Humor - what's so funny?

[Fred]

I hope I never wake up to something that looks anything like that!

[Silver Pie]

Looks like a he/him with the 5 o'clock shadow.
And what happens if he decides to be a he/him again or a they/their?

Rather like tattooing your wife's picture or name prominently on your body, then you get divorced, and you hate her, but there she still is on your person for all the world to see.

[HVDC]

Looks like someone is trying too hard.

Sir H

[Lizzy60]

Despite the pronouns on the forehead, I think the facial hair is a dead giveaway that this is a dude, not a dudette.

[Fred]

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[Niemand]

Despite the pronouns on the forehead, I think the facial hair is a dead giveaway that this is a dude, not a dudette.

I dunno, have you been to certain parts of the world?

[HVDC]

Despite the pronouns on the forehead, I think the facial hair is a dead giveaway that this is a dude, not a dudette.

I dunno, have you been to certain parts of the world?

In this case.

I vote dude.

But I have seen women.

Ostensibly, so.

With serious facial hair.

But with otherwise feminine facial features.

This one had testosterone.

Sir H

[HVDC]

marthas-vineyard.jpg

666-2.jpg

I don't honk at anyone.

Crazy is the new normal.

Sir H

[Niemand]

Despite the pronouns on the forehead, I think the facial hair is a dead giveaway that this is a dude, not a dudette.

I dunno, have you been to certain parts of the world?

In this case.

I vote dude.

But I have seen women.

Ostensibly, so.

With serious facial hair.

But with otherwise feminine facial features.

This one had testosterone.

Sir H

I remember a Mexican woman from years ago. Very feminine in certain respects, but she insisted on wearing a top which showed off her midriff. Her back was hairier than mine. Any more and she would have had to comb it.

Pale skin and very dark hair are not a good combo. I know of a few women who have to wax their moustache off. That's not uncommon. Mediterranean women have this problem a lot

[Cruiserdude]

Despite the pronouns on the forehead, I think the facial hair is a dead giveaway that this is a dude, not a dudette.

I dunno, have you been to certain parts of the world?

In this case.

I vote dude.

But I have seen women.

Ostensibly, so.

With serious facial hair.

But with otherwise feminine facial features.

This one had testosterone.

Sir H

I remember a Mexican woman from years ago. Very feminine in certain respects, but she insisted on wearing a top which showed off her midriff. Her back was hairier than mine. Any more and she would have had to comb it.

Pale skin and very dark hair are not a good combo. I know of a few women who have to wax their moustache off. That's not uncommon. Mediterranean women have this problem a lot

You just reminded me of one of my favorite parts from a favorite movie, Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase.

Ellen : Yeah, and it's about my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs, and your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip, and then they don't speak to each other...
Clark : Your mother waxes her upper lip?
Ellen : She has for years.
Clark : Hmm...Doesn't show.

It's at the 50 second mark:

[Fred]

marthas-vineyard.jpg

666-2.jpg

I don't honk at anyone.

Crazy is the new normal.

Sir H

I don't either. It's just a meme.

[Fred]

Little Johnny is playing with his baseball and mitt in the living room. “Suddenly his mother comes tearing down the stairs dressed only in a sheer robe. Get up stairs with those things, while I greet your father.” Not wanting to get in trouble Johnny goes upstairs and hides in his mother's closet. He soon realizes there is a man standing next to him. “It sure is dark in here", he says. “Shhhh" comes the reply. “Mister, do you want to buy my baseball mitt?” “Shhhhh, be quiet. How much?” “A hundred dollars" Johnny says. “That's ridiculous. “ “I'll tellllll.” Johnny says. The man shoves a hundred dollar bill into his hand, “now BE QUIET!”

That night at dinner, dad asks Johnny, “where's your mitt, son?” “I sold it for a hundred dollars.” Johnny says. The father is flabbergasted, “You know that old mitt wasn't worth that much money. You took advantage of some poor soul. Well, tomorrow's church, you can get forgiveness there. But you should be ashamed of yourself. “

The next day, Johnny meekly walks into the confessional, looks around and says “It sure is dark in here.” From which comes a reply from behind the screen, “Boy, don't you start with with me again!”

[truefreedom]

.
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-it-cow-dun ... ng?share=1
.
Why is it cow dung and bullsh-t, but not cow sh-t and bull dung?
.
The answer is that cow dung was good for fertilization, but not bull dung, it was coarser because of the testosterone levels, so it was considered sh-t . A farmer would try to hide the bull sh-t with cow dung, when trying to sell it as fertilizer. The purchaser would say your not bull sh-tting me are you. Hence we have the word bullsh-tter, I just told you a bunch of Bull-SH-T.

[Fred]

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[AkalAish]

A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday, the Catholics are driven crazy because, while they are supping on fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks. Eventually, the good neighbors had had enough. The went to the priest to see what could be done.

"Bring him to me," the priest said. "I think I have an idea."

The Jewish man was convinced, after much cajoling, to attend catechism classes with the goal of conversion.

Finally, after many threats, education, and much pleading, the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water on his head and says, "Born a Jew, Raised a Jew, now a Catholic."

The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but maddening smells every Friday evening.

Or so they thought...

The next Friday evening came along and, behold, the scent of barbecue wafts yet again through the neighborhood.

The Catholics all rush to the Jew's house to remind him of his new diet. They see him standing over the cooking steak, marinating it lovingly and humming a nice tune.

Baffled and chagrined, they remind him that he can no longer eat steak on Fridays.

He simply smiles and says, "But, wait! I figured something out. Watch this..."

He sprinkles water on the meat and says, "Born a cow, raised a cow, now a fish!"

[Thinker]

[Fred]

You may have found them under a brick or a damp object. These insects, also known as slaters , butchie boys , Rollie Pollies, etc are a subgroup of isopod their function is to remove harmful heavy metals to the earth such as mercury, cadmium and lead. They contribute to the cleansing of the soil and groundwater and reaffirm the wisdom of nature.
Do not damage them or spray pesticides. Embrace them and allow them to heal the soil!

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Every Biden voter is a traitor

[HVDC]

Well.

That explains a lot.



Sir H

[Fred]

[Silver Pie]

I didn't know they did that. That's good to know.


We called them potato bugs - probably because they resemble a potato from the top. Way after I was grown up, I heard someone else call them pill bugs (probably because they look like a pill when they roll up).

You may have found them under a brick or a damp object. These insects, also known as slaters , butchie boys , Rollie Pollies, etc are a subgroup of isopod their function is to remove harmful heavy metals to the earth such as mercury, cadmium and lead. They contribute to the cleansing of the soil and groundwater and reaffirm the wisdom of nature.
Do not damage them or spray pesticides. Embrace them and allow them to heal the soil!

rolly.jpg

Every Biden voter is a traitor

[Niemand]

I didn't know they did that. That's good to know.


We called them potato bugs - probably because they resemble a potato from the top. Way after I was grown up, I heard someone else call them pill bugs (probably because they look like a pill when they roll up).

You may have found them under a brick or a damp object. These insects, also known as slaters , butchie boys , Rollie Pollies, etc are a subgroup of isopod their function is to remove harmful heavy metals to the earth such as mercury, cadmium and lead. They contribute to the cleansing of the soil and groundwater and reaffirm the wisdom of nature.
Do not damage them or spray pesticides. Embrace them and allow them to heal the soil!

rolly.jpg

Every Biden voter is a traitor

We call them slaters in these parts.

There have a lot of traditional names in English.

[Silver Pie]

Wow, those are a lot of names!

Woodlice? I've heard of those, but didn't know they were the same thing as potato bugs.

We call them slaters in these parts.

There have a lot of traditional names in English.

[creator]

You may have found them under a brick or a damp object. These insects, also known as slaters , butchie boys , Rollie Pollies, etc are a subgroup of isopod their function is to remove harmful heavy metals to the earth such as mercury, cadmium and lead. They contribute to the cleansing of the soil and groundwater and reaffirm the wisdom of nature.
Do not damage them or spray pesticides. Embrace them and allow them to heal the soil!

Interesting words of wisdom for the "humor" thread. Seems we materialistic humans do a lot of ignorant things contrary to nature.

I always heard those called "Potato Bugs".

[abijah]

[Niemand]

I'm old enough to remember when the phrase "I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body" was a standard joke for edgy stand-up comedians.

It was less than ten years ago!