in on the floor and he looked again... but still no yam.
I hurried back to the frig and grabbed the baked specifically for Henry yam and started to squeeze it out of its skin (he does not like the skin). He obviously could smell it and headed in my direction near the sink, just a few feet from his plate. This time it was my toe Henry decided to use as a whipping boy to show his displeasure and while I prepared the yam my foot accepted the assault.
The yam hit the plate and he released my toe from his vicious toothless jaws and plunged face first into his favorite food on this earth.
Alissa and I escaped any real harm. Next time I will try to do it right.
Oh the trials and tribulations men must endure when their wives are not feeling well. I hope I can recover soon.
Alissa, my daughter-in-law was in the kitchen and I called out to my wife that Henry was in the house and wanted his dinner. Uncharacteristically she informed me that the grated carrots, cabbage, lettuce and yam were in the frig. I took this as a subtle hint that it would be me, not my wife, getting Henry's dinner.
I went and got him a new paper plate, (he rattles the glass ones too much) and placed it on the floor. My wife normally prepares the plate in advance before placing it on the floor and my version was apparently quite unacceptable to Henry as he looked at the plate in disgust then went over to Alissa and nibbled on her bare toe. I hurriedly put some carrots and some lettuce on the plate and went back outside to get some garden fresh lettuce, (he likes that better than the store bought lettuce). He saw the orange carrots and headed for the plate by the time I was returning but turned to me in disgust because the yam was missing. I cut the lettuce and put in on the floor and he looked again... but still no yam.
I hurried back to the frig and grabbed the baked specifically for Henry yam and started to squeeze it out of its skin (he does not like the skin). He obviously could smell it and headed in my direction near the sink, just a few feet from his plate. This time it was my toe Henry decided to use as a whipping boy to show his displeasure and while I prepared the yam my foot accepted the assault.
The yam hit the plate and he released my toe from his vicious toothless jaws and plunged face first into his favorite food on this earth.
Alissa and I escaped any real harm. Next time I will try to do it right.
Oh the trials and tribulations men must endure when their wives are not feeling well. I hope I can recover soon.